Tuesday, March 11, 2008

I've Already Got the Black Beard

It's Tuesday and that means it's time to participate in Two Sentence Tuesday. As I type this the originator of TST, Laura Kramarsky who blogs over The Women Of Mystery, has not posted hers, but I'm sure she will.

This week I have been reading the Robert Louis Stevenson classic, Treasure Island to my boys so the excerpt comes from there.


“Doctors is all swabs,” he said; “and that doctor there, why, what do he know about seafaring men? I been in places hot as pitch, and mates dropping round with Yellow Jack, and the blessed land a–heaving like the sea with earthquakes—what to the doctor know of lands like that?—and I lived on rum, I tell you.



And here is a bit of dialogue work from my own pirate story, Plundered Booty.

"You can't blame J.J. or Jesus for this. Neither one of them forced
you to make those bets."

****************

So, on to my day yesterday. There I was at work not ten minutes after clocking in. I take my glasses off to clean them and make a slight adjustment since they felt loose. The next thing I I have two separate and equal pieces in my hand. Doing my best Revenge of The Nerds impression, I tried to tape them together using black electrical tape. No luck.

When that failed I turned to Super Glue. It worked but knowing the frames were on borrowed time I got on the phone and called around until I fount an optometrist willing to see me later that same morning.

It's never a good thing when a doctor of any kind takes one look at one of your body parts and says ," Wow, that's abnormal."

After a lot of looking on her part, squinting into bright lights on mine, she come to the conclusion I have keratoconus in my left eye only. Basically it means I have a thinning and misshapen cornea. And Thursday I go have my cornea mapped so I can be fitted with a specially shaped contact lens.

There is a small 20% according to my research that the cornea will continue to deteriorate and that at some point I'll need a cornea transplant. But I, being of the optimistic sort, have come up with a silver lining even for the worst case scenario, which is blindness in the diseased eye.

I might wind up with a cool pirate patch, which can only help me to sale Plundered Booty. Sure I'll have to get a big gold earring and buy me a parrot to sit on my shoulder but at least then I'll have platform.

And finally there will be an apt explanation for my rum affinity.

Yo, ho me hardees!

27 comments:

Shauna said...

Oh, I hope and pray that your appointment goes well and the eye disease is ... fixed? Stopped? Cured? Still, your great story telling abilities had me chuckling. Not at the disease, just, er... you know.

Lana Gramlich said...

Egads...You may want to get a second opinion! I can see you with an eye patch, though...

deborah elliott-upton said...

Now if you can get Johnny Depp to hang around with you, I'll even spring for the eye patch. Deal?

Brooke said...

Good luck with the eye, that's never a good thing to hear...I know what you mean about doctors, I once had an ear nose and throat dr. look up my nose and say, "Oh my God!"

I was on the operating table not long after...those dang doctors.

The Anti-Wife said...

Considering your book title, I can't think of a more perfect person to wear an eye patch. Hope all goes well.

alex keto said...

Sorry to hear this. I hope it works out.

Anonymous said...

Please investigate collagen crosslinking, currently undergoing clinical trials in the US, and used routinely elsewhere in the world as soon as Keratoconus is diagnosed. Do not stop with an optician, please see a cornea specialist. And do your research first--not all of them will tell you about crosslinking, which stops the progress of the disease.

Marla Baltes said...

Wow. I am so sorry to hear about your eye. You sound like you are taking it well but I am sure it is quite the stressful situation. hugs and prayers.

Clare2e said...

Yipes, Travis. Best of luck ocular-ly.

As for your two sentences, I was reading Treasure Island last summer when we vacationed in Hispaniola. I just love it!

Thanks for keeping the 2-sentence Tuesday torch lit when we turned temporarily tardy. We're blazing now.

Angie said...

So in a way it's a good thing your glasses fell apart, then? :P Hope everything goes well -- I'll keep a set of virtual fingers crossed for you.

Angie

Patti said...

i have eye issues as well, so i feel your pain, but you have taken the optimistic pirate road. good for you...arrrrrgggg!

Terrie Farley Moran said...

Hi Travis,

An eye patch would be very cool. Let's hope you never have a reason to wear it other than to publicize Plundered Booty.

Terrie

AaroN said...

You can practice your "arrrrrrr mateys!" too.

Jennifer said...

Yo ho ho and I guess it's important to have a good sense of humor.


;-)

Sam

Melissa Marsh said...

Well I suppose it was a good thing your glasses broke so you could find out about it now instead of later! We have a history of glaucoma in our family, so every time I go to the eye doctor I have to get air shot into my eyes. Hate that.

I like the pirate eye-patch idea, though hope it doesn't come to that!

Cicily Janus said...

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum...

I would say it sounds like your going through a "rough patch".

Just lay a few cold, raw steaks over your eyes and click your heels together...

Can I buy you a rag to wear over your hair and saw off one of your legs to replace it with a wooden stump?

Good luck and call me to let me know what the doc says.

~C

Anonymous said...

Jenn says:

Hey I kinda like pirates. Pirates are HOT! Deborah has the right idea. Yeah Johnny Depp. Your eye will be fine, but you can still wear a patch if you want. hahahah. Do not get a parrot because they poop. YUCK! Keep the rum. Loose the parrot.

spyscribbler said...

You are too much. That's hilarious! I wouldn't wish you blindness, but what a way to find the silver lining!

All I seem to hear lately is platform, platform, platform.

Ello said...

Eeeeek, Travis, I hope your eye is fine. But thanks for providing us with chuckles even though this has got to be hard on you. Best of luck!

Oh and sorry I couldn't get my act together for MOnday, will make sure to be ready for next Monday!

ruby said...

Oh no! That's scary! HOpe your eye is ok!

KiKi said...

I've also heard a litle about collagen crosslinking. A guy at my job just had a double corneal transplant. My eyes glazed over as he tried to tell me about the clinical trials and now I wish I had paid closer attention so I could share the info with you.

Casdok said...

I think a second opinion would be a good idea - good luck!

Bernita said...

Sorry about your eye, but don't ...er... give up the ship yet.
I like rum.

SUV MAMA said...

Yuck, T. But 80% chance it WON'T happen, right?

I admire anyone who can turn pirate from a potentially bad situation.

You just don't get much cooler than that...

Bina said...

And I have the perfect parrot for your shoulder. Her name is "Talon". Get it? Talon?

Yea, okay. Well, I agree, get a second opinion!!! I know you are making it light hearted, but that would scare the crap of me.

Tee said...

LOL - I like your optimistic attitude.

I hope you turn out to be OK. My husband has pterygia. So far his vision hasn't been affected but it's definitely freaky when there's a problem that involves one's vision.

Anonymous said...

Linda said:
Don't fret about the corneal transplant bit - I have had three of them, and I am happy to report that I see 20/20 with contacts.