Thursday, March 3, 2011

Coincidence or Conspiracy -- You Be The Judge

I've been writing a long time now. A solid decade of storytelling with publication in mind. There have been a few successes along the way but I've sure as heck found more doors closed than open when  it comes to getting my stories out into the world and the reading public.

I've been a heathen even longer. I put a solid 25 years absolutely snubbing my nose at all organized religion.

Slowly, but surely the Catholic Church reeled me in and a year and half ago I enrolled in RCIA classes. I've been in the learning process and at Easter vigil this year I will be baptized and come into the church as a full communion taking Catholic.

If you read my last post you know I shared other good news that my short story -- turned novel -- turned back into short story/novella was now available on both nook and Kindle as part of the fabulous anthology titled, Deadly By the Dozen :12 Short Stories of Murder and Mayhem.

The title of my story is Plundered Booty.

So after years of searching, I find both religion and widespread publication at nearly the same point in time. 

Then today I see this headline in the USA Today newspaper.

Bishops boot 'booty' from revised Bible

That's right folks, the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops has made the determination that a new translation of the Catholic bible is in order. Booty has been replaced by the term "spoils of war" when the New American Bible, the English-language Catholic Bible, comes out on Ash Wednesday, March 9. 

Call me crazy, but I do not think my story about cars, love, lust, Caribbean dreams and rum would sound nearly as good if titled, Plundered Spoils of War. Add I say it's good to have words like booty and virgin in the bible. The are the liturgical equivalent of a teacher saying Uranus while lecturing about the solar system. They get everyone in earshot attention. 

Now I'm in no way comparing the story I created about a good Ol' boy from Red Dirt, Oklahoma to scripture, but I do find it strange that booty is getting booted from the bible the same time my booty is actually occupying a pew.

Perhaps I'll be required to say a few Hail Mary's and Our Father's as penance for using a forbidden word in my title. Perhaps but this situation has given me an idea for the title of my work in progress. A story about a woman who believes sex is ruining her life. Not sex of her own, She isn't having it, but her senior citizen of a mother is about to get kicked out the retirement village for carrying on too load with Harold, Her 15 yo son is dying for his first taste and seems willing to break every house rule to get it. her husband is trifling with another woman and even the barn cats are keeping her up by fornicating under her bedroom window at night.

So what name could I choose for such a book that could possible offend, Catholic Church? Maybe, Out Of the Habit or She Ain't Getting None. I should be okay with either as long as I don't spell it nun.


sybil law said...

"Booty" is in the bible?! Get the fuck out. Seriously.

Cloudia said...



is God's nickname, Trav!

Aloha from Waikiki

Comfort Spiral



Debra She Who Seeks said...

Very droll, Travis!

Old Kitty said...

Booty is in the Oxford English Dictionary and must be re-instated at all costs. Amen.

p.s. Congrats with your story publication!!!

take care

the walking man said...

Will they now recall every version of the Douay Bible and redact the word booty out of them?

Name your story something like A confession of Missed Communion

G said...

Why doesn't this surprise me?

It's simply yet another cleansing of a book that has been continuely cleansed for the past 600 years or so.

Leah J. Utas said...

Things converge for a reason, Travis. Your dovetailing is an interesting one.

Charles Gramlich said...

Booty has so many great connotations. A heckuva word, I would say.

Charles Gramlich said...

It just appeared magically on my Kindle! :)

Donna Weaver said...

Oh, my goodness, Travis. You made me smile.

And the word I had to type to post this is 'godlest'. Hmmm