Friday, January 8, 2010

Buckets, Hobos, Lesbians, and Nosepicker Boots ... Oh My

Time for another random spilling of the the flotsam and jetsam littering the surf of my brain. Here are the things that floated to the top.

Bucket List

This term has been used a lot since the movie and like everyone else I have my list of things I'd like to experience before I kick the bucket, but you might be surprised to hear having one of my novels published is not one of them. Don't get me wrong, I want to be a published novelist so bad I'd eat my weight in lettuce to make it happen, but way I see it a bucket list is something you want to do once. I want to write for the rest of my life and I will do so even if no one ever decides my stories are worth paying for. No being an author is one of my major life goals. it is not something to scratch off of a list.

Would you rather ...

My 7 year old son, Z, has become enamored with the game Would you rather. If you are not familiar you ask a question of two scary, gross or otherwise horrifying scenarios to see which they would choose in a matter of life or death. It's funny to hear the things that he thinks are horrible.
Z's ultimate horror seems to be going shopping to TJ Maxx with his mother which has supplanted licking peanut butter from a hobo's foot as the worse thing that can happen to a kid.


I understand having an undeniable attraction to women. Really I do, but what confuses me are lesbians that are attracted to women that for all the world look exactly like men. Granted I realize that beneath the trucker hat, she-mullet, or wallet chain laden jeans the object of their affection is equipped differently than a man but I still don't get it. Especially when the world is full of beautiful, feminine lesbians.

Google Keywords

By percentage of people that come to my blog via a google search in the last week, here was what they were looking for

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19.05%travis erwin
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7.14%travis erwin blog
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4.76%making maggots
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4.76%meaty christmas
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2.38%pissing on his
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2.38%you haters say saint nick ain't real. so tonight i'm going to take photographs of santa while he's havin his midnight meal.
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2.38%do you think pink underwear is hot on guys
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2.38%travis you blog
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2.38%one word a day
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2.38%have a very meaty christmas
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2.38%ken goddard .lit
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2.38%cessie nobody owens
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2.38%my girlfriend knows everything
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2.38%high heel nosepicker boots for women
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2.38%one word a day blog
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2.38%mallrats handshake butt
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2.38%i am the fattest girl in our office and the boss loves fat girls so he said to me one day can i give you a lift home so i went and he
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2.38%travis post
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2.38%one word of appreciation
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2.38%man vs food burger from hell
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2.38%travis victory or death letter
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2.38%travis irwin one rung at a time
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2.38%calvin and hobbs rednecks
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2.38%pink underwear blogspot
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2.38%why william barret travis went to war with santa anna
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2.38%quote by cynthia ann parker
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2.38%travis irwin blog
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2.38%meaning of stink palm

I don't know about y'all but now I'm curious exactly what happened to that fat girl, as well as the age old question, Do you think pink underwear is hot on guys?


Melanie Avila said...

Ooh, I haven't been to your blog in a bit (I read on Google Reader) and I like the header picture!

My college friend's brother published a book series (and I think games) called Would You Rather? I don't think they invented the concept, but they did get them published.

Laurie said...

I just happened to check the search terms on my blog counter and the one that got me was "sex with horse." The country it came from was Saudi Arabia.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Ooooo, I loves me the butches! The butcher the better, baby! The attraction is precisely because they are butch WOMEN. If I walk behind some hot butch on the sidewalk who turns around and who I then discover is a guy, I immediately lose all interest -- meh, who cares about butchness if there's no woman attached to it? Not me! That may or may not (I suspect) clarify butch mystique for you, Travis!

Bina said...

OH. MY. GOD. I have missed you! I needed a good laugh today. 1) I know how much you hate green stuff, so eating your weight in lettuce is a biggie 2) How do you know how people found your blog? How do you know what they searched for?

I'm guessing, if the right guy is wearing them, pink under could possibly look good on a guy, but still not really sure.

Amen to the Lesbian question! I've always wondered that!

Junosmom said...

Blog hits - try writing about how big the modern store-bought chicken breasts are. You'd be amazed at your stats.

Lana Gramlich said...

Aren't kids just hysterical? If only they could keep that innocence...
Thanks for sharing some of your keywords--those are always a hoot!

Crystal Posey said...

Wow. Excellent points. I love this post.

Corrie Howe said...

Google search seems to be for the people who know part of the name of my blog, but I have a few unusual searches..."My idiot parents at a parent/teacher confernece." and "heart attack."

the walking man said...

A lesbian I know explained how she love the dick, it is everything else attached to it she couldn't stand. Meaning even a butch lesbian does not have the thought process and attitude of a man.

Being Beth said...

I'm still playing that "Would You Rather" game, but now it's from a parental view with questions along these lines --
Would you rather clean up your room in the next hour or be grounded? Would you rather drop that attitude or lose driving privileges? OH, the power of the game is intoxicating!!!

Charles Gramlich said...

I did a little "would you rather" with Josh when he was young. That shopping trip to T. J. Maxx with a woman of any kind makes me shudder.

jjdebenedictis said...

Oh, hey, I'm with Melanie Avila; I like your new header picture!

LOL to Laurie's Saudi Arabian searcher.

sybil law said...

Stink palm kinda had me laughing!
I need to google the fat girl question. I really DO want to know!!!
Also, I hear ya on the lesbians. Don't get it at all.

preTzel said...

LOL! I laughed at every post. Even the bucket list because you said you would eat your weight in lettuce to be published. :) I have a high school friend who was recently published. I didn't know she wrote. I'm jealous. Big time.

"And so our stories go..." said...

Thanks, as usual, for a good laugh! By the word, I'm happy to provide the lettuce, if you're willing to eat up. Just say the word. ;-)


Hilary said...

Your son's "would you rather" options cracked me up.

Of course I had to go check my own search words stats and was stunned to find the following.

"as angelica arrived at the creek hot, she leant down and dipped cool water on her face, and it dripped down and wet her tee shirt, running down her chest and giving her goosebumps"

I have no idea why it landed them on MY blog.. my January archives to be exact. I could understand if it was your blog.. but mine? ;)

Lexi said...

LOL! Thanks for a laugh!

WordVixen said...

A. I had to google nosepicker boots after you posted that list (turns out they're just those awesome pointy toe boots).

B. Pink underwear isn't sexy on ANYONE.

writtenwyrdd said...

As for me, I now MUST google "meaning of stink palm" and "nosepicker boots" because enquiring minds want to know.

Bubblewench said...

I. AM. IN. SHOCK. You said you'd eat lettuce.. HOLY CRAP!