School Daze

School starts tomorrow in many places. My youngest still attends the private elementary where my wife teaches started last Wednesday. Here is a shot of him look oh-so-excited.

My oldest begins anew tomorrow morning. Not only is he making the leap from private school to public but he is also moving up to the ever dreaded ... Middle School.

No, my son will not be attending the middle school they named after me here in Amarillo. Okay fine, so it's namesake is actually William B Travis formerly of the Alamo but still it's a cool name. ;)


My son isn't fully aware of it ... but he is leaving behind bathroom stalls with doors on them and nice soft toilet paper for a world where a boy can;t take a dump in private and is forced to wipe with funky little squares of tissue paper that are too flimsy to remove poop but tough enough to chap your ass.

he is going from class sizes of fifteen and halls where everyone knew his name and his mom was right downstairs to jam packed hallways full of kids that think the only way to make themselves look good is to make the next guy look bad. Tarek is a big kid. A strong kid. So I'm not worried about him physically in any way but I fear that is too-trusting nature and every-one-is-my-friend/or-soon -will-be mentality will take a hit.

But it's gotta come sometime and what is middle school for if not for teaching painful life lesson and unabashed humility?

All this school thought has me recalling my school days and the stuff I thought was dumb then and in retrospect ... I still find asinine.

Like door-less stalls in the boys room. Come on it is school not prison. And how much trouble is a kid gonna get into behind a stall door that he isn't going to find someplace else anyway? Life is full of intrusions and every parent will tell you there are times when that brief respite atop the porcelain throne is the only peace and quiet to be found. Let kids shit in private.

And how many of you remember those pathetic paper straw they used to make you use in school. I'm pretty sure they were created from the same crappy (pun intended) paper as the toilet paper. Halfway through your carton of milk the damn things collapsed and clogged up like a fat man's arteries.

And the soap? Remember that white chunk of calcified perfume? you had to turn a little handle which ground up the block of soap and dribbled white powder into your hand. It was more of a workout to get a handful of soap than it was to climb that frigging rope in PE. And the stuff never produced any lather and yet you could skin a dead skunk and still smell the scent on your hand afterward.

And speaking of powder, remember the titty pink puke powder they used to spread atop the pile anytime some poor kid vomited int he hall. you could smell the stuff three wings over and why did they just sprinkle he stuff atop the upchuck rather than cleaning up the mess right away. I can recall times when the pile of powder topped puke sat there for hours before it was removed. WHY?

And here in the Texas panhandle we used to have tornado drills. Which consisted of all the classes gathering in the hall or a bathroom and bending forward so that our faces were between our legs.

If I'm going to die in a whirlwind of flying debris Id just as soon my last sight not be my own hairy ass. Of course in those days my backside was still follicly free but you get my drift.

The photo above is of my 6th grade year. Back then we stayed in elementary for 6th grade. I'll leave you to guess which one of these kids is me, but trust me when I say those days were far from my best image wise.

The good ol' days?

More like good ol' daze?

People, Pints & Pedals

I'm a competitive guy. By competitive I don't necessarily mean driven. At least not driven in the way that makes people get up at the ass crack of dawn and run 82 miles before work. Or hop on a bike and ride to Timbuktu and back just to say they did.

No I mean I am competitive in a ... Oh yeah watch this kind of way. A ... hold my beer a second kind of way. Or better yet, in a ... beer on one hand/ horseshoe in the other kind of way.

My friend Aaron "It Tastes Like Dirt" Sage is similarly competitive, but he also happens to be one of the aforementioned driven folks of this world as well.

Just recently Aaron celebrated a birthday. He's a few years younger than me so unlike me 2012 does not mark his 40th year on earth, but he's close enough to that number that you wouldn't think his idea of birthday fun would be to hop on a bicycle in 103 degree Texas heat and ride across the city of Amarillo. Yeah you'd think that, but you'd be wrong.

Now I like to think of myself as a good friend, but when Aaron and his lovely wife Kim first suggested we do this very thing to celebrate his birthday I thought they were both batshit crazy. The one saving grace was they wanted to ride from bar to bar. Which meant many beers along the way and let's face it, every absurd idea is easier to swallow with an alcoholic chaser.

Somewhere in the discussion I discovered this notion wasn't just some hair-brained idea Aaron had cooked up in his mind. No it was an organized event. a fundraiser for Ambucs put together by the fine folks over at 575 Pizzeria. (If you go, I suggest THE BENDER. You won't find a better, meatier pizza)

So I reluctantly agreed, and last Saturday I made the harrowing ride.

The event is called P3-People, Pints, and Pedals.

We listened to some reggae tunes while sipping a few beers in 575's parking lot before embarking.

I partook in a Shiner Bock (tasty as always), an Oskar Blues G'Knight Imperial Red (way too hoppy for this dude), and some kind of English beer that I can't recall the name. (but it was a tad too sweet.)

So then we (somewhere around 300 of us) hopped on our bikes and pedaled to THE GOLDEN LIGHT.

At the Golden Light we had several pitchers of beer. Pabst Blue Ribbon (because Craighead, another sucker riding friend is a cheapskate), a pitcher of Shiner, and I think a pitcher of Coors Light aka Colorado piss water.

Then we departed for Crush in downtown Amarillo. and yes I will confess to nearly getting ran over by a big black pickup while pedaling across a busy street. I was still sober so I'll blame the sweat in my eyes for not seeing the truck when I dashed across the street.

At Crush I had a Stella Artois (a fine Belgium brew) and then I sampled a fancy martini because it had coconut rum in it. And despite being green it proved quite tasty so then I partook in another one myself

Did I mention it was 103 outside?

From there we rode to the Amarillo Art museum where we at pizza catered by 575 and checked out the George Rodrigue exhibit.

Despite my reservations going in I not only survived, but had a good time. The 7.1 miles we rode seemed like much less broken up as it was and given we had an hour or so of boozing time at each stop.

But I still feel obligated to dish up a wriggling bite of revenge upon Aaron for attempting to make me exercise. Those of you who have read my book THE FEEDSTORE CHRONICLES might have noticed Aaron "It Tastes Like Dirt" Sage was mentioned in the acknowledgements. He was listed because he had read an earlier version of the book and provided valuable feedback. (By the way Amazon is selling the print edition at 50% off for a short time)

For the first time, I'm going to reveal the origins of his nickname. It was a fall evening. October I do believe. A few beers had been consumed when Aaron began ranting about the grub worms ravaging his lawn. One thing led to another and someone challenged him to dig one up and eat it. A round of negotiations ensued. A $20 price tag was agreed upon and Aaron quickly swallowed one of the fat white wrigglers. But sadly the guy who challenged him had ventured off to empty his bladder, so Aaron ended up eating a second grub. he did so with a smile and the words, "Not too bad. It just tastes like dirt."

Super Cells, Bacony Smells, and Horny as Hell

I've had a productive writing week so rather than drone on here I'm going to share a few of the many pictures I've collected recently on my cell phone. All of these shots come from in or around the Texas Panhandle.


Last year was terrible hot and dry but because we've had more of these this year ... 

we actually have some green foliage and wildflowers. 

 Hope that trend continues through the summer but I certainly do not want it to ...

After all the cows need something to eat.

And so do I.

Whether it be beef or pork.

 Used to be these Horny Toads were everywhere but they are kind of a rare site these days. 
 

I wish this picture accurately showed the size of these wind turbines, but it is hard to capture. (At the base of the nearest turbine is a bobtail trailer you might be able to see by clicking on the photograph.)

I would explain this shot but I better not.

 Again, you might have to click to see it, but that is Amarillo's skyline out there on the horizon. Okay, so it's not New York or Chicago, but it is home to me.

I'd just finished mowing the lawn and my hair was sweaty so when I ran my fingers through it this was the result. My 9 year old told me I looked like Wolverine so I struck a pose.

This paperback wouldn't quit frowning at me. 

See ya on down the road my friends.

Mother Nature's Mud Slushy

A few nights ago a freak thunderstorm developed just north of my hometown of Amarillo, Texas. Along with the usual rain, wind and lightening, this storm dumped 4 FEET of hail. The individual hail stones were not super large but freakishly plentiful. Here is some footage of mother natures mud slushy. Highways were forced to close and snow plows were brought in to clear the roads. 

Here is some video footage ...

MTM

It's once again my turn to host My Town Monday's over at the official MTM blog, but I didn't have a chance to write out a proper post so I'm cheating today by posting a couple of videos instead.

A glossy, tourism video ...

Amarillo native John Rich singing the tune George made famous ...

Stop by the MTM blog to visit other locales.

Pimping In Pampa - A My Town Monday Post

I've worked 19 years for the United States Postal Service. The last 13 1/2 in the maintenance department. Most of the time I work in the main sorting facility here in Amarillo, Texas but at times I am dispatched to other small post offices in both the Texas and Oklahoma Panhandles.

And not long ago I visited the facility in Pampa, Texas which is 55 miles northeast of Amarillo.

In all of my postal travels I have never seen a post office as cool as the one in Pampa.

Here is a shot of the front of the building.

and of the old style postal eagle in the stonework.

And of a topless woman.

No really. See the lady near the top of the ironwork. She really is topless.

An odd thing for a government building especially one located in the bible belt. Sorry for the poor picture quality, but all I had was my cell phone.

Inside the post office is all marble, iron, and ornate woodwork. Here is a shot of ceiling.

And another looking through some of the ironwork.

And the old antique style of post office boxes. Note the  marble on the walls.

And a shot from the roof of the Spanish tiles.

A shot of Pampa from the rooftop of the post office. As you can see the town still has several brick streets.

And I'm including this last shot for all you postal haters out there. Yeah I know waiting in line can be a drag but the USPS still is the most economical, and best shipping option. Heck, with those boys in brown want their stuff to get there where to do they take it?

That's right to the post office.

The above shot was taken at the Pampa receiving dock but it is a daily thing for UPS to drop off packages for us to ship. Why? Because we do it cheaper and more efficiently than they are able to.

For more My Town Monday posts from all over the world stop by the official MTM blog.

A Special, My Town Monday -- Tip Of The Hat To Some Local Heroes

Of all the gifts my mother bestowed upon me, I count the love of reading as the greatest.

I went out of my way to instill this same love in my boys, but as any parent knows wanting your child to do something is not anywhere close to the same thing as having them do it.

My oldest took off reading as soon as he learned how, but my youngest was reluctant. You see he hates to fail and expects to be perfect at everything he attempts so when he couldn't read every word he came across he simply refused to read. Especially out loud, for he feared he would come to a word he didn't know and would look dumb. Of course we didn't figure all of this out at the snap of a finger. He would tell us he couldn't read and we would work with him, but he'd resist and I was beginning to think her perhaps had a learning disability.

And then an event changed everything.

Members from The Crown of Texas Arabian Horse Club here in Amarillo, Texas brought the Black Stallion Literacy Foundation  to my son's school.

The Black Stallion Literacy Foundation currently with programs in nine states, motivates 1st and 4th grade children to become better readers through the gift of books and interaction with horses.  

The first grade program begins with children receiving the hardcover book Little Black, a Pony during a visit at school from the book's characters, Little Black and Big Red. The program completes with a field trip to the Will Rogers Range Riders Arena for a special hands-on learning experience which includes learning stations and a second book, Little Black Goes to the Circus. The learning stations, about horses and horse care, reinforce vocabulary from the book and most importantly, each child has an opportunity to read their favorite page of Little Black, a Pony, to a horse. 

For some kids this program is about the opportunity to own a book of their own. For my son it was the chance to read OUT LOUD to something that couldn't and wouldn't criticize, laugh, snicker, or think him stupid if he struggled over a word. He came home from the first event absolutely beaming. He read that first book and told us all about how great his day was. When he received his second book  and actually read to that horse he describes it as the best day of his life. No I am not exaggerating or using hyperbole here, but keep in mind, six-year-olds are free with their praise and exuberance.

What is undeniable, however, is that this program turned him from a reluctance almost closet reader into a bold confidant one. He owned dozens of books already and has acquired hundreds more in the nearly two years since, but his Little Black books are still cherished by both he and myself for I love them for giving him the gift of a love of books. I wish i could scan in the picture they took of my son reading to the horse but it is taped inside his book and I fear taking it out to scan it would damage the photo.

The local group hopes to add a fourth grade program in the near future, but for now they are struggling to gather the funds to continue bringing it to as many 1st grade entry level readers as possible. 

 

In the Amarillo area, our BSLF experience with first graders as shown us that the program promotes success by motivating children to read books. Many of the children who were significantly behind at the beginning of our program became avid readers, ready to advance with their class to the next grade level.

In the second program, fourth grade children are given a copy of Walter Farley’s timeless classic The Black Stallion.  It has been found that these children are truly motivated to read such a wonderful book. At the end of the fourth grade curriculum the students are treated to the “Arabian Nights Show” starring the Black Stallion that will travel from Florida to Amarillo for these successful readers.

Last year six schools participated in the BSLF first grade program. We are looking forward to increasing our number of first grade schools and including fourth graders in the future.Your contribution can make it possible for us continue to touch the lives of Amarillo area students. This is our fourth year bringing the program to Amarillo area first graders and we assure your donation will make a significant difference in the lives of these children.

  

The first grade program requires $10.00 per student and a donation of $300.00 will allow an entire class to participate. The BSLF is a 501(c)3 non-profit organization, your donation is 100% tax deductable.

Donate to our local area Black Stallion Literacy Foundation through the Crown of Texas Arabian Horse Club

If you have more questions about the program or their needs visit their website or to provide a cash donation to help spread the program you can do so via PayPal using the club's email address cotahc@aol.com

Red Dirt Rovings

For My Town Monday I thought I'd travel 240 miles east of Amarillo and show y'all a few sights from my recent trip to Oklahoma City.

Oklahoma City is the capital and the largest city in Oklahoma. With a population of 580,000 it ranks 31st among United States cities. It's entire metro area is home to 1.2 million Okies, but don't hold that against the place for there are a lot of things to do in the area. Being from Texas I had to get at least one dig in regards to our stately neighbors. Texas and Oklahoma has a good healthy rivalry that spreads to many areas but is most prominent in collegiate athletics and mumbled cursings about how the others drive.

On April 19th 1995 the Alfred P Murrah federal building was bombed and 168 people lost their lives.

Today the site is the home of a memorial and looks like this ...

It is a very somber place and standing, looking at the 168 empty chairs is a stark reminder of how fragile life can be.

Oklahoma City is home to a water park named White Water Bay and an amusement park of medium size named Frontier City. Neither rank as tops in their field but both provide good family fun at fairly reasonable prices. Especially if you are a tightwad like me, and gather coupons.

The city is also home to The National Cowboy & Western Heritage Museum and the National Softball Hall of Fame, but I have not been to either in years so I can't weigh in on any current exhibits or features.

My family did visit the Science Museum of Oklahoma and we had a blast. The boys learned to ride a segway, flew a stunt plane in a simulator and discover whet it feels like to stand outside in a  tornado. We spent over 4 hours exploring the place and could have spent twice that much had time permitted.

Along with the NBA Thunder, the team is home to several minor league teams such as the Oklahoma Barons of the American Hockey League. The Barons are the top affiliate for the Edmonton Oilers, but of course this isn't hockey season so my family had to settle for a trip to Bricktown Ballpark to watch the AAA Oklahoma Redhawks, the Houston Astro's top minor league team play.

The crowd was sparse and the Redhawks lost but my boys had a blast and both of them snagged foul balls to take home as souvenirs.

And of course the University of Oklahoma is just south of the city in Norman to provide a variety of minor league sports. (Sorry my long standing dislike of the Sooners prompted yet another dig)

Oklahoma City has done a great job transforming their old warehouse district into an entertainment district known as Bricktown complete with restaurants, shops, a riverwalk, nightclubs, and manhole covers.

Manhole covers you say?

Yep. And only in Oklahoma would a sewer be considered sanitary.

Dang it, there I go again. Guess you can take the Texan to Oklahoma but you can't take Texan out of him even while he's there.

Batter Up!

This is a post I've been meaning to write for a while , but as this story illustrates good intentions are not always enough.

Amarillo isn't exactly known for professional sports, unless you count the heydays of pro wrestling back in the 60s and 70s but we have had a few, minor league independent type teams here. And for the most part these teams have had hideous nicknames.

A hockey team called the Amarillo Gorillas and a baseball team dubbed the Amarillo Dillas being the worst of the bunch.

Way back when we had an actual major league affiliated baseball club called the Gold Sox. The Gold Sox were affiliated with a  variety of teams over the years, The Baltimore Orioles, The New York Yankees, The Chicago Cubs, and for the last time the Sand Diego Padres, But the team was moved in 1982 and though we've had a variety of independent teams since then they have mostly been teams devoid of name talent or operating capital.

The Dillas finally died a death of bankruptcy last year and we got a new independent team this year. Paying homage to the teams of yesteryear the dubbed this new team the Sox.

Deciding the squad needed a mascot they hired a California firm to design  one.

The plan was to name it Socks.

The result was riDICulous.

Needless to say the mascot was booed out of the stadium on the first night.

They have since brought out a new mascot.

So in baseball terms, the Amarillo Sox have gone from a bat to ball.

Cracking Up In Amarillo -- A My Town Monday Post

A desert is defined as an area that receives less than 10 inches of rain a year.

Here it is June 12, nearly half way into the year and Amarillo has received exactly .68 inches of moisture since January 1st. At this rate we'll have an entire inch and half of moisture before baby new year next arrives.

Just this afternoon my boys and I rode bikes to the nearest city park, where I snapped this picture.

I'm not sure how often the city is watering these days but I water every other day and still this is a crack from my own lawn. The clothespin is there to give perspective to the width and length of the crack.

 

Luckily not all of my yard looks this way, but this patch is on a slanted south side of my yard. Not only does it bear the brunt of a full days sun without shade but the ground is so hard at this point the water tends to run off rather than soak in.

Along with no rain. we have had high temps with many days above 100 already this year and summer isn't even officially here.

We've had even higher wind speeds than normal which have fueled dozens of wildfires leading to 2.8 million acres burnt statewide and more than fifty homes in the Texas Panhandle alone.

Cattle prices are starting to drop because ranchers are selling their herds due to a lack of grazeable ranch land.

It's been a hot brutal year here in Amarillo while other parts of our country have dealt with floods and deadly tornadoes. Not sure who pissed off mother nature but somebody buy that gal a sic pack of wine coolers and tell her to chill.

For more My Town Monday posts visit the official MTM site or check out these links.

Jim Winter -- The return of Giant Jesus in Cincinnati, Ohio. 

Debra Bures cleans out a room and discovers the past in Village of Peninsula, Ohio

Barrie Summy stops to smell the roses following a school visit in San Diego, CA