Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Get This

After my recent post over at Criminal Brief, (thanks to all of you who popped over and commented) I've gotten a lot of comments and emails. The vast majority have been encouraging and flattering but I sense one common misconception. That I somehow "get women." I don't mean get as in -- Hey Baby wanna come back to my pad -- kind-of-way. I'm talking more along the -- You are so attuned to the female psyche -- kind-of-way.

Truth be told I don't think "get" a lot of things about my female counterparts. I have no problem writing about emotions, dreams, hopes, wants, fears, and motivations from a female point of view, and actually I don't think men and women are all that different in a lot of those areas. We just tend to express them differently.

But there are somethings that completely baffle me. Since a lot of my readers are female maybe they can help me unravel few of these mysteries.

Capri Pants -- Just this week my wife Jennifer told me she needed to go buy new pants. Pants that would be cooler for our upcoming trip to Vegas. So what did she come home with? Something similar to this.

They are denim! And all of about five inches shorter than jeans? Oooh ... I can feel the cool breeze blowing across my shin now. Never mind it will be a hundred and ten, if my ankle bones are unencumbered I'll feel as fresh as a daisy. If you ask me, the word Capri is just a fancy name for high-water britches.

Eyelash Curlers -- Why oh why? Never in the history of mankind has a man uttered these words. "She ain't real pretty and she's dumber than a box of rocks but man you should see the way her eyelashes curl." Nor has a fella said, "She kinda trips my trigger and she laughs at all my jokes ... of only she had a but of curl to her lashes."

Sex and the City -- Candice Bushnell original book may have been well written and entertaining. I don't know, but the HBO series grated on my last nerve. How do so many women relate to such insecure, materialistic, wanton women. They all seemed like needy, desperate man-clinging weaklings to me. They routinely ran off every good man and pined for every time of stereotypical idiot the word has to offer. Most of the women I know are stronger and more independent than that. Jennifer watched the show for a while but even she tired of the trivial drama and quit watching. So why do so many care about these characters? What's the appeal.

Okay, so tell me what I'm missing on these three things. Or feel free to drop a question about something idiotic we men partake in. I'm sure there are plenty and I will do my best to give you my take.


Bubblewench said...

Oh Travis, I'm cracking up so hard right now..

Capri pants.. ok, they just show off a little ankle but oddly they are cooler then a pair of pants when it's hot out.

I don't get the eyelash curler thing either. I don't wear makeup so.. I'm with ya there.

And SITC? PLEASE SHOOT ME. I watched it briefly and found it ridiculous and knew that if those women were my friends, I'd be slapping them upside the heads telling them their idiots. Thats why I have no friends. I tell them the truth!

WHY do Guys INSIST on scratching their balls all the time in public? I was recently watching the Police Chief of Philadelphia speak and his 'minion' behind him kept scratching! WHY OH WHY? Go to the damn bathroom if you have an itch!

Monnik said...

hahaha. this post is funny.

I love capri pants mainly because I don't feel comfortable in shorts.

Eyelash curlers make it so that your mascara encrusted lashes don't poke you in the eye.

I've only seen one episode of SATC and I hated it, so clearly I'm not a real woman.

Travis Erwin said...

Bubblewench -- We don't scratch because they're itchy persay. Usually it's an alignment issue, but we are also very guarded of our testicles. Sometime we just like to check and make sure they're still there.

Charles Gramlich said...

I have no idea. I don't get a lot of things about women. Of course, I don't get a lot of things about many men either. Humans are weird.

preTzel said...

Capris - The real truth? Because we're too lazy to shave past our knees. So next time you see a woman in Capris you'll know it's because she's a sasquatch from the knees up. Remember to bring the weed wacker before sex.

Eyelash curler - Don't get it. I guess it's so when we bat them at you men you'll swoon. Otherwise I have no clue because I don't use them.

SATC - Never watched it. To me it's just another soap opera and since I loathe soap operas I wasn't going to indulge in that bullshit. That goes for Desperate Housewives too. Blech!~

Now for men ---

What is so funny about a fart? Really? Is it cool to watch your woman gag and retch from ripping you a good one? And why is it funny when a man expels flatulance but when a woman does it it's gross?

Burps - Men can burp but Mr. preTzel believes women "force" burps. Please. I never have to force gas - it just explodes. I say better to explode out than in.

I'm with Bubblewench on the ball scratching. Just imagine if a woman was constantly "adjusting" her cootie. We have things that might get "uncomfortable" if our capries are too tight or we curled those eyelashes too much - or certain things are growing back in. (GAWD! Why don't my legs itch like that when the hair is growing...oh shit...TMI!)

Why, oh why, must men be men. Really. Why is it wrong for a man to cry because his day went bad? Or because he just felt like it? Why does it make him "wimpy"? I think a real man will shed his tears when the hammer slams in to his finger. Big ol' galoots.

The Penis Fairy™ - Do you fear that one day the penis fairy will come and remove your peepee and this is why you must grip it in your sleep? I don't know if all men do this but all FOUR of my preTzel guys do it in their sleep. I swear it's a fear of the Penis Fairy. Like she's going to come back and say "Oooh, you're not holding your penis and you didn't 'adjust' today so I'm taking it back!" ZAP! Your penis is gone.

Men are wierd. And smelly.

Beatrice, Bea, Bibi--That's me! said...

LOLOL I'm laughing real hard right now!
Capri pants--we like to show off our ankles sometimes--yes we do AND we don't always look real attractive in shorts.( I'm speaking for myself here ) and after all, they are the style right now and most of the time in the spring/summer you can't find much more in a women's clothing store but capris.

Eyelash curler--I sometimes use one, sometimes don't. Why do we use one? Because some of us (myself again) have stick straight eyelashes. And of course, we want our eyelashes curly because they look more attractive that way.

I didn't really get SITC. Not sure why, just didn't.

I didn't understand the scratching thing either. I don't understand why my husband and stepson have to try to out gross out each other. And it always happens when we are eating a meal.....don't get that one....uh uh, nope no way.

Natasha Fondren said...

LOLOL! My Capri theory: she thinks they're cute, will look good, and wanted a logical explanation to suit the male mind so she could get your credit card. :-)

Eyelash Curlers: No idea. Absolutely no idea. Never had one, never used one.

Sex and the City: TRAVIS! You disappoint me! I loved Sex and the City, largely because every fear, every neurosis, every insecurity, hope and dream I'd ever experienced was at some time covered, and it made me feel alone.

And because I would love to live in New York City and be able to AFFORD to look SO good and stylish and cool, and have such cool jobs.

And because I would LOVE to have three friends I got together with weekly. And as much as I would hate to be back in the dating scene, I love reliving the roller coaster ride of that world.

Pretzel's farting: THANK YOU! Sheesh. EXACTLY! I would really love an explanation on that one.

I mean, he's freaking PROUD of his farts, but when I fart? It's disgusting.

Natasha Fondren said...

Um, that's "it made me feel LESS alone."

Janna Leadbetter said...

GREAT post! But all I can give reason to is capri pants. I love them! If I'm not feeling confident enough to bare my legs in all their pale glory, I can cool off (even if just a bit) and look trendy by pulling on some capris. I hope they never go out of style.

I do own an eyelash curler, but I think it came in a make-up kit. I've never used it, not once. Now those little razors, meant for shaving between the eyebrows? I dig those.

SITC - It's just not my bag. *shrugs*

You gotta come up with more of these things! :)

Janna Leadbetter said...

And I meant to put SATC.

Laura K. Curtis said...

The fact that you don't "get" any of those things isn't because you're male. I'm female and I don't get them, either. But then, there are lots of things in life I don't understand, so I just figure it's not my lot in life to be the all-knowing.

Travis Erwin said...

What is so funny about a fart? Really?

It's another way to compete. It's tangible. Loudest smelliest, longest. Men like competition and being able to measure their aptitude.

Burps - See above, but burps also come with the added pleasure of taste. If it's good you get a second taste. If its bad you can say wow, I shouldn't have eaten that and laugh.

Just imagine if a woman was constantly "adjusting" her cootie.

You can't adjust what isn't there. In women's cases it's called plucking or digging, same as a man does for a wedgie.

Why don't my legs itch like that when the hair is growing...

I got no answer for that.

Why, oh why, must men be men?

Why is the sky blue? Or Jared from those Subway commercial annoying? Somethings are what they are.

Why is it wrong for a man to cry because his day went bad? Or because he just felt like it?

A man can cry when his favorite sports figure break a record, or retires, when he loses a really big fish, or at the birth of his children. Other than that his will be called a synonym of feline by all his friends.

Why does it make him "wimpy"? I think a real man will shed his tears when the hammer slams in to his finger. Big ol' galoots.

No this is when he practices his cussing and hammer flinging skills.

The Penis Fairy™ - Do you fear that one day the penis fairy will come and remove your peepee and this is why you must grip it in your sleep? I don't know if all men do this but all FOUR of my preTzel guys do it in their sleep. I swear it's a fear of the Penis Fairy. Like she's going to come back and say "Oooh, you're not holding your penis and you didn't 'adjust' today so I'm taking it back!" ZAP! Your penis is gone.

You just never know? Does the penis fairy have wings or does she roll around on two balls?

Men are wierd. And smelly.

And yet you marry us anyway.

Anonymous said...

Oh boy, I'm wearing capri's right now! Le's see, it's warm outside but not so warm that you want to expose your entire (pick one or two) pasty white, unshaven, too fat, too skinny...legs. Eyelash curlers, don't use them. My lashes curl up nicely with mascara thank you, one of my best features:)Sex in the City because it's just fun and we all wish we had girlfriends who would love us no matter how needy or desperate we are!

Anonymous said...

I know I wear capris, because I have spider veins. I know I don't like looking at them, so I don't want the public to see them either. The capris are cooler than pants too.

Stephen Parrish said...

I've never understood the multi-billion dollar make-up industry. If you're pretty, you don't need make-up, in fact make-up will probably detract from your looks. If you're ugly, no amount of make-up will make you pretty.

Shauna Roberts said...

I have no answers for you, Travis, but I did get a good laugh from this post and its comments.

WordVixen said...

Capris- You'd be surprised, but those 5" actually make a difference. And the best part is? You can wear the same pants for 3 of the four seasons instead of one or two.

Eyelash curlers- makes our eyes seem larger and appear more awake. Much like eyeliner. Men won't see why a woman seems prettier one day or another, but there's a difference.

S&TC- I don't get it either. I tried to watch it. I really tried. About 10 minutes in and I had to change the channel before I'd puke. Strange thing though. While I totally don't understand it, I've known women that vapid. Not that successful, but that vapid.

Unknown said...

I'll confess, I loved watching SatC because I love gossip and watching other people make dumb mistakes. And after running off the only "friend" I had who qualified for that level of entertainment...

(That said, the movie was a big old pile of shit. Way to make money off a dead series, HBO.)

I don't get eyelash curlers either. Mascara I can get behind, but curlers... Medieval torture device. Clearly.

Got nothing on capris either. I think they're silly. Mom loves 'em though.

Ello - Ellen Oh said...

Hey! I've missed your posts! This cracked me up so hard because oh yes I have come home buying lots of capri pants myself because they are definitely cooler than long pants. But I am definitely not an eylash curler gal. Those are torturous contraptions! They hurt! of course I neverknew what I was doing so that might be why they hurt.

And sorry - I loved Sex in the City. I know too many girls like this not to laugh hysterically at the way they are portrayed here.

But if this is it for what you don't get about women, Travis, you are a master of the female psyche!

WordVixen said...

Addition: I can't tell the difference between capris and crop pants. Yes. There's a difference. Oh, and peddle pushers. Although I know PPs hit the bottom of your knee, and I think capris are tapered, but I don't know the exact difference.

CamiKaos said...

I can only answer for the pants and the eyelash curler...

Capri's are just fancy high waters, or floods as we called them when i was a kid... but they are much more flattering than shorts in a lot of cases, and more comfortable... plus they are much cooler than a full length pair of pants.

and Eyelash curlers... seems silly I know but not everything a woman does to beautify herself is for a man. I love my eyelash curler... makes my lashes look a little LONGER and prettier to me... I like them that way.

and dear lord won't the sex and the city characters please grow spines and brains someday.

Clair D. said...

Maybe it's just me, but I see very few women who look good in capri pants, anyway. Since capris (or whatever) are often tapered, all it does is make a big arrow pointing UP to the larger areas that most women don't want to show off in shorts. Unless they're straight leg capris, they just accentuate the hips and thighs... seriously. Especially from... behind. (Sorry ladies.)

I don't wear 'em. I wear jeans all year unless it's over 90 or I'm driving more than two or three hours.

I couldn't put up with more a few minutes of Sex and the City. I have no interest in name brands, primping, or cities.

I don't understand why neither men or women think it's important to not look like something the cat horked up just because they're going to the grocery store (or whatever menial errand). But, I'm just as comfortable in clean jeans and combed hair as I am in ratty sweats and knotty hair. I'd also be a bit embarrassed being seen as a slob outside the home.


sex in the city women?...ho' two ways about it..
as for men getting me?...women in general ..ok...but the first time a man 'gets me'...he's going to be sorry, cause i'll drive him nuts...

Gregory Anderson said...

Travis, the answers to all of your questions are found somewhere in the Bible.

Probably in the form of a parable.

I'm sure capri pants are specifically mentioned in the Book of Leviticus.

And who are we to talk?

We sit all day in the top of a freakin' tree, in sub-freezing temperatures, hoping an innocent deer will come ambling by at some point so we can shoot it in the neck, when there is a perfectly heated supermarket with fresh meat right down the street from our perfectly heated homes.

Makes no sense, really.

I don't even understand me.

holly said...

capris _ um...not *jean* ones, but i do capris. they have to have a pattern.

eyelash curler - yeah i'm not onto that either.

SITC - um, no i have only watched that once, but i don't watch much tv.

i sheepishly admit i liked the one i saw. it must have been a good one? i'm quite picky...
they talked about naughty stuff. i liked it. crap. credibility just left, didn't it. dang.

Jenster said...

Capris are MUCH cooler than pants. Sheesh. Everyone knows that!

I must be less than a woman because I hate eyelash curlers (they scare me) and I never got on the Sex in the City bandwagon. Okay, first because we didn't have HBO, but also because the premise didn't appeal to me. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME??

Cheryl Wray said...

This is great!

As a woman, I have never "got" the eyelash curler thing either. My Mom used (and still uses) hers religiously, and so does my 16-yo daughter. I never have and don't see how it can do THAT much more for my eyes!!!

Anonymous said...

Jenn says:

My capris look nothing like that picture and if they did I would not tuck my shirt in. They are cooler than pants.

preTzel said...

It's another way to compete. It's tangible. Loudest smelliest, longest. Men like competition and being able to measure their aptitude.

I get that part of it Travis. What I don't get is why it is FUNNY. If a man blows is ass wide open and happens to spray five people with poo pellets it's HILARIOUS!! HAHAHA! Look! They got a turd on their face! HAHAHA! Nice aim dude! If a woman lets a small *poot* then she's disgusting, gross, manly, and so "unladylike".

Burps - See above, but burps also come with the added pleasure of taste. If it's good you get a second taste. If its bad you can say wow, I shouldn't have eaten that and laugh.

So what you're really saying then is farts and burps are ways men relive their childhood? Tell me, was it a man who invented the "pull my finger" game? I'm sure it was. Unless there was a brave woman a long time ago who decided that she would fart like a man. LOL!

You can't adjust what isn't there. In women's cases it's called plucking or digging, same as a man does for a wedgie.

Oh, women can adjust things down there Travis. It's not all plucking and picking you know. Try wearing a maxi pad sometime and getting your hair stuck in it. I bet you'll be "adjusting" something besides dangly bits then. (Oh, btw, I'm telling you this just to gross you out. Same thing I do to Mr. No need to stand on ceremony with ya, I've been reading your blog for quite a while now so you're like family. Aren't you pleased? LOLOL!)

The Penis Fairy™ has wings and a wand. Aren't you jealous. :)

Unknown said...

ok, I think I have my humor quota for the week. Great post Travis and everyone's answers had me cracking up...

I personally by capris because I'm so short while most of jeans have the frayed edges because they are so long that I step all over them, capri's fit me like regular pants so HA!

I never figured out how to the use the eye-lash curler. Physics was never my thang.

Sex and the city or in the city or whatever. If I met any of those women on the street They'd probably snub their nose at me and I'd tell them to shove there manolo blanik up their asses. But then again my idol is a female mixed martial arts fighter. Gina Carano. Now that's a woman.

Sizzle said...

I don't really think capri pants are that much cooler than regular pants. Maybe flip flops cool the feet rather than shoes but the same does not go for pants. Shorts? Yes! Capris? Nah.

And seriously what is up with that chicks pants? They are TOO HIGH UP on her waist!

Eye lash curlers are helpful for some but dangerous to others. When you curl the lash up it can make the eye appear larger.

Men don't understand the work that goes into "natural beauty." ;-)

Barbara Martin said...

Travis, very funny post and equally hilarious comments, although some gross phrases could have stayed out of the public domain.

No capri pants for me, because they aren't long enough. They turn into peddle pushers or bermuda shorts as my legs are longer than most women. 36" inseam without boots.

No eyelash curler for me. A con by the beauty experts so you'll think men will be attracted by curly eyelashes. Yeah, the experts must have been smokin' willow wands.

SITC: Never saw it, and I don't watch TV regularly. From what I've heard I wouldn't have liked it: not that sort.

Peeves? Why men have to check their zippers AFTER they leave the men's room? I've seen men come into an elevator and check their zippers.

Other than that, I like my big, smelly, hairy man at home.

Anonymous said...

Whew. You are going to get a lot of comments on this one. I agree all three are pretty silly. But, I do love Sex in the City. Not enough to see the movie though.

The Capris are not so attractive looking on most women and they are certainly not any cooler. The eye lash curlers actually damage your lashes. I avoid both.

I am sure your wife looks kicking in her capris though and you better let her know that.;)

the walking man said...

My question on the Capri pants has always been "are they cheaper by the same percentage as the missing material?"

What I don't get about men, and an increasing number of women is sports. Any kind of sports. I see the entertainment value, but the over the top adoration of a game? Naw that just doesn't compute with me. Yes I am married to a fan.

Debbielou said...

Capri Pants - Yes purely because of good old "Cellulite".

Eyelash Curlers- Yes I do have a pair - some where - I've used them once, poked myself in the eye and never used them again

Sex in the City - Never watched it

Josephine Damian said...

TE: RE: the "no one with a penis" comment on your guest blog, I guess that idiot never read "Memoirs of a Geisha" or "Midwives" - two books written by someone with a dick.


Melissa Amateis said...

LOL! Bubblewench has it right - capri pants are oddly cooler than a pair of jeans. Just those few missing inches somehow helps.

I don't curl my eyelashes - those things look like a torture device.

Never liked SITC. Thought it was ridiculous. Still do.

Travis Erwin said...

You never know when a post is going to take off. The capri thing baffled me and then I started thinking of other things that I didn't get and now this post is my all time leader as far as page views and is fast getting there for comments made as well. Thanks to those of you who've linked to it and spoke of it humor on your own blogs.

Barbara asked why men check their zippers AFTER leaving the restroom.

All I can say is that our penis's are kind of like our sun. We tend to revolve around the thing and we check it often. We do check it in the bathroom but then that niggling of doubt hits us and we double check.

And I still ain't buying that capris are cooler. I think it's in y'alls heads.

J. L. Krueger said...

OK Travis, you've moved up as humor writer! That was funny. Gotta agree with Charles...humans are weird regardless of sex. Pretzel's sasquatch theory was pretty good. It's the only Capri explanation that made least when talking denim!

Katrina said...

Wow! This post did command a lot of people to make a comment. Got a little out of hand a couple times--too raunchy for me--I learned things I didn't want to know.

Capri's are the fashion designers new way to sell pants using less material and charging more money for a shorter version of pants! Are they cooler--not to me--if the sun is blasting down on my bare skin--I'm hot.

I have my own questions on my blog about how men versus women in how they think. Pop over & tell me how you view this argument.

Anonymous said...

I don't care for Capri pants either. To date I have seen exactly one woman wearing them that looked good. The others, not so much. I don't curl my lashes, but the makeup gurus tell us we should. About men: why the attraction to sports if they aren't players?

Patti said...

people have the perception that i "get guys" but like you there are amny things i don't get. but back on subject let me say that i don't get capris either and i hated sex in the city. i was always like "really?...seriously?...come on women!" when ever my female counterparts would discuss it.

eyelash curlers I get...i'm not perfect...

Lana Gramlich said...

Being 4'11", regular jeans always need to be extremely shortened for me. When I buy capri pants, they're already like perfect, regular jeans for me; pre-made to my ankle length, no alterations necessary. Living in a hot, humid climate, however, I can say there's been times when I would've killed even just to remove an extra couple inches of sleeve or pant leg--sometimes every little bit really can help.
I'm w/you on eyelash curlers. I even bought one decades ago to see what all of the hubbub was about. I gave it a few tries, but it never seemed to do a damned thing for me.
I've never watched, read or otherwise had anything to do w/Sex & the City. It just seemed to vapid for me--even from a distance. Glad to hear I was right in spending my time on better pursuits.

Unknown said...

Wow! You've got a LOT of comment honey!

First of all, I would never, EVER wear capris. Don't know why either. But I guess I don't know why I WOULD wear them. Most women look good, or okay in them, but I'm like you. I want jeans, or shorts, but I do understand some women do not like to wear shorts, but don't want jeans, either.

Never used an eye lash curler. I was blessed with long eye lashes, and I do get comments on my eyes, but no one has ever said, "Why don't you curl your lashes?" My oldest sister does cause her's stick straight out. So I do understand why some women DO use them.

I watched Sex And The City a few times, but not enough to care about it. I don't want to see the movie, either. I'm with you. It made women look bad.

And I'm with you. I don't get most women either.

Mary said...

Hilarious post and comments!

I’ll avoid the Capri pant controversy. ;)

Using an eyelash curler ‘opens up’ the eyes, apparently. A better effect can be achieved with comb-on mascara.

I hear what you say about SATC. But the clothes and the girl camaraderie were GREAT! I loved it.

Terrie Farley Moran said...

Hi Travis,

Having read your entire post and the forty five comments that preceeded mine, I am laughing to hard to comment!

You did a great job on Criminal Brief.


Lisa said...

Wow! OK I'll jump in.

1. Capri pants are a little cooler than long pants and do offer the extra cover shorts don't, BUT in they only look good on a very specific body type that about 2% of the female population has.

2. Eyelash curler? Tried using them once or twice and almost blinded myself. I'm a dork that way.

3. Sex and the City. I confess -- almost sheepishly -- I was a huge fan. Would I like real people like that or want to live that way? No, so it's a little hard to explain. It appeals to those of us with romantic notions about living in NYC, for sure. Without question, the friendship between the four women and the hysterical discussions about bizarre sexual and dating scenarios was great. They each had very glamorous careers, they were attractive, they were always doing exciting big city things (which again, I think would get old real quick) and I think there was something exaggerated about each of the personalities that people who liked the series could relate to. Samantha was the bigger than life, confident, sexually free, independent woman. Charlotte was the hopeless romantic. Miranda was the smart, career driven one (in real life, men disliked her the most, but I identified most with her character), and Carrie was the SATC version of "everygirl". It was all over the top, but I confess, I just loved it.

Mary Ann said...

Capri pants? Because it's fun to change clothes for the summer and I don't like to wear shorts outside of the house or my back yard. My mama told me never to do that, for some reason. Forgot to ask her why.

Eyelash curlers? To curl the lashes, I suppose. hehe

SITC? Loved it. The clothes, the shoes, the relationships. Loved the quick conversation that went in unexpected directions. And I loved the ending. Most satisfying ending of any TV show, so much so that I won't watch the movie. Seriously, even the biggest ho faced her fears and let a good guy love her, loved him back. That's really what it was all about, running from love until you can't run any more.

Men? Dunno. Love 'em, tho.

Sherry said...

You're too funny!!

Okay, I don't get eyelash curlers either -- never bothered to use one...don't see myself as the masochist type by applying something like that so close to my eyes...

I don't get Sex In the City either -- it's certainly not MY life in any way, shape or form...not even in a "wow, that'd be the best life evah..." kind of way. Not my cuppa at all.

But capri pants?!? My god man...they are manna for women...especially those of us in our mature years, with things that go bump in the night happening to our thighs...they cover us beautifully and they are surprisingly cool even on a hot, humid day....

DrillerAA said...

Eye lash curlers always looked to me as if they were capable of doing more harm than good.

Have a great day Mr. Erwin.

Robin said...

I laughed out loud...I actually guffawed, and I abhor guffawing!

Too funny and thanks for sharing! And I agree, I'll wear capri's when I don't feel like shaving above my knees...buyer beware!

Eyelash curler, nope, never.

Men. Well, I love 'em! Strange creatures to be sure but I find them rather amusing. It's the "morning wood" that gets me. My spouse equivalent is proud of his each and every morning and somewhat amazed at his ability to produce this thing that he's quite sure no other man on the planet can. He insists that I admire it as well and praise him lavishly. "Yes honey, you are the man, um huh,".

Have a good fourth and keep us laughing...lovin' it!

Lyndi Lamont said...

ROFL, this is all so funny. I don't get capris and eyelash curling. (There's no point unless you've already got long lashes in which case why bother? They're alreay gorgeous.) I did enjoy Sex & the City, though, not for the shallow lifestyle and the fashions, but for the enduring friendships between the women.

Travis, my husband tears up all the time watching car races.

Clair, thanks for explaining why I look so awful in capris. I could never figure it out till now.

And preTzel, the penis fairy comment had me rolling on the floor.

Linda / Lyndi

Mary Witzl said...

I'm cracking up at this too and though I dearly want to read the other 52 comments, I must avoid the temptation or I'll be here all morning.

We don't have a hooked-up TV, so I cannot watch SITC. I saw one episode at a friend's house and that did not convince me that I'd been missing out. Bubblewench said it all for me. Eyelash curlers? I have never used them and don't get this AT ALL. Who gives a hoot? Now, French polishing fingernails -- that I'll go for. One's hands stand out.

The capri pants ARE cooler, and unlike high-waters pants, the fit is more tailored. But when we buy them, what we're buying is the hope that our butts will look as good in them as that model's. Not a hope in hell, sadly, but like the French nail polishing, it's the thought that counts.

Aaron said...

Sex and the City: I don't get it. (Apparently, you didn't either - and you're smarter for it.)

Penelope said...

1. I own no "pants". I wear capris everywhere except work and church.

By the way, there is no way your wife purchased capris like those in the picture, as nothing in the stores actually hits at the true waist right now. It makes me feel quite old.

2. It is a little detail oriented. I don't get it either, but I have one and use it on occasion.

3. The book was neither well written or entertaining. I read it in college (not for college-- in college). It's just as self involved as the television show.
Personally, I saw Sex in the City twice (and most of its original run I was living in an apartment with free HBO). As I said in my blog, it's like the seventies came back and bought expensive shoes.

Truthfully, I think it appeals more to twenty somethings than thirty somethings, as one grows out of the self centeredness quite quickly.

Although I will say this: Barishnakov is hot. I watched the last three or four episodes in syndication last year when I discovered he was on the show(better late than never).


Mom In Scrubs said...

Hey, wait!! I'm just getting here! I'm so behind on my blog rounds...

Capris: Because you can wear shoes with them that you shouldn't wear with shorts unless you want to look like a slut, AND because you aren't constantly worried if they are riding up in your crotch. There's nothing much more unsettling than seeing a woman with her shorts all up in her crotch and she either doesn't know or doesn't care. EEK! And yes, they are cooler than jeans.

Eyelash Curlers: I love mine. I use it every day, not for men...for ME. I look less tired with my eyelashes curled...wider eyes without surgery.

SATC? I watched about 5 minutes of it before I had to flip the channel. Between the fact that I can't and DON'T want to identify, and the fact that I can't stand Sarah Jessica Parker...well, it wasn't meant to be. Same with Desperate Housewives, The Bachelor, Wife Swap, etc.

Here's a question: JeepMan and I go to the same store to buy shorts and T-shirts. We buy the same brand. His are larger, and use more material than mine. WHY THE HELL ARE MINE ABOUT 25% MORE EXPENSIVE!!! Fleecing at its finest, I say.