Thursday, May 28, 2009

Rambling Again

I've been hard at work shaping my booty. Both the one attached to my body and the book.

I'm seventeen pounds down on the first and progressing well on second. I'm hoping to be back to querying the new and improved Plundered Booty by mid-summer. Blogging may be sporadic while I'm hard at work revising.

But I have had time to make a few recent observations.

The other night I was flipping through channels and nothing was on. So I ended up on one of those countdown shows. I can't even remember what the topic was. Most Shocking Celebrity Hair-Do's or World's Loosest Grip on Stardom. You know the ones I'm talking about.

What struck me odd was that here was this show, critiquing and ranking celebrities, and who is making the commentary and criticism? Celebrities no longer famous enough for anyone to care where they rank in such matters. Donny Bonaduce, Vanilla Ice, the girl who played Punky Brewster.

I think we need a show that has current celebrities pinpointing when it all went wrong for those faded stars. Johnny Depp could laugh and make a, What you talkin' about Willis? crack while a video played of Todd Bridges various mug shots. Angelina Jolie could offer a pun about Tonya Harding being the charter member of the thin ice club. Britney Spears could diss Shannon Doherty.

After that show ended I began watching World's Craziest Police Chases. Now I'm wondering. why ever video had some dude in a worn out four door sedan. I know criminals are stupid but are there really that many people who think they can outrun the fuzz in a '78 Buick Le Sabre?

My guess is they never show us the ones in Corvettes or Camaros. The ones that do get away at times. I thought it was reality television. Show them all. or how about the videos of the cops wrapping their car around a telephone poles?

Now those are videos they could trot out the former child stars and assorted B-listers. Leif Garret, MC Hammer, Gary Coleman and the other one time celebs that actually know a thing or two about brushes with the law.

25 comments:

David Cranmer said...

I despise those shows but somehow get snagged everytime... I like your idea.

powdergirl said...

That was so funny! Thanks for the laugh!

Bina said...

I watch that Police Chase show, too! I love it, cause you are right. Those people are so freaking stupid! I mean, even after the police throw the spikes down and their tires go flat, they keep going!!!! I always said if a cop car came up on me, the EASIEST thing to do is pull the hell over.

Morons.

And what is up with all these count down shows? I've been watching them, too, cause there is nothing else on.

Corey Schwartz said...

I can't tear myself away from my computer long enough to watch any bad TV.

Good luck with both your Booty (both of them :).

alex keto said...

17 pounds?!
You are the man. That's hard to do.

Mystery Robin said...

I LOVE the idea of current celebs offering critiques! Also, congrats on the 17 pounds. My tactic of willing the remaining baby weight off of me is not working. I need a new plan. It probably involves unpleasantries.

Charles Gramlich said...

that's a great Idea. I hate those idiot celebs dissing other people after some of the crap they've done.

Terrie Farley Moran said...

Hi Travis.

Congrats and much success on shaping booty 1 and booty 2.

I only got cable TV a few weeks ago and am still enamored of the re-runs of Murder She Wrote so I haven't seen any of these crazy shows. I guess I'm not missing much.

Terrie

the walking man said...

As a former mechanic tasked with repairing police cars I can say that there are too many poles that have been adorned with cars.

Almost as many as the top 3000 has been celebrities that had their 15 minutes.

laughingwolf said...

nicely done on both fronts, travis :)

Melanie Avila said...

Animal Planet always has good countdown shows -- like the Ten Most Amazing [fill in the blank]. I love celebrity BS but it's a refreshing break.

That said, I do like your alternative idea.

Congrats on dropping the poundage!

Clare2e said...

World's Loosest Grip on Stardom- Ha!

Bubblewench said...

congrats on the 17 and the writing! Nice to hear!

That was pretty freakin funny. I might actually watch one of THOSE shows, but the ones now. I'd rather turn it off.

sex scenes at starbucks said...

I'd watch anything with Johnny Depp. I even watched SpongeBob he was on, and it was just his voice.

Teresa said...

Congrats on losing all that weight. Good luck shopping out your booty. I hope it goes better this time. I really liked the chapters you had on Amazon for the contest.

I like your idea for the tv show. My husband always watches those shows and it would be nice if someone really cute and famous was on instead of an old has been or two.

G said...

You haven't TruTV in a while, have you?

All those funky celebs you named (Danny Bonduce, et al), currently work on a show called "World's Dumbest...."

C & D list celebs!

Boo Yah!

Cloudia said...

LOL!

Sam said...

Shocking celebrities and criminals in '78 Le Sabres - sounds like a great TV night, lol!

ddusty said...

First, kudos on the Lost Avoirdupois. Good heavens, either I spelled that right or you've got spell check turned off.

Second, thanks for a consistently entertaining blog. As a member of the TV-less, I am also a member of the blog hoppers. You guys are what the morning paper used to be: funny, provocative, human. Thanks. ;)

Chris Eldin said...

Me too about the booty thing.

I can't watch those shows too long, they drive me crazy. Though once in a while one of them will reel me in.

Good luck with revising!!! Remember, too thin is also not good.

tiggysmum70 said...

How about an 18 year old kid hitting a sheriff's car so hard that it basically pushes the sheriff's car across 2 lanes of traffic and off the road. Also, to have the EMT bring a neck brace and possible back board over the the sheriff while the teen is over @ his car shaking his head. I hear...... I am going to be so dead. Don't know if it will be my parents or the sheriff..... hmmmm I also hear him think.... well, I am done driving for at least 3-4 years.

SAD.

tiggysmum70 said...

BTW--- Congrats on dropping the pounds. I too am trying to drop some booty! Hard... very hard to do!

angel, jr. said...

I don't like those celebrity countdown shows, but I am also fascinated by them (and I end up watching them). Something about the E Channel is addictive.

Vodka Mom said...

17 POUNDS!!!!!! You have kicked your OWN ASS!


Good work.......

Barbara Martin said...

I laughed at your description of cop chases: maybe they could tape a crook in a Volkswagen Passat...they can get up to 220 KM/hr and with turbo...ZOOM.

As for TV I rarely watch it, and those times are at friends places or when I go to a bar.