Saturday, March 12, 2011


The birds are chirping. The tulips are blooming. The wife and kids are out of school. That's right folks it is spring break time here in the Texas Panhandle so while I am away from the computer spending time with my beloved and the fruit of our loins please enjoy these posts you may have missed the first time around.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

A Little Stinker

When I first met my wife she was a senior in high school and living with her parents. I was a cradle robbing twenty-year old college student. Also living with her parents was her older sister who had a two year old son. Yes, the same nephew who at 16 now stands several inches above six foot and hovers around three hundred pounds. The one I mentioned in a previous post about high school football.

So in the early days of our dating Corndog (I gave him that name when he was about four because he had a shaved head that reminded me of a corndog) was around a lot. And he was a funny kid, And since his Dad was absent I took it upon myself to introduce him to the finer aspects of masculine culture. Things like pro wrestling, fishing, making farting noises with your arm pits, and the joys of rubber band wars. The list could go on but I'll stop there.

He was about four or five one day when it was just me and him in the living room. My wife's parents were away as was her sister so Jennifer and I were baby sitting.

I felt a bit of pressure building in my guts so like a good future uncle, I called him over to me and instructed him to pull my finger. His eyes widened at the boisterous eruption.

"Do it again. Do it again." He squealed.

I obliged him for the sake of entertainment, and because I'd probably eaten at Taco Bell or some other such intestinal stimulating fast food joint.

He was in awe at my second acoustical outburst. After a few seconds he stuck out a tiny little finger and said, "Do it to me."

I pulled his finger at which point he grabbed onto the edge of the table and commenced to grimacing and groaning.

This is when Jennifer walked back into the room. She took one look at little Corndog and said, "What is he doing?"

"Trying to fart," I answered.

"No he's not," She said.

And in a very rough and strained voice Corndog piped in, "Yes I am." The the tiniest of pops came out and he smiled proudly.

My future wife simply shook her head and walked away.

I held my hand up and Corndog gave me a high five. It was a great moment that every uncle and nephew should share.


Hilary said...

Too cute.. every kid should have such an uncle.

Jenn Jilks said...

Tulips? Wow. I guess spring is working its way up the continent. Not here yet.
Happy spring!

Old Kitty said...

I hope the fruits of your loins are having a great spring break! LOL!!!

You are a very naughty uncle but a great farter! LOL!!! Lucky Corndog - learning from The Best!! Take care

the walking man said...

Wait...doesn't everything at Taco Bell have vegetables on it? That may explain your double whammy. Hope you taught your own kids the same thing...I mean they need to bond with dad too.

Anonymous said...

Men and boys... how they love their farting abilities... LOL

Congrats on POTW!


Out on the prairie said...

Ahh some of the better moments in life.

Cricket said...

Funny story. Belated congratulations on your potw.

Word veri: fries. Oy, now I'm all hungry.