Wednesday, September 23, 2009

I'll Take Cheese For $300 Alex

If you have read my blog for very long you already know I have some unique eating habits. Given that "lettuce is the Devil" my fast food orders require special handling. Whether it be a hamburger or a taco I make certain my meal is not tainted by any of the green leafy poison.

Having said that, it shouldn't come as a surprise to any of you that just as often as not my order gets screwed up. And I'm not proud of the fact, but I've thrown more than one hissy fit upon finding "The Devil" cuddling up with my meat. And yes, I have cursed the very profession of fast food worker as being the least intelligent group of humans on earth.

I'm blogging here today as a form of confession and to repent for the error of my ways. For I have been shown the light. Today, I witnessed a true lack of intelligence and it came from the other side of the counter.

There I was at Wienerschnitzel, waiting on my two corndogs when in walks three men. These men were well dressed and appeared normal in every way. The first stepped up to the counter and ordered without problem.

The second squinted up at at the menu board before asking of this gem of a question ... "Uh could you tell me, "What is the difference between the chili dog and the chili cheese dog?"

Without missing a beat, the wiener peddling employee answered, "That would be cheese, sir."

That's when I lost it. I didn't really mean to laugh but come on. Chili dog/ chili cheese dog. Is it really hard to cipher out the difference?

And the best part? After eavesdropping when the group of men sat to eat. I learned they were engineers for the railroad. Now I know a couple of engineers and I'm proud to say they are a heck of a lot sharper than chili dog boy, so in the future I'll do my best not to stereotype anyone based on their occupation.

26 comments:

Gary Corby said...

I can help you with something almost as a dumb. Imagine 3 actuaries, 1 statistician, 1 mathematician and 2 maths teachers adding the bill at a restaurant. And unable to get it right.

I was the mathematician.

the walking man said...

Times are tough now that rocket scientists are having to find careers at wiener house of dog.

Being Beth said...

Being married to an engineer, I can tell you, these people can't do "simple." Engineers have the innate ability to take something simple and make it hard. They can only do something if it's hard. And forget about ever finishing the last 10% of a project -- finishing up would be simple, and as I said, they don't do simple.

As for fast food workers, I'd just be happy if they actually spoke English.

Monnik said...

Ha! That's funny. It's also why I couldn't work in any customer service related job.

I wouldn't have been able to supress the inner smartass if someone had asked me the difference between a chili dog and a chili cheese dog.

Eric said...

There is something to be said for automation at the fast food restaurant. In this day and age, can't we get a robot to put things together, since they'd do only what they were told to do? No thinking involved.

Your story about the engineers doesn't surprise me however. When I was in military intel in the Army (yes, it is an oxymoron), I met plenty of "smart" soldiers that lacked the common sense God gave a grasshopper. Evidently, if you are given the brains to be a genius, something's gotta give on the other end of the spectrum. Nice post, Travis.

Patti said...

i grew up on "wienie world" and those chili-cheese dogs. love that place. ~drool~

Teresa said...

That is too funny! But I think the person answering should have said, "That would be the cheese and 20 cents" (or however much difference there is in the price).

PS. I really, really enjoy your rants about "devil lettuce."

tricia said...

"Lettuce is the Devil". I thought it was cilantro. ;)

Thanks for the laugh.

Bee said...

I think that Being Beth's theory is probably the correct one. And it's not because my real name is Beth!

Do you dislike lots of green veg, or just lettuce? Personally, I love lettuce, but not when it has gotten all slimy next to a hot piece of meat.

LucieP said...

well even though you don't like lettuce, knowing the difference between the chili cheese dog and chili dog *somehow* redeems you! :)~

Avery DeBow said...

Lettuce is the actual devil? Not just one of the higher echelon minions? Wow. And here I thought organ meats were the devil. Then again, I guess you don't go opening a hamburger to find a slab of liver slapped on there.

Kristen Painter said...

With the way you hate vegetables, I imagine your lower gi must hate you right back.

Miriam S.Forster said...

As a coffee shop worker, I have this kind of conversation EVERY SINGLE DAY. My favorite kind of conversation is this one:

CUSTOMER: I'd like a latte.

ME: What size would you like?

CUSTOMER: A latte.

ME: Okay, a latte, what size?

CUSTOMER: Oh, small.

*customer is politely rung up and given their drink*

CUSTOMER: Hey, I wanted this iced!


Sadly, this sort of thing happens all the time. :)

Corey Schwartz said...

Ha, ha. So funny!

Don't feel bad. I would have laughed out loud too!

lyzzydee said...

Classic!!!

G said...

My dad was much the same way.

A mathematician par excellance, he couldn't do a microwave to save his life.

alex keto said...

Travis,
Here's a fast food joint with a spin: bikini clad baristas at the "Grab n' Go" espresso stand in Everett Washington.
Apparently, the girls were putting on quite a show which attracted the attention of the local cops who had nothing better to do I suppose.
The owner of the stand is outraged over the fact charges are being pressed and defended his gals saying, "Every girl that works for us knows that our policy states clearly, acceptable attire for work. They must cover their bottoms and use pasties, if necessary."
I like the "if necessary" qualifier.

Cloudia said...

Today you grew a little...



Aloha, Friend!

Comfort Spiral

debra said...

So once I was at a place that was called the Beer Garden. In walks a fellow and asks where are the flowers.
Really. I should have said that they were next to the cheese.

Angie Ledbetter said...

I've always wanted to be a wiener peddler. The customer interaction would be worth wearing the shiny knitty uniform.

sybil law said...

Wow.
Remind me not to ride a train anytime soon!

grace said...

I always have trouble answering those kinds of questions without letting "wow are you an idiot?" creep into my voice.

Lana Gramlich said...

BWAH ha! I would have been laughing, too.

Bubblewench said...

I would have died laughing too.

pattinase (abbott) said...

Having worked in the food industry, I can tell you that's not the strangest question I've heard.

Deanna said...

Good one. It reminds me of the time when we were driving down the road listening to oldies and she turned to me and said "so do antique cars playing only oldies?" But then she was a child, not an engineer.