A Day in The Life of Me

Before I give you my lines for Two Sentence Tuesday let me tell you about my day yesterday.


The lower portion of my gut ws hurting when I got up, but I trudged off to work at the Post Office just the same. I could lie and say I was dedicated. I could even quote all that -- Through Rain Sleet and Snow baloney but the truth is I thought my stomach would quit soon.

But by nine-thirty or ten I could only stand for ten or fifteen minutes at a time until the pain forced me to seek a place to park my butt. That made it hard to perform my preventive maintenance route on the mail sorting equipment, but luckily one of my buddies took pity on me and did most of my work for me.

At eleven fifteen I called my doctor but he was out to lunch, so while I wanted his return my coworkers decided to offer up their diagnosis. Here's a list of what I heard ...

You just need to take a big hairy dump.
I bet it's gas. (I explained to them getting gas from Osama himself couldn't be any more painful that the way I felt."

Then the women chimed in.

Maybe it's you ovaries, one of them giggled.
Or Your time to start.

And I thought females were the more compassionate gender.

Gallbladder, appendix, bladder infection, came the opinions of the more serious among us.

So I finally talked to me doctor's nurse and after describing the symptoms she said it sounded like my appendix. But they were completely booked and they could do the necessary tests anyway so they referred me to a clinic.

As I sat there and waited and waited I couldn't help but think great now my body parts are rejecting me. Finally I get and after a myriad of tests and bodily intrusions the diagnosis ... a prostrate infection, most likely from having a bladder infection that went untreated. And I thought I'd just drank too much rum a week or so when it hurt to take a leak.

Now that I've stepped off into the too much information category let me sy I'm sorry I ahven't commented on all of you My Town Monday Posts, and I must apologize to my Monday night Critique group as well since once I finally got home I simply crashed without calling or emailing to let them know I wasn't going to make it.

I stayed home today and I wish I could say my pain is better but it's really not. But hey, at least I'm home and not at work.

Now onto to Two Sentence Tuesday where I toss out two lines I've read this week as well as two I've written. Again check out The Women Of Mystery Blog, the fine ladies who came up with the idea of Two Sentence Tuesday.


From my reading, Texas Monthly magazine April 2008 issue,

From a review by Mike Shea of the book WILLIE NELSON :AN EPIC LIFE written by Texas journalist JOE NICK PATOSKI

Fans that have come to believe that Willie-ness is next to godliness may be suprised by the coarser reality of his life, from cotton-picking poverty through an eternity on the road -- not to mention the raging lunacy of his Fourth of July picnics and his (well documented) affinity for smoking dope and rough-edged pistol packing associates. Patoski declines to judge or analyze, merely chronicling Nelson's story through the eyes ans ears of those who have lived it.


And from my own novel in progress, Plundered Booty


"Do you have to heap food on your plate like that?"

I turned to look at my wife, but seeing as to how my mouth was full of macadamia nut cookie, I couldn't respond.


For the record, I hate macadamia nuts. Give me a good ol' moist sugar cookie any day. If you got nothing else to say at least chime in and tell me you favorite and least favorite cookie.