Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Yacking Away

Alexander Graham Bell and the telephone.

Eli Whitney and the cotton gin.

Thomas Edison and the electric light bulb.

As a boy I often thought it would be cool to come up with some great invention. Something that benefited all of mankind. Something that I could patent and make a fortune off of the rest of my life.



Something like the barf bag.


This little gem caught my eye on my recent flight to San Antonio. It's a bag with a metal fastener at the top. There is one in every seat back on the plane. It never even occurred to me that somewhere down the line somebody invented the barf bag and patented it, until I spotted the number right there on it.

Maybe his patent simply improved on an already good idea. Maybe the barf bags of old didn't have that slick almost plastic quality that seals out moisture to prevent the contents from leaking out. Maybe there was no tie system at the top. Who knows, but I think it would make for a good character in a humor piece to have a man who's family fortunes are tied to barf bags.

One invention I do not get is the label on Coors Light bottles and cans. Have you seen it on their commercials. The mountains turn blue when the beer is cold enough to drink. Really have beer drinkers gotten so stupid they can't decide what's cold anymore? I've never been a fan of Coors beer, light or otherwise. it's all too bitter for my liking, but that whole blue mountain thing kind of bugs me. As does their fake football coach press conferences. Like most things in life, the best beers do not need to resort to stupid commercials or cheesy gimmicks to peddle their beer.

So in summary, I give two thumbs up to barf bags and two thumbs down to temperature sensitive labels. Of course emptying too many of those fancy labels could lead one to need a barf bag. Maybe every twelve pack should come with it's own patented collection bag. That would save many a frat house rug from future stains I'm sure.

23 comments:

Beth said...

HA!!!! The things that go through your mind on any given day.......

Being Beth said...

Eeeewwwww -- Frat house carpets. Bletch!

Barf bags, Coors Beer -- they definitely go together. You might be on to something.

You are such a nut, Travis. Like the way you process life and then share it with your readers. Looking forward to tomorrow's post.

Angie Ledbetter said...

Maybe the beer labels could stick together and form their own barf bag? There's a lovely and "green" idea. :)

Kristen Painter said...

Yeah, I think the "cold" labels are idiotic. Our whole society has been dumbed down!

theneatos said...

gimmicky beers make me wanna yack ... I think you are on to something here!

Janna Qualman said...

Good to know! RoFL

writtenwyrdd said...

And people make LOTS of money from strange things like that, too. Like the sleeves for paper coffee cups, or the paper clip, or zippers.

Jenn Jilks said...

It is very entertaining. Our MTM fearless leader leaves off book reviews for something different: beer and barf bag reviews. I knew we could count on you, Travis! Keep up the good work.

Corey Schwartz said...

Ha! We know the guy who made the little plastic thing that goes in the pizza to keep the box lid from smushing the pie on deliveries. Worth millions!

Melissa Marsh said...

You're right - that would make an awesome character. I say run with the idea!

Melanie Avila said...

The cans turn blue? Huh, the things I miss living here.

bookbabie said...

As a non-beer drinker I think the only good thing about a can of beer would be a magic label, don't hurt me;)

Annie said...

LOL and how many beers had you had before writing this post? LOL!

David Cranmer said...

Very interesting. My mind travels the same avenues.

Cloudia said...

" Like most things in life, the best beers do not need to resort to stupid commercials or cheesy gimmicks to peddle their beer."

Yeah! So what DO ya drink, Lonestar?

We just got our PRIMO Beer back, and have lots of micro brews here in the islands. aloha

Cheryl Wray said...

LOL That is great!!! (And I agree with you about the beer labels...of course, I'm not a beer drinker.)

yellowdog granny said...

i think the person that invented gift bags is a fecking genius...

the walking man said...

You're in Texas right? Home of the long horns and big beef country right? Invent the thing that catches and recycles cow farts and you'll have benefited all mankind.

Brother I hate to admit it to a true beer hound but I never liked the stuff, no I didn't particularly care for wine either...Bourbon needs no fancy labels.

sybil law said...

Good idea for the barf bags with the beer!!!
Coors Light is gross. Period. Unless you drink many of them. Haha

Skeeter said...

Oh yeah!!! Ain't it the truth. Nothing like a good barf bag when ya need one, but labels that say beer is cold is something amazing. I'd rather be able to know just how long it's been since thoze suds left the brewery.

Best wishes,

Skeeter

pattinase (abbott) said...

I want someone to invent the eating equivalent to a smoking patch. Come on, Travis. You can do it.

laughingwolf said...

lol... how about a velcro seal on that barf bag? :O

Bina said...

ya know, I always wonder HOW people come up with these ideas. I mean, what were they doing, or what caused them to get this idea? And then they make money????

And label sensitive beer? Must be for the "cool" factor and not the actual temp. But no matter what they put on their lable, I'll never drink it!