My Life of Crime

It is probably never a good idea to confess to crime on the internet. Much less on a blog with my name plastered all over it, but for the sake of your entertainment I'm gonna do it anyway.

The Golden Light Cantina sits along sixth street in Amarillo. Back in the day this was part of historic Route 66. Now this particular stretch of the famed roadway is lined with antique stores and bars. For my money The Golden Light is the best live music venue in all of the Texas Panhandle. You'll have a hard time finding a night when they don't have something worthwhile going on.

So there we were Saturday night at the Golden Light listening to Lee Sheetz and Borderline play. Those present were myself, My wife, Cicily Janus, Kensington Editor Hilary Sares, and Jeff Campbell.

Now me and my wife are regulars at the small bar, or at least we were before we had children, but everyone else was from out of town. Cicily and Jeff, are from Colorado and of course Hilary is from New York City.

So there we were having a good time, listening to some tunes, taking an occasional turn around the small dance floor. Over the years I've known her Hilary has become quite adept at the Texas Two-Step. As a group we were four or five pitcher of Shiner Bock into a good evening when Hilary motioned for me to follow her over to the other side of the room.

Whispering the best she could over the loud music she pointed to a poster on the Ladies room door and asked me how much trouble she'd get in if she took off the wall and ... well for lack of a better term -- STOLE IT.

Now I'm not one to let my guests get thrown in jail so I volunteered to get the poster for her. About a foot and a half by two foot the poster was for a musician scheduled to play later in the month.

I went back to my table, waited for a few songs and then calmly walked over opened the women's restroom door, we're talking small one-seater bathrooms here, and while I had it open I popped the poster free from the door. Then I shut it, did what anybody who'd consumed a fair amount of beer would do, flushed and walked out with the poster in my hand. Luckily there was a back door only a few feet away and the thing was propped open to allow for better ventilation. So I walked out deposited the poster in my vehicle and then rejoined my group. All in all a heist in about forty-five seconds. Maybe I can get a part in Ocean's Fifteen or whatever number they are up to now.

What I didn't tell you earlier was that not only is Jeff Campbell a writer, but he also used to be a state policman in New Mexico. So I knowingly committed a theft with an ex cop right there to witness, but what I really want to know is how many of you reading this will be willing to contribute to my bail when the authorities read this blog?