I Found the Beef - My Town Monday

I like to travel, and I've been to a fair amount of places here in the United States. And when I travel, or anytime for that matter, I like to talk and meet new people. Invariably the question, where are you from will come up since apparently (unbeknownst to me) I have a fairly thick twang to my voice. I think all those people are crazy, myself but what can I do.

Anyway, once I tell them I'm from Amarillo, Texas they either nod politely and say, I'd have guessed Alabama, or they say, "Hey, I've driven through there." And then they mention one of two things. Cadillac Ranch which I talked about in an earlier My Town Monday post, or The Big Texan Steak Ranch.



The two actually have a good many things in common. Both are on Interstate 40. Cadillac Ranch on the western end of Amarillo and The Big Texan on the eastern. Depending on your direction of travel, they are either one of the first or last impressions you have of the city.

They are both listed in various roadside attraction books and magazines, both have been used as movie sets and both revel in their kitschy - ness.

And since I've covered one, I'm going to give you a detailed look at other this week. The following is directly from The Big Texan's website ...

In 1960, the Big Texan Steak Ranch opened its doors alongside old Route 66 in Amarillo, Texas. On evening a hungry cowboy ventured in bragging that he was so hungry that he could "eat the whole, darned cow." Big Texan founder, R.J. "Bob" Lee started cooking him steaks. When the cowpoke finally hollered "calf rope," he had consumed 4 1/2 pounds of tasty Texas beef. Bob vowed from that day forward the dinner would be served "FREE" to anyone who could consume it in one hour.

The FREE 72oz. STEAK dinner is still flourishing at the Big Texan. More than 40,000 people have attempted to consume the Free 72oz. Steak dinner since 1960. About 7,000 have succeeded. People from all over the world continue to visit us to take the challenge and claim the bragging rights.

Interstate 40 is one of, if not the longest interstate highways in the United States. The road runs from Wilmington, North Carolina in the East all the way to Barstow, California in the West. If you travel anywhere on it's length you might spy a billboard advertising The Big Texan and their

*FREE 72oz Steak. Free being the case only of you consume the entire dinner in one hour or less. Otherwise you meal will set you back a dollar for ever once of Texas beef you are served. That's right fail to eat everything on under an hour and the bill will say $72.00.

No, I've never attempted the feat. To be honest I am fairly confident I could eat that much steak, but the rules say you must eat the entire meal which consists of 72oz of top sirloin steak, shrimp cocktail, baked potato, a dinner roll and the very devil itself -- salad. (For those new to the blog I do not eat anything green, especially lettuce as in my view it is the spawn of Satan) And I ain't all that crazy about crustaceans floating in tomato sauce either. Fried or grilled shrimp I like but you can keep the Shrimp cocktail.

If you want to read some interesting facts about the history of the challenge, click here.

Along with the restaurant there is a motel for people and one for horses . Inside the decor is splashed with every conceivable stereotype of Texas and the Old west. There is a small arcade shooting range, hundreds upon hundred of animal mounts, a giant ricking chair. The female wait staff is decked out in the attire of 1880's saloon girl and the men wear boots, jeans and cowboy hats. a three piece western band moves around the table playing old cowboy classics and the kids meals are sered in a straw hat.

Many times they have live music, including a Texas Opry and in the summer they have a live band and dancing in the outdoor facilities.

And of course there is a gift shop stacked with every thing a drugstore cowboy would ever need. There is also a pen full of live rattlesnakes in the shop[ as well as many forms of Texas souvenirs.

The place is frequented by more tourists than locals and is priced along with similar establishments, but I have had many a good steak there over the years as part of our local writing conference out organization normally takes visiting agents, editors, and authors to The Big Texan for dinner.

Stay at any I-40 hotel and The Big Texan will gladly send a limo to pick you up and fetch you out to their establishment. In one of these ...


The limo that is, not the giant cow.

Or, if you are dying to try a a bit of The Big Texan's beef, but you aren't going to be passing this way, you can mail order order their seasoned steaks via www.ilovesteaks.com But only at the holidays so you'll have to wait a while.

In 2007 Maxim magazine listed The Big Texan as one of America's top ten steakhouses and the travel channel listed it as a top ten destination to make a glutton of yourself.

No it is not my favorite restaurant in town, or even my preferred place to eat a steak but The Big Texan is a unique part of Amarillo and a place that will give you a good meal and a bit of a show while you dine. And The Lee family which still own it today are generous supporters of the city who give back to the community so I don't mind overpaying every now and then. And I certainly recommend it over the other chain restaurant that dominate I-40 through town.

Any of y'all ever eaten there? Seen the billboards? heard of the place?

Links to other blogger's, My Town Monday Posts will be included below as I become aware of them, so let me know in the comments of you decide to join in this week.

Alex Keto reconts a story that got away, while he was a journalist in Bonn, Germany.

Debbie Lou tells us about one of Bishops Stortford, England's famous residents.

Lyzzydee gives us a royal look at England's Hatfield House.

Josephine Damian teaches us a bit of history about her dad, George Washington and her town of New Rochelle, New York.

Sex Scenes at Starbucks takes us down the slopes of Winter Park, Colorado.

Clair Dickson meets us at the crossroads of Livingston County, Michigan.

Ello takes us on a nighttime tour of Washington D.C.'s monuments.

Cameron Williams guest blogs about San Diego, California over at Barrie Summy's site.

Lana Gramlich blogs about some plants near Abita springs, Louisiana that even I can appreciate.

Pattie Abbott puts a bit of Detroit, Michigan's street art on display.

Laura Kramarsky dives in with some interestign signs on the island of St. Martin.

The Anti-Wife introduces us to her college hometown, Carbondale, Illinois.

Merry Monteleone takes us out the the ballgame with a post about Chicago, Illinois's Wrigley Field.

Kicking, Contests, and a Bit of Regurgitation.

We've been practicing for several weeks but tonight is the first game for the pre-K soccer team I'm helping to coach. My youngest is geared up and ready to go. Already this morning he's had to don his shin pads and socks just to make sure they fit.

I'm grateful this is indoor soccer since the wind is howling upwards of 40 mph today.

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I'm feeling random today so be prepared for one of those unfocused posts.

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I submitted two entires to the Women's Fiction contest over at Bookends Literary Agency. These are the first 100 words from the first two novels I ever wrote ...

From Ain't Life Grand

Angela Ross slowed her beat-up Datsun to a crawl. Wind tugged at the duct tape on the top of the passenger window. Only a couple miles of barren highway, and acres of rangeland, separated Angela from her old hometown. The sight ruined the tranquil, peach-hued sunrise.

What she wouldn’t give to turn the car around and disappear again.

This time forever.

From this distance, the towering grain elevator loomed over the trees and smaller buildings like an over-sized tombstone. Yep, from this vantage point the entire community of Grand, Texas looked exactly like a giant grave.




and The Dark Side of Luck

Click, clack. Click, clack.

The gurney’s wheels ticked across the sterile tile floor. Rolling death. Three years at Heritage Nursing home, and Destiny Holt had yet learned to cope with the regular sight of patients leaving for good, beneath a stiff-white sheet.

Click, clack. Click, clack.

The men from the funeral home rounded the corner with Mrs. Gershwitz’s body. Destiny thought of the two blue-eyed little girls who smiled down from a frame beside the woman’s bed. Working nights, Destiny rarely met the residents families, but she knew them just the same. She'd heard all the stories.

I know realize that beginning with your protagonist going back to her old hometown is a bit cliche but that was my very first novel and I still believe in the story as a whole. The second one was originally called UnLuckLess but no one except for me ever liked that name so I changed it. Unlike a lot of authors I still like and have hope for both of these stories even if they were part of my learning process. I have rewritten them several times and might do so again one of these days.

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Speaking of contests, this info comes from one of my writing friends, Cicily Janus

PLEASE POST ON YOUR SITE/ZINE/BLOG WHATEVER:

Exciting new opportunities are underway at Aesthetica magazine - New Aesthetica Annual Creative Works Competition

The Aesthetica Annual Creative Works Competition will champion new talent in the genres of visual arts, photography, poetry and fiction.

The competition is separate from Aesthetica Magazine, however the annual event is organised by the founders of Aesthetica Magazine.

Details of the Annual Competition:

1. The competition will accept entries of creative writing (poetry & fiction) as well as artwork and photography.
2. Each section will have one winner that will receive a prize of £500 and a subscription to Aesthetica Magazine
3. The new Aesthetica Annual will be a book that will present winning entries and runners-up in the genres of artwork, poetry and fiction.
4. Entry allows the submission of either five images of artwork, three short stories (up to 2000 words each), or five poems (up to 40 lines each).
5. The entry fee for the Aesthetica Annual Creative Works Competition is £10.
6. Deadline for entries is 31 August 2008.

For further information please go to http://www.aestheticamagazine.com/submission_guide.htm

Since the deadline isn't until August, I might even enter myself once I get Plundered Booty finished and out the door.

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Somebody visited my blog from Cork, Ireland today. I just felt like adding that little tidbit since I think that name has a nice ring to it. Cork, Ireland. Any of y'all ever been there? How about any of these other (what I would consider) exotic locales where I've recently had visitors from.

Reggio Emilia, Italy
Cuiaba, Brazil
Haslev, Denmark
Baden Baden, Germany
Dubai, United Arab Emirates (Hello, Christene)
Honolulu, Hawaii
Brooklyn, New York (hey, it' exotic to me)


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In the last few days these search terms have led surfers to my blog,

tramp stamp fiction
pretty butt
liar, liar pants on fire
benefits of a molasses enema
nymphadora spanking
testicle hitch ball covers

There are more but they are not nearly as damning as these are. If no one knew a thing about my blog except that searching these terms inked them to me what do you think their opinion would be?

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And let me leave y'all with a great invention idea from me.

If even some of you fall into my habit of hitting the snooze button three or four times each morning have I got just what you need ... The Pukinator Alarm Clock.

I can set the alarm clock radio to full blast or set the dial to that annoying shrill buzzer but neither of those sounds can penetrate my drowsiness.

But let one of my boys crawl into bed with me, and and the first hint of a gag, (you know that ruuugh sound), and not only am I awake in an instant but I spring out of bed like Spiderman at the merest hiss of a Raid can.

I'm thinking I'd never oversleep or be late for work again if alarms clocks sounded more like a child about to vomit on your head.

Ahhh ... the joys of parenthood.

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Have a nice weekend. I'll see you Monday for next week's My Town Monday.

(Don't tell anyone but I usually cheat and get my post up Sunday afternoon, so I can spend Monday gathering everyone's links.)

Take That Fabio

This guy has nothing on me ...


Neither does this fellow ...


Or even this chap ...Sure, they and their well defined bodies are featured in calenders, but you know what?


So am I soon to be. That's right, your truly has been selected to be a calendar boy.


Okay, so I wasn't chosen on the basis of my chiseled good looks and rock hard abs. I was selected for something even better.

My ability to string words together.


I submitted an essay on the craft of writing to Bylines Calendar, a weekly desk calendar for writers, and this week I found out they had accepted my essay. So now I have to send them a picture to include along with the essay and my bio. Here is a description of the 2008 edition. I will be in the 2009 version.

Bylines 2008 Writer's Desk Calendar: » Each week features an author sharing his/her insights on the writing life. » Ample space for jotting notes, and highlighting upcoming events on the calendar » Weekly calendar; also a "month at a glance" view for planning longer projects

Extra Features: » Daily listings of famous writers' birthdays » Handy resource list of our favorite books and writing-related websites. » Page to designate writing goals for the year; also pages for writing monthly goals » Listings of "literary" holidays » Pages to write down conference notes » An expanded resources section

Even MORE features in the 2008 edition: » Handy submission tracker, that can be copied as needed » pages for recording phone numbers and email addresses » pages for keeping track of travel/business expenses

And you know what? The essay is an abbreviated version of one of my older blog posts. So now I can officially say this blog has helped my writing career.

Two Line Tuesday & Tattoos

A bit of introduction before I give you two lines from something I've read this week.

Many of you know Charles Gramlich from his blog Razored Zen. If you've never been there, you should. He is also a frequent commenter here at my blog. I try to do my best to support fellow authors especially those I know, either in person or from the blogosphere, as is the case with Charles. So I ordered a copy of, Swords of Talera which is book one in his Talera trilogy.

Truth be told I didn't expect to like it all that much. Oh, I expected it to be well written and all. I knew that much from reading Charles's blog but you see fantasy, alternate worlds, and that kind of stuff isn't normally my thing. I tend to read fiction rooted more in the reality of everyday life. I read fiction for great characters that I can relate to and sympathize with.

I bought Swords of Talera and sat on it a few weeks. Then I picked it up and finished in two days. Charles sucked me in quicker than you can say action packed. Now I will have to order the next two editions of his fantasy adventure the next time I hit the book store. Here is a two sentence taste.

I do not remember what I said. I think there were words about liberty and honor, about glory, such things as you say to men when you know that many of them will soon die. ~ From Swords Of Talera by Charles Gramlich

And a two sentence sample of my week's work on Plundered Booty ...

WifeGate. That's the term the whole betting fiasco soon became known as around the dealership.

Two sentence Tuesday was founded by Laura over at Women Of Mystery.

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Now to the tattoo portion of today's post.

I have none. My wife has one. Hers is what is commonly known as a tramp stamp. For those who might not know what a tramp stamp is I'll give you a bit from the Urban Dictionary.

“Tramp Stamp” is a derogatory term referring to a tattoo which a women places on her lower back. It is especially popular among women born in the late 70’s, 80‘s, and even early 90’s. Fair or unfair, these tattoos have a socially constructed connotation associated with them.

Someday, I will share a funny story about that term and the day a friend of ours put his foot in his mouth, but that is another story for another day. My wife's tattoo is a small three inches or so heart. Inside the heart is the Lone star and colors of the Texas flag. She has had the tat for eight or nine years now and has wanted to expand on it or get a another one for a number of years. I have always been against the idea. Not because I dislike tattoos. Quite the contrary, the right ink on the right person is often very alluring. And I do like her current tattoo, but it always seems that when she gets the itch we are busy, or our budget is tight, or maybe those are just excuses on my part. Who knows?

But that's not my point of this post.

My wife Jennifer has long wanted me to get inked, but I have never been compelled to do so.
I enjoy watching Miami Ink. Not only for the great art those guys do each week, but also for the stories behind the tattoos, so I appreciate a nicely done piece. I'm not particularly afraid of needles, or incapable of sitting still for hours while a tattoo artist does their thing. So why have I never been inked?

First off I'm a tightwad and spending the kind of money it takes to get a tattoo the size and quality I'd want is expensive. Second off, I've never been thought of anything that I was willing to permanently use my body as a canvas for.

But the other night I made a pledge to my wife - with witnesses around. When Plundered Booty sales ... I will get a tattoo.

Yes. I already know what I want and where on my body I will get it, but I'm keeping both of those a secret for now. Now it is a matter of finding someone to draw a paper version of what I want and of finding the right tattoo artist to do the work. Oh, and of course finding an agent to rep Plundered Booty and an editor ready to print it. But first I gotta finish the dang thing so I better get off here and get to work.


In the meantime y'all weigh in. Got ink? What and where? If not. Would you ever get any done? Why, or why not?

My Town Monday - Sing me Song

Since it has been a few days since I posted, and I was away and didn't do a My Town Monday last week, I'm posting this week's edition extra early. To read past My Town Monday posts, click here. This week's version is going to be about Amarillo's role in song. Here is my first attempt at adding a video and this also is probably the best known song about Amarillo.

Find more videos like this on www.truveo.com.

The song Amarillo By Morning is one of country music's all time recognizable songs and it certainly helped launch George Strait's career. George never has written his own music and this particular song was around long before he cut it. The song was written by primarily by Terry Stafford though Paul Fraser is credited as well. Here is an interesting link to an obituary about Terry Stafford who was an Amarillo boy. In my humble opine, both Terry's 1973 version and rodeo champion turned singer, Chris Ledoux's, are better and sang with more feeling than George's so if you get a chance check them out.

But if you live on the other side of the Atlantic this might be the song you most associate with Amarillo.

Find more videos like this on www.truveo.com.

Is This the Way to Amarillo was written by Neil Sedaka and Howard Greenfield, but was popularized in Europe by Tony Christie. Amarillo was chosen as the title city because Sedaka couldn't think of any other city name that rhymed with the words willow and pillow.

The following comes from this wikipedia article ...

The song was recorded by Tony Christie and released in the UK in November 1971, initially reaching number 18 in the UK Singles Chart. However, it was a substantially bigger hit at that time across Continental Europe, notably in Germany and Spain where it made number one. In Germany, the song's chorus is widely adapted as a chant by football and hockey fans even today. Following its re-issue in 2005 - when it reached number one in the UK - the song gained even greater popularity. In 2006 it was played at the World Cup Final in Berlin and was also played by The Central Band of the Royal British Legion on Centre Court at Wimbledon before the start of the Men's Singles final.

To be honest I never heard this song until it was rereleased in England in 2005 for some kind of comic relief benefit. I ahve also seen a video of a bunch of British soldiers dancing to the song. Maybe DebbieLou, Lyzzydee, Stephen Parrish, or the globe-hopping Alex Keto can vouch for the European popularity, but I can promise most people in Amarillo know very little if anything about this song. Though I find it quite catchy it is not my favorite song about Amarillo.

This is ...

Find more videos like this on www.truveo.com.

Not only is Amarillo Highway my favorite song about Amarillo, but Robert Earl Keen is my favorite songwriter, though he did not write this little ditty. Terry Allen did though his version is a bit slow paced in my opinion. Nothing goes with this song like a six pack of Shiner Bock and the company of good friends.

For those of you not from The Texas Panhandle Plainview, Idalou, and New Deal are town names from the area. This song makes me think of warm summer nights, cold beer, and outdoor concerts. I have seen Robert Earl perform it many times live and it never fails to make me tap along and sing off key as I drive.

There are many more songs that include Amarillo in the lyrics and I'll get to a few in future My Town Mondays. My hometown is also the birthplace or hometown to some talented songwriters which I'll also discuss in later editions but next week I think I'll talk about food and how living here has made me a beef man through and through.

So tell me which of these three songs is your favorite? Or do you have another tune that you like that mentions Amarillo? I'm betting Ol' George wins out, but don't worry I won't hold that against you.


Links to other My Town Monday participants can be found below as they are posted. If you plan to participate drop a line in the comments to let me know.

Shauna Roberts introduces us to Riverside California and the mother tree.

Lana Gramlich takes us on a stroll through Abita Springs, Louisiana's historical district.

Patti Abbott talks about the original Borders bookstore in Ann Arbor, Michigan and the state of book buying today.

DebbieLou gives us a fascinating post about Bishops Stortford, England that isn't a bit corny despite being all about corn.

Barrie Summy tickles your appetite and the ivories at a San Diego joint made famous by the movie Top Gun.

Stephen Parrish hoops it up about his former town Louisville, Kentucky.

Claire Dickinson introduces us to Livingston County, Michigan.

Lois Karlin from Women of Mystery relays how hard it is to focus and write during springtime in rural New York.

Josephine Damian gets Jakey with a post about New Rochelle, New York's founding father.

Ello gives us a bit of history on the Georgetown area of Washington D.C.

Anti-Wife gives us a picture from her formative years in Peoria, Illinois.

WordVixen offers up a mouth watering post about the Coffee Co. in Lancaster, Pennsylvania.

Britta Coleman's post on Fort Worth, Texas goes to the dogs this week.

Jason Scott Adams, my childhood best friend introduces us to his town Sugar Creek, Missouri.

Lyzzydee tells us how garden cities such as her town, Welwyn Garden city, England came about.

Spring Broken, family fun, & Naked Baby Eating Birds

My writing mojo is not very mojo-ey right now. Not when it comes to blog entries and not when it comes to working on Plundered Booty. Taking a few days off has left me disjointed and impatient. I'm not letting the flow follow a natural course. I am rushing my thoughts and the points I want to make. Even though I realize this is happening I seem powerless to stop slow down and let a rhythm take over.

I will not be finished with Plundered Booty by Sunday as was my goal. Between my desktop dying and being forced to type on on my laptop and a couple of new revelations that require reworking part of the plot it will most likely be April before I finish. Yes, those are excuses, but I'm throwing them out there anyway.

Also I'm way behind on answering email, reading blogs, and posting links so please forgive me if you fall in one of those categories.

What is going good?

I've been having a blast with my family. We had perfect weather at Six Flags and for any roller coater connoisseurs I highly recommend the Batman The Ride.

I also give high praise to The World Aquarium in Dallas for a family activity. Sure it cost us $64 dollars as a family to get in but the place is much more than fish in tanks. from monkeys to manatees. Penguins to Puffer fish. It is a worthy place to visit. I will post pictures when i find that dang cord for my camera.

I've spent most of today burying "Treasure" (candy, dollar bills, Hotwheel cars, and other prizes suitable for 5 and 7 year old boys) and drawing pirate maps they can follow to find their loot. We have nearly three acre, more than enough for many a pretend adventure.

Tomorrow, we are going to the park to play frisbee golf.


In non family related good news I have discovered a tasty new beer. It's called Tilburg's Dutch Brown Ale. The beer itself is dark and has a grainy almost nutty taste. It's the kind of beer that will put hair on your chest not that I need any help in that department. The label also has one heck of a freaky picture. It appears to be some kind of bird like creature ingesting a naked baby with an arrow protruding from it's butt. There also appears to be an extra set of human legs. Here is shot I found on the internet.

Strange huh? Does anybody know the origins of this picture or what it is supposed to mean or represent. I'm curious but in the meantime I'll have another few beers and ponder the label. Who knows if I drink enough the words just might begin to flow again. That tactic seemed to work for Hemingway.

Along the Broken White Lines

I'm back home, but not quite back in the groove. I wanted to post a few pics, but I can't find the cable that connects my camera to the computer. So without pictorial accompaniment here are a few random observations I made while on the road.

I'm no economist, but I do know prisons are big business here in Texas. As you travel throughout the state it is common to see the sign, DO NOT PICK UP HITCHHIKERS IN THIS AREA. It seems like one out of every four towns with any size at all has a state prison in it. We have two right here in Amarillo. One of which is named after a former governor,William Clemens. Which brings me to my point.

Who wants a prison named after them? Is it really an honor? Highways, bridges, overpasses I get. But a prison? That has to rank at the very bottom of the honorary totem pole. Just below having a tollway named after you.

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Sorry for the confusion over this week's My Town Monday. Next week will be back to normal.

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I hate the air hand-dryers in bathrooms. Is a paper towel too much to ask for? A good eighty percent of the roadside bathrooms are nasty enough anyway, but then you got to stand there while lukewarm, recycled bathroom air is blown on your clammy paws. The floor beneath these machines are always stained and nasty from so many dripping hands and I'm always to impatient to wait for my hands to completely dry so I end up finishing the job with the back of my pants. I can live with the smelly dirty yellow urinals, the poorly spelled graffiti message, the John Wayne toilet paper, but for the love of God, give me a paper towel.

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Here's a related question that arose on the trip. If you stop and use a business's restroom are you obligated to make a purchase?

I say yes. Our friend who joined us on the trip said no. What say y'all?

More as soo as I find that dang computer cable.