Thursday, October 14, 2010

Rocky Goes Down For The Count

I plan to leave the contest from yesterday's post open until at least Sunday night. so guess away. Author #7 has everyone stumped so far. I promise he is a very well known author.

I've been blogging a good long while now and I love sharing stories with y'all but I also tend to be an oral storyteller. The combination of those facts sometimes leads me to forget if I've written up a particular story or only told it to friends over a beer or three. It is possible I've already blogged this, but today while reading Hilary's blog I was reminded of a story about a raccoon. Unlike Hilary's post my tale is sort of macabre. But this October and what better time to share a dark twisted tale.

Peaches Ain't Free

August is no time to be pregnant. At least it wasn't for my wife. Never a fan of the heat, she was having a hell of a time this particular August. Two months. That's how long she had until our second child was slated to arrive, but to Jennifer it might as well have been two years. Add in the fact she spent every day trying to keep up with a twenty-two month old and Jennifer was never in the chipperest of moods when I arrived home from work.

But this particular day she wasn't merely tired, frazzled and hot. She was worried, gripped with fear.

"That raccoon was back today. And this time he didn't run when i yelled at him. Tarek was in his baby pool and that coon came right up and got a drink while he was in there. So I snatched him up and we spent the rest of the day inside."

Generally speaking raccoons are nocturnal. For one to venture out into the bright hot August sun something had to be wrong. "Did it look sick?" I asked.

Jennifer nodded. "It was missing a bunch of fur and it limped like it could barley walk."

"Probably has rabies," I said. "I'll see if I can lure it out from under the house and shoot it with my .22."

So i got a can of peaches and sat them where I could hide but still have a good clear shot.

I didn't have to wait long before out crawled the mangiest looking coon I'd ever seen.

I took aim ... and pow!

The wounded raccoon scurried off toward the woods behind out house. The sick animal did not go far before the life seeped out of it. I picked up the peaches and went to go put my gun away.

I no more than walked into the living room when Jennifer began sobbing uncontrollably. I tried to decipher her wails but couldn't. finally she pointed out the window. There not a few feet from where I'd shot the big nasty looking raccoon was four cute and cuddly fur balls. Baby raccoons. Obviously looking for their mother.

That raccoon wasn't sick. It was mangy because it just had babies," my wife cried. "And I told you to get rid of it. What if someone looked at me with my swollen ankles and big belly and thought I was sick?"

I tired to reason with her but distraught pregnant women are not the most rationale of people and in her eyes we were momma killers. Which I guess technically we were, but we didn't set out to orphanize those critters. We thought we were putting a sick animal out of its misery and protecting our son who spent a lot fo time outside where this raccoon kept showing up.

Our nephew came over and crawled under the house and eventually caught all of the babies which we took to a local vet. Zalen the child Jennifer was pregnant with will turn eight a week from now and I can't help but wonder of those four baby raccoons turned out be half as ornery as he is.


Cloudia said...

You are a born oral story teller!

Warm Aloha from Waikiki

Comfort Spiral

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Oh, the Judas kiss of peaches. Poor momma raccoon.

Old Kitty said...

Oh poor mum raccoon. I hope the baby raccoons are ok now and I hope mum raccoons get to fend for themselves far far far far far away from humans.

Glad to hear that Jennifer and babies are ok!! Take care

the walking man said...

Coulda used a bigger caliber gun. Look we have taken habitat and made it our own and if there is going to be a showdown between a con and me the coon loses. Sorry but that just is the way it is,

Mary Witzl said...

What a great story -- you had me from the very first paragraph.

I felt like giving your wife a hug, too. Not just because I love raccoons too (but I'd have been tempted to put that mangy one out of its misery too, for just the reasons you described), but because I also had a toddler to look after when I was pregnant with our second kid. My due date was August 5, in the hottest summer on record in Japan, and we didn't have air conditioning. By the time July rolled around, I could burst into tears at the drop of a hat. And almost wished somebody would come along and put me out of my misery.

Hilary said...

Nooo!.. well you know how dearly I love raccoons. Each and every one of the orphans I've had the pleasure to know have similar reasons for their coming into our lives.

Your poor wife. I would have probably been concerned too but I know that city raccoons learn quickly that people rarely pose a threat, so they become pretty bold. Drinking water.. a rabid animal would have been fearful of the pool.

Thanks for sharing this story.

Charles Gramlich said...

We foudn out a couple of years ago that nursing mother coons will definitely come in the daytime to find food. Ravenous things they are.

Lana Gramlich said...

We get a mangy-looking daytime raccoon around here in the summer, too. I usually post pix or video of it on my blog & everyone starts shouting "rabies." I know better, though. This is "mama raccoon." She's been around for a couple of years now (& we've enjoyed seeing her kits every year, too.)
Sometimes people are just too eager to play the "rabies" card. I'm sorry you learned the hard way. *hug*

DrillerAA09 said...

My current target of choice is ferrel cats. Just sayin', "what has to be done, has to be done."

sybil law said...

That makes ME want to cry, and I am not pregnant!
If I am, holy shit...

Jenn Jilks said...

Oh, my. We called our raccoon 'Butch'. Incredibly non-nocturnal, they would come around at dinner time. Eventually, we realized Butch was Beatrice, but never really stuck to that name.

Thought you'd like my pirate ship!

Barrie said...

I love how your family and racoon's are now woven forever!

Rick said...

Well told, Travis! And what a creepy story...