In A Perfect World

Here we are on Superbowl Sunday and while I'm as big a football fan as they come I can't help but think we over glorify athletes. Sure they possess rare talents and have worked hard to reach the pentacle of their profession, but so have others groups of people. Like authors for example.


I can't help but think of a perfect world where every other commercial featured a writer making big money for endorsing certain products.


The possibilities are endless.


Stephanie Meyer's face could stare adoringly into the camera and say, "You fell in love with Edward and his sparkling skin, now you too can shine is the sun, with this amazing apparatus." 

Stephen King or Chistopher Moore could loquaciously wax on about the smooth taste of Crown Royal or the suave sexiness of Amaretto and then at the end of the commercial say with a crooked grin,"What you think I come up with all that crap stone cold sober?"  



I can see it now ... stone expert Stephen Parrish recommending the perfect jeweler or diamond? Heck, he's such a diverse mastermind he can even tell you what wine to pour before asking your gal to marry you.














And who better to endorse really sharp knives than the wickedly talented Val Conrad?















John Grisham could hawk prepaid legal.



And I'd love to see Nicholas Sparks who seems to give his female readers exactly what they want, peddling condoms, ribbed for her pleasure of course.

And this guy ..

Mr. Mark Terry would be perfect (for several reasons) to extol the smooth shave of Gillette razors. 

Search Amazon.com for mark terry











So y'all tell me. What authors do you think would make perfect pitch men, and what would they sell?