Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Evolution At It's Finest

All parents get strange questions from their kids, but Sunday I got the craziest one yet in my 8 years of parenthood.


"Dad, why don't animals have buttcracks? They have holes but no cracks."


The query came from my six yer old son while we were sitting in a hunting blind watching a young doe. Yes, she happened to lighten her load while we were spying on her, which is what provoked the question.

Summoning all of my worldly wisdom, I said, "Humans have complex brains, opposable thumbs, and butt cracks. That's what makes us special."
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49 comments:

  1. DavidNovember 11, 2008 at 2:12 PM

    Apes have buttcracks. And horses. And cows. And hippos and rhinos.

    Ants don't. I think.

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  2. AnonymousNovember 11, 2008 at 2:13 PM

    I think that's a fantastic question. Though I think there are some kinds of monkeys that have buttcracks, if hours at the zoo with six year old students taught me anything.

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  3. Blogless TrollNovember 11, 2008 at 2:29 PM

    AhHa! Great answer.

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  4. CamiKaosNovember 11, 2008 at 2:36 PM

    and elephants I think.

    What a great question and wise answer.

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  5. Barbara MartinNovember 11, 2008 at 2:59 PM

    David is correct on his list of animals.

    Travis, an adult has to be a quick thinker to come up with an answer for a child's innocent question. And then make it so natural they won't repeat the question. Good thing it wasn't in church.

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  6. Sepiru ChrisNovember 11, 2008 at 3:01 PM

    Dear Travis,

    What a nice succinct, tight story.

    I visualized you, your son, the doe, and the blind. I could imagine the perplexed frown on your son and the surprise that I am sure you tried to hide when you heard his question.

    I now understand better what you meant when you suggested breaking down my Alba posting into three separate posts. Thanks for that suggestion on my post, and thanks for such a good illustration in this posting.

    Oh, and I especially related to your forged ATM card story. I cannot wait to return home to Hong Kong so that it is easier to post, as I feel a bit inspired.

    Cheers from rainy Vancouver,
    Chris

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  7. Spy ScribblerNovember 11, 2008 at 3:22 PM

    Well, now I know, too!

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  8. CloudiaNovember 11, 2008 at 3:29 PM

    Travis: PERFECT age-appropriate answer! (Evolutionary psychologists might say it's a sex thang) Aloha from Waikiki-

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  9. Melissa AmateisNovember 11, 2008 at 3:30 PM

    Oh my. That cracked me up. I don't know how I would answer that question, but I think you did a good job. :-)

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  10. MonnikNovember 11, 2008 at 3:54 PM

    ha! I love that question. Good answer too!!

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  11. David CranmerNovember 11, 2008 at 4:11 PM

    Travis, your a regular Dr. Spock!

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  12. Kristen PainterNovember 11, 2008 at 4:17 PM

    You've gotta have cheeks to have a crack.

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  13. AnonymousNovember 11, 2008 at 4:22 PM

    Ah, that's too classic. Gotta love children -- they get down to the nitty-gritty.

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  14. HilaryNovember 11, 2008 at 6:18 PM

    Sounds like an asstute child. ;)

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  15. JanetNovember 11, 2008 at 7:31 PM

    Hilary, that was a three-groaner.

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  16. ShaunaNovember 11, 2008 at 8:51 PM

    BWAHAHAHA! Perfect answer!

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  17. JensterNovember 11, 2008 at 9:16 PM

    Thanks for clearing that up for me! Not that I ever wondered - I'm not that smart. :o)

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  18. ReidNovember 11, 2008 at 9:56 PM

    Hah! Very well played. You've got to be fast to be a dad.

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  19. UnknownNovember 11, 2008 at 10:15 PM

    Now I know why there is no talking in the blind.

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  20. yellowdoggrannyNovember 11, 2008 at 10:32 PM

    i want to live long enough to see that kid grow up...what a great mind..

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  21. That Janie GirlNovember 11, 2008 at 11:45 PM

    Dude. You are in serious trouble with that kid.

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  22. JoshuaNovember 12, 2008 at 12:47 AM

    your level on the food chain is determined by the butt crack question lol

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  23. AaronNovember 12, 2008 at 7:19 AM

    I don't know what's funnier... your son's question or the fact that so many of your readers are intimately familiar with animals that have butt-cracks.

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  24. pattinase (abbott)November 12, 2008 at 8:13 AM

    That is truly something I have never given a second's thought. Maybe because I never sat in a hunting bind watching animals at close range.

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  25. alex ketoNovember 12, 2008 at 8:29 AM

    You should have told your son, "We have buttcracks so that plumbers can gross us out when they fix the pipe under the sink."

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  26. NicoleNovember 12, 2008 at 9:20 AM

    Thanks for the warning, as I bet he will enlighten Colby about this sometime soon...

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  27. March2theSeaNovember 12, 2008 at 9:23 AM

    well played..i am gonna steal that one!

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  28. Charles GramlichNovember 12, 2008 at 10:31 AM

    I know some humans who ARE butt cracks.

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  29. Melanie HooyengaNovember 12, 2008 at 11:18 AM

    ROFLMAO!! Good answer.

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  30. JessNovember 12, 2008 at 11:35 AM

    I just can't top Hilary's comment. I tried. Sorry. :)

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  31. Merry MonteleoneNovember 12, 2008 at 2:06 PM

    Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha...

    Perfect answer. I also like Melissa Marsh's That cracked me up...

    But then I'm a sucker for silly puns.

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  32. Angie LedbetterNovember 12, 2008 at 2:13 PM

    OMG. LOL. How 'bout a spew warning up front next time? Rock on, Daddy!

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  33. DuckNovember 12, 2008 at 4:01 PM

    I was going to post a short list of animals I could think of with butt cracks but I see I've been beaten to the punch so I will politely withdraw to my corner now. Also, thanks Blogger for correcting my apparently incorrectly spelled "buttcracks" to "butt cracks"!

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  34. SamNovember 12, 2008 at 4:09 PM

    Hahahahah! Too funny!
    Kids are So great!
    (and your answer wasn't bad either!)

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  35. UnknownNovember 12, 2008 at 6:18 PM

    i found you through rebecca's blog. with this being the first post of yours i read i may have to read more often. nicely handled. better than the go ask wikipedia which i have been known to give my 7 year old.

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  36. Gregory AndersonNovember 12, 2008 at 6:48 PM

    Yet another memorable Father/Son moment from the annals of Deer Stand Wisdom.

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  37. JunosmomNovember 13, 2008 at 7:09 AM

    Given the responses of Aaron and Charles, I'll keep my response to only saying the question was hilarious, if not accurate.

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  38. Terrie Farley MoranNovember 13, 2008 at 8:25 AM

    Hi Travis,

    The world loves kids, and the world especially loves fathers like you who spend the time and answer the questions.

    Terrie

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  39. Danette HaworthNovember 13, 2008 at 8:59 AM

    Travis,
    Your wisdom surpasses that of the ordinary man. I don't believe Wikipedia covers the subject; perhaps you can be of some help to them.

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  40. AnonymousNovember 13, 2008 at 9:46 AM

    Six years old and he already has a writer's questioning mind. I love it!

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  41. Lana GramlichNovember 13, 2008 at 11:40 AM

    Ahhhhhhhh. So THAT'S what separates us from the animals! *LOL*
    (FYI, you won the blogiversary contest. In case I don't still have it, please send your street address to lgramlich@email.com )

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  42. AnndiNovember 13, 2008 at 11:44 AM

    That's why you've never seen an animal fix a kitchen sink.

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  43. JMNovember 13, 2008 at 11:49 AM

    Good response!

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  44. RickNovember 13, 2008 at 12:03 PM

    This made my day, Travis. I needed a good laugh.

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  45. BubblewenchNovember 13, 2008 at 12:15 PM

    Oh, you're a genius! I will say I had to wait to scroll down and read the rest after the question cause I was laughing so har.


    I read a book you recommend a bit back, and recommeded it today on my blog too.

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  46. PattiNovember 13, 2008 at 1:03 PM

    just say no to crack....

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  47. MaryNovember 14, 2008 at 2:50 PM

    LOL! Wonderful answer. :)

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  48. Lana GramlichNovember 15, 2008 at 9:56 PM

    Still need your street address again, Travis (see my previous comment on this post.)

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  49. preTzelNovember 29, 2008 at 3:54 PM

    LOL! Kids say the damndest things at the damndest times. :)

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