Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Chopsticks

Since Saturday evening my life has turned into the lyrics of a bad country and western song ...

It's been said that life is sweet,
That's true enough, 'cept when things turn sour
The bad times, the rough days, well, they ain't no treat
It's raining, it's pouring, it's a steady shower

The heats on the rise and it got to a hundred and six
the AC done quit and the sweat is starting to roll
Spent two hundred dollars to get the damn thing fixed
I keep trying to climb, but somebody greased the pole

Sweet and sour like chicken at that Oriental joint
sweet and sour, Life -- what's the point?

Went to start my car and head down the road
What the hells this, someone stole my gas
siphoned my tank, the dirty thieving toad
if I catch him I'll kick his criminal ass

Sweet and sour, my life is a Chinese sauce
sweet and sour two sides of a coin toss

Oh but that's not the end of my sad tale
yesterday my dial tone decided to bale
got no phone nor internet
cause I live in the sticks and can't get high speed just yet

Yeah life is sweet most of the time
Except when fate serves you a lime
Still haven't finished my danged novel
But I'll stop whining before I begin to grovel

27 comments:

Melissa Marsh said...

LOL! Love the lyrics! But wow, you've definitely hit a rough patch. I can't believe someone stole your gas! But I've heard it's happening more and more.

Hope the week gets better for you.

Janna Qualman said...

Holy cow! What an ordeal (or two, or three). But good for you, for writing about it. I hope things begin looking up soon!

Patti said...

the heat is gonna kill us all this summer. and i have air. eesh.

here's something to ponder doing: http://fortydaysoffaith.blogspot.com/

trish ryan has formed a new site just to see what could happen if we focused for 40 days. go take a look and see what you think mr. i-ain't-finished-my-novel.

ChrisEldin said...

Okay, I thought this was a real song.
Somebody actually siphoned your gas? That's scary, to me. A portent of things to come (not for you, for the country)

I miss country music. I'll be playing your tune in my head until we get back....

Hang in there. Things will start looking up.

Bubblewench said...

That's a great song.. sorry to hear you're on the bottom of the karma wheel this past weekend! Who'd you piss off?

It will get better... and I will buy your novel when its published.

SUV MAMA said...

Oh, T. You always make me smile. Even though clearly that crap isn't worth smiling about!

Stealing gas???? Holy Moly. Maybe it was someone who really needed it. Still a crappy, illegal thing ot do, and shame on them... but karma always bites them in the ass eventually.

Lisa said...

At least you've kept your sense of humor...I think we need video to go with this :)

Terrie Farley Moran said...

Travis,

Great lyrics.

Here's hoping life turns around for you so you can focus on that novel!

Terrie

Brooke said...

Someone STOLE your gas??? That is just the lowest of the low, seriously.

Have you set this ditty to music yet?

Clare2e said...

Siphoning gas?! I hope that low-down prarie rat burned his throat on those stolen oats. Good luck with straightening out the rest of the tangles.

jjdebenedictis said...

Great lyrics! But I shouldn't be laughing at your pain, should I? *hangs head*

Patti said:
the heat is gonna kill us all this summer.

Heh. Speak for yourself. Here on the wet coast of Canada, we've had maybe three nice-ish days so far this summer. Cold and grey, otherwise; I could use a wee bit of your heat.

March to the Sea said...

now, who would sing that song?

Barbara Martin said...

Great lyrics. Too bad about your gas (you'll need to get a locking gas cap) and the AC. The gas shortage...I think it's government hype.

It gets hot and humid in Toronto, but not until late July or August; and it has been rather cloudy, very cool and wet of late. Yesterday was the first sunshine I had seen of any amount and went for a morning walk glorifying in it. That is, until 6 pm when I went out again to find the air thick with humidity and heat.
Today it's back to rain, but the trees are in full leaf this spring and the evergreens have longer new spurts to their branches from the moisture. The last two years have been very dry, and I welcome the rain for the earth and the farmers.
Sorry, Travis, but things will get better for you. It's a new moon today bringing good things for everyone.

Shauna Roberts said...

You got the right to sing the blues.

Linda McLaughlin said...

Wow, when life dumps on you, it really dumps on you. Just having 106 degree weather is bad enough, but then to have someone steal the gas out of your tank... Sheesh, no wonder you're writing sad country songs. Someone should set that to music.

Hope things improve soon.

Linda

Charles Gramlich said...

Well when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Or write a country western song.

Sorry, my comment here made even me gag.

Hope things smooth out for you.

angel, jr. said...

Hey that was good!!

debra said...

Oh my, Travis, a country song indeed! It's raining in NE OH, too and the temperature is supposed to be in the 90's by Thursday. But your gas----someone stole your $4/gal.gas?

Reminds me of the time when we got 3 inches of rain in 20 minutes and the septic system backed up in the basement. I wrote a country/blues song:
I got the blues, I got the blues
I got the septic system blues
(repeat)
I can't cope with it
My basement's full of shit
I got the septic system blues.

But your $4 a gallon gas????

But your $4 a gallon gas??

pattinase (abbott) said...

I wish I could hear the tune to it.

Barbara Martin said...

Travis, I posted something just for you that may make you smile a little and hopefully give you some relief from the heat.

Keep your thoughts positive despite what has occurred and things will improve.

Marla said...

Lordy! That is bad. Our AC is broken as well and I could not get an appointment till the end of the week.

I heard about gas being stolen but figured it was just hype. Now, I guess I know someone who had it stolen. What are we to do? Put locks on the caps?

You must be very patient to blog with a slow connection. I would crack up.

Mom In Scrubs said...

Wow. What a shitstorm.

Hope the sun comes out soon. Sans the heat.

If I could send some of our floodwaters your way I would...

Penelope said...

Dude, how did you get your AC fixed for a mere two hundred bucks???

Sorry things are sucky for you right now.

Good Luck!!!

Karen

Lana Gramlich said...

When fate hands you a lime it's time to break out the 6-pack of Coronas, bud! ;)

Rocketstar said...

to bad it can't be hot and spicy instead of sweet and sour....

Brian in Mpls said...

Your gas? Really?

Mary Witzl said...

It's no joke when your AC konks out and it's 105 outside. Wish I could send you some of our too-cool weather.

One week, we had a multiply leaky roof, a backed-up fireplace, dud washing machine, and two cases of gastroenteretis. Then the next week, our car died. I know your pain!

But on the bright side, now you've got a country-western song. That's something. Love Debra's septic system blues. We've had that, too.