... and on my birthday to boot. Here's how it went down.
There I was, Tuesday night toiling away in heated negations with a cars salesman on the evening of my birthday. Not to purchase myself a new vehicle butt o trade off my wife's Dodge Caliber so she could have a new, larger ride.
It is at this point, I should point out that three years ago, when we acquired the Dodge Caliber I tried to persuade my wife to buy a minivan. But no, she didn't want to be a mini-van mom. She had no problem embracing the fact she was a soccer mom and yet she shunned the obligatory minivan than comes with said title.
Against my better judgment I let her talk me into buying a car too small for a family with two GROWING boys. I'm not a small fella by any means so I knew the boys would run out of leg room soon. And they did.
And my wife decided she wanted a minivan. She could have saved us some money and me a lot of heart ache and grief had she succumbed three years ago but I'm not the kind of husband that would ever say I told you so. No, I'm the kind of husband that BLOGS ... I told you so.
So for the last six weeks we have been on the hunt for a good used minivan with low mileage and all the bells and whistles my wife and kids craved.
And as luck would have it she found it on my birthday.
Dealing with car salesman on your birthday is about as much fun as as swimming in saltwater the day after getting circumcised. I'm speculating here folks but one can safely assume such a dip would be a painful experience.
So there I am, on my birthday, feeling like a Jewish kid in the Dead Sea. After hours of back and forth we strike a deal, but wait there is a snag. The Carfax shows a safety recall that has not been performed. We make arraignment with them to do something to make the automatic sliding doors safety compliant and all is well except they do not want us to put any more miles on our trade-in and our newly purchased mini-van will not be ready until the next day.
They offer my wife a Toyota Corolla as a loaner. She tells them no. She tells them, "I thought this was a Dodge dealership. You should give me a Dodge. And something cool she added. Like a Charger."
Ten minutes later she pulls away behind the wheel of this ...
Following behind her, in her Candy Apple Red Hemi-powered Charger this thought occurred to me.
My wife was a cheater. For one night she was ducking away from her mini van driving soccer mom status and stepping out on the town with a sports car. It was the equivalent of a guy scheduled to get married on Saturday morning hiring a high priced hook for Friday night.
But hell, I'd be stupid to turn by back on an opportunity at hand, so I had a little fun myself. Psst, don't tell the Dodge Dealership but those Chargers will do better 140mph with the slightest of effort.
Tomorrow while the kids are sitting in the back of the mini van watching Toy Story 3 on the DVD my wife will be behind the wheel remembering the thrill of her one night stand.