Yacking Away

Alexander Graham Bell and the telephone.

Eli Whitney and the cotton gin.

Thomas Edison and the electric light bulb.

As a boy I often thought it would be cool to come up with some great invention. Something that benefited all of mankind. Something that I could patent and make a fortune off of the rest of my life.



Something like the barf bag.


This little gem caught my eye on my recent flight to San Antonio. It's a bag with a metal fastener at the top. There is one in every seat back on the plane. It never even occurred to me that somewhere down the line somebody invented the barf bag and patented it, until I spotted the number right there on it.

Maybe his patent simply improved on an already good idea. Maybe the barf bags of old didn't have that slick almost plastic quality that seals out moisture to prevent the contents from leaking out. Maybe there was no tie system at the top. Who knows, but I think it would make for a good character in a humor piece to have a man who's family fortunes are tied to barf bags.

One invention I do not get is the label on Coors Light bottles and cans. Have you seen it on their commercials. The mountains turn blue when the beer is cold enough to drink. Really have beer drinkers gotten so stupid they can't decide what's cold anymore? I've never been a fan of Coors beer, light or otherwise. it's all too bitter for my liking, but that whole blue mountain thing kind of bugs me. As does their fake football coach press conferences. Like most things in life, the best beers do not need to resort to stupid commercials or cheesy gimmicks to peddle their beer.

So in summary, I give two thumbs up to barf bags and two thumbs down to temperature sensitive labels. Of course emptying too many of those fancy labels could lead one to need a barf bag. Maybe every twelve pack should come with it's own patented collection bag. That would save many a frat house rug from future stains I'm sure.