Wednesday, May 30, 2007

The Funkster

Okay I admit. there was a time when I thought Professional Wrestling was great. No, I never thought the antics were real, or that the outcome of the matches depended on each wrestlers skill. Yes, even as a young boy I knew wrestling was fake, but I loved it anyway. Sorry Steve, but its true the matches were staged. And if you really think about it, pro wrestling has every thing that a good piece of fiction must possess.

Characters- A book needs them and wrestling has never been shy of interesting characters.

Plot- Any wrestling federation that there has ever been has dozens of plots going on. Throw out the matches and the whole thing is really one continuous soap opera.

Suspense-There was a time when I was just as eager to see who would become the next world champion. Nowadays I'm more eager to find out who the initials R.A.B belong to. For you non Harry Potter fans this is a reference to something that came out in book six.


So yesterday I go to the gym to work off the aftermath of my long weekend. I sitting on the bike pedaling my no shrinking rear end off when a man takes the bike next to me. I look over and who do I see?

For those who do not know this is Terry Funk from the legendary Funk family that included Dory, Dory Jr, and Terry. Not only is Terry a legendary wrestler but he has also appeared in numerous television shows and movies, including Paradise Alley with Stallone, Roadhouse with Patrick Swayze and Sam Elliott. (my wife would shoot me if I didn't mention Sam Elliott here - If you could give Johnny Depp Sam Elliott's voice and make him play the guitar like Willie Nelson she'd faint dead away)

Amarillo isn't that big of town and Terry Funk has lived her all his life so this isn't the first time I've ran across him. Matter of fact for those of you following along with the Feedstore Chronicles, Terry Funk and Dick Murdoch another famous wrestler used to come in and buy cattle feed. Back then they pissed me off cause they would sit around and chat with Earl, all the while spitting tobacco juice on the floor which I would have to clean up after they left.

In case you are wondering I rode the bike at level 5 for twenty minutes on a random cycle which means it simulated going up and down hills as well as level ground. Terry Funk a man thirty years my senior who can barely walk after years of abusing his body set his bike on level 9 for twenty five minutes all uphill. But I pretty sure I could outrun him.


Anonymous said...

Cool..a real wrestler. Did you say anything to him?

Yet again, your stories have brought a smile to my face.


alternatefish said...

I smell a book here. The WWE Guide to Writing a Novel.

Jenster said...

But wait. Are you telling me pro-wrestling isn't real???

WordVixen said...

3 things: 1.AlternateFish- that is too funny and I would soooo read it. :) 2. Dude! I had a manager that used to wrestle in ECW, and I believe Funk was the friend he kept telling me about (who comes up to visit him). 3. I've always said that pro wrestling is a soap opera for men. :)

Totally different subject, are you going to use that bit about the school bus flashing in one of your stories?

Travis Erwin said...

Bluefingers - yes we exchanged a few words but I was too winded to say much

Alternatefish- How about WordSlam : A No Holds Barred Way to Write

Jenster- I won't say fake, let's go with altered reality

WordVixen- Were you talking about using it in a blog story or my fiction? I haven't thought much about it unitl I read that blog post asking about bus stories, but you never know.

Celeste said...

Love the simile :) I must agree with you about the drama of WWF!

Patti said...

ha! i would have upped my level just to show him who's boss. and then waited for him to finish so i could limp away...

Frank Baron said...

good stuff but I had to slow down my reading there at the end. Was gettin' wheezy.

I loved wrestling way back in the long-ago-and-far-away. My heroes were Bruno Sammartino and Yukon Eric.

Yeah, I'm old.

WordVixen said...

I was thinking that the bus story would be a nice little bit of characterization for one of the teen girls in your fiction- though it would definitely make a good blog post too. :)

Hm.. if you don't use it, mind if I do? I don't have any teen girls, but I could definitely see it as a backflash or something. :)

Anonymous said...

Wrasslin staged? Blasphemy! How dare you insinuate that the great "sport" is faked. In the words of another true fan "Put it in the ring big boy, put it in the ring!" Where else can you get an angry old lady to throw a cup of ice at you, or a pregnant teenager to give you a good cussing? Not at the opera, thats for sure.!!!
Well, maybe a hockey game. Wait, thats my "old lady". (Good thing she doesnt get on the internet)