Tuesday, April 8, 2008

A Day in The Life of Me

Before I give you my lines for Two Sentence Tuesday let me tell you about my day yesterday.

The lower portion of my gut ws hurting when I got up, but I trudged off to work at the Post Office just the same. I could lie and say I was dedicated. I could even quote all that -- Through Rain Sleet and Snow baloney but the truth is I thought my stomach would quit soon.

But by nine-thirty or ten I could only stand for ten or fifteen minutes at a time until the pain forced me to seek a place to park my butt. That made it hard to perform my preventive maintenance route on the mail sorting equipment, but luckily one of my buddies took pity on me and did most of my work for me.

At eleven fifteen I called my doctor but he was out to lunch, so while I wanted his return my coworkers decided to offer up their diagnosis. Here's a list of what I heard ...

You just need to take a big hairy dump.
I bet it's gas. (I explained to them getting gas from Osama himself couldn't be any more painful that the way I felt."

Then the women chimed in.

Maybe it's you ovaries, one of them giggled.
Or Your time to start.

And I thought females were the more compassionate gender.

Gallbladder, appendix, bladder infection,
came the opinions of the more serious among us.

So I finally talked to me doctor's nurse and after describing the symptoms she said it sounded like my appendix. But they were completely booked and they could do the necessary tests anyway so they referred me to a clinic.

As I sat there and waited and waited I couldn't help but think great now my body parts are rejecting me. Finally I get and after a myriad of tests and bodily intrusions the diagnosis ... a prostrate infection, most likely from having a bladder infection that went untreated. And I thought I'd just drank too much rum a week or so when it hurt to take a leak.

Now that I've stepped off into the too much information category let me sy I'm sorry I ahven't commented on all of you My Town Monday Posts, and I must apologize to my Monday night Critique group as well since once I finally got home I simply crashed without calling or emailing to let them know I wasn't going to make it.

I stayed home today and I wish I could say my pain is better but it's really not. But hey, at least I'm home and not at work.

Now onto to Two Sentence Tuesday where I toss out two lines I've read this week as well as two I've written. Again check out The Women Of Mystery Blog, the fine ladies who came up with the idea of Two Sentence Tuesday.

From my reading, Texas Monthly magazine April 2008 issue,

From a review by Mike Shea of the book WILLIE NELSON :AN EPIC LIFE written by Texas journalist JOE NICK PATOSKI

Fans that have come to believe that Willie-ness is next to godliness may be suprised by the coarser reality of his life, from cotton-picking poverty through an eternity on the road -- not to mention the raging lunacy of his Fourth of July picnics and his (well documented) affinity for smoking dope and rough-edged pistol packing associates. Patoski declines to judge or analyze, merely chronicling Nelson's story through the eyes ans ears of those who have lived it.

And from my own novel in progress, Plundered Booty

"Do you have to heap food on your plate like that?"

I turned to look at my wife, but seeing as to how my mouth was full of macadamia nut cookie, I couldn't respond.

For the record, I hate macadamia nuts. Give me a good ol' moist sugar cookie any day. If you got nothing else to say at least chime in and tell me you favorite and least favorite cookie.


Bina said...

Oh No! I'm sorry about the infection. I've never had one but I hear they DO hurt, really bad. I hope you got a shot to help you on your way to recovery, and not just some pills that are "supposed" to work quickly, cause they never work for me. I always demand a shot!

Feel better soon!

Lexi said...

Hope you're feeling better soon!

Monnik said...

oh man. I hope you're better soon. That sucks!

My favorite cookie is a snickerdoodle. YUM.

Terrie Farley Moran said...


You poor thing! How painful. You rest up and take care. Rest is very important.

I loved the Willie Nelson book review. He has had quite a life.

Your two sentences have a great ring of truth. Has Jen caught you heaping the old plate?

I live on those 100 calorie cookie packets now. (How sad!) But as a traditionalist I must say that fresh from the oven chocolate chip cookies will send my pulse a-racin'.

Feel better.


Clair Dickson said...

Hope you feel better. Maybe thinking about warm gooey cookies will help!

I used to be a huge Oatmeal Raison cookie person. Homemade oatmeal raison were best. And I always made the cookies extra big. Sweet and crumbly...

Barrie said...

I'm assuming your on antibiotics. Hope they kick in soon.

I don't have a favorite cookie. But do love buttertarts!!!

Charles Gramlich said...

Ouch, I've never had one of those, although I had a bladder infection a few weeks back that kept me up for nearly 48 straight hours.

A-Ron said...

Bladder infection?

Nothing some hard liquor can't fix!

Lana Gramlich said...

Gads, hon! Take care of yourself & feel better! *big hugs*

sex scenes at starbucks said...

Chocolate chip cookies.

With beer.

It's good, try it!

Feel better quick.

deborah elliott-upton said...

You are not allowed to be sick. Hmm, I am not sure I ever found a cookie I didn't like -- but I especially (today anyway) am fond of Mexican Wedding Cookies.

Lissa said...

There are no cookies other than hot chocolate chip!

Sizzle said...

I hope you feel better soon!

WordVixen said...

Ouch- sorry to hear about that. I went through something similar as a kid and... no, you don't want to know any more.

Ello said...

Oh Travis, I feel for you dude! I had me some terrible ulcer pains last night that kept me up all night. I completely understand the agony of such pain. I'm sorry you suffered. Feel better soon.

And I love macadamia nuts!

jjdebenedictis said...

Take care; I prescribe lots of sitting and sugar cookies!

Favourite cookie: the more chocolate the better.

Least favourite cookie: the ones that commend themselves based on their fibre content.

Anonymous said...

Feel better soon, big guy! That sounds horrible.

Fave cookie? WARM chunky peanut butter

Ickiest cookie? Do Rice Krispie treats count?

tiggysmum70 said...

Oh it's just some personal crap. Hubby is being a jerk and lil man and I are moving out this weekend. It's going to be a rough ride. Thank you for your concern. I really appreciate it!
Have a great week!

Bubblewench said...

I met Willie Nelson once at a Grateful Dead concert.. that should sum it up pretty well.

I really hope you knock that infection out quick. Sorry it's so painful! Stinks.

Cookies? Those peanut butter chocolate girl scout things. That's probably one of the few times I actually will eat and enjoy chocolate.

Bernita said...

Geezus God, Travis.
Don't just give us the diagnosis, tell us if they gave you something to cure/alleviate it!

Anonymous said...

Ouch, glad you're feeling better and nothing needed to be yanked out:)

Anonymous said...

That sucks. I hope you are feeling better real soon. Thanks for your comments on my blog. I really appreciate them. Hugs.

Melissa Marsh said...

Goodness! Good thing you went to the doc when you did. Hope the pain gets better soon. Take this opportunity to get lots of sleep and make sure your family pampers you. :-)

Carleen Brice said...

Youch! Been there...well not with a prostate, but you know what I mean!

Favorite cookies of late are Nana's fruit-juice sweetened, no egss, no dairy chocolate chip cookies.

Debbielou said...

Travis - sorry to hear that you're not feeling good.Get better soon!

What's all this "cookie lark" - cookies - smookies - they're "Biscuits" everyone knows that !! x

Cicily Janus said...

Wow...sorry to hear about you being sick. Call me if you need anything. Get better soon!


Britta Coleman said...

Great lines from the WIP! Mine are posted on the blog.

Feel better...

SUV MAMA said...

I'm impressed as hell that you could type all of that in the kind of pain you must have had!

Favorite cookie... judging by the size of my jeans, I would say I'm not inclined to pick a favorite. I clearly like them all.