Friday, July 18, 2008

I'm A Genius

Still haven't gotten pictures yet, but thought I'd tell a tale of my ability to get my entire foot in my mouth.

While standing in line at the airport to check on for our return flights, Janet, a member of our group, made the comment that she really wanted to take an Alaskan cruise. I chimed in and said "Not me."

At this point a rather large stranger with a goofy looking Fedora turned around and said, "I went on an Alaskan cruise last month and it was spectacular. My group made small talk with the man for a few seconds and then Janet says to me, "Why don't you want to go to Alaska?"

To which I say, "I'd love to go to Alaska but I want to be on my own where I can fish and explore and what not."

"The cruise ships make stops you can fish or do whatever you want."

"Yeah," I chimed in, "But I've seen pictures of those deal where it's wall to wall people gathered in a stream. When I go I want a grizzly bear to be on the opposite bank not some fat guy from Iowa."

At this point my wife Jennifer hit me and said motioned to the fat guy in front of us who'd spoken up earlier. "

"What?" I said, "I didn't mean him."

Seconds later he steps up to the counter and tells the attendant he's from ... you guessed it -- Iowa City. What are the odds?

26 comments:

Bea said...

LOL That is just too funny! I wish I could have seen your face!

Patti said...

you sooo should have known. and here's an alaskan cruise ship story: my inlaws went on one of those fantastic cruises only to have their big-ass ship catch fire. the next thing we know the neighbors are calling and telling us to turn on cnn. yep, sure enough there's the ship on fire being evacuated. after they got home and were comped tickets they tried to give them to us. i said hell no. no cnn for me bub.

The Anti-Wife said...

Yum. Feet food.

Robin said...

Need some toe jam to go with that?!
Sounds like something straight out of my life! My mouth is generally ahead of my brain unfortunately.
Too funny.

spyscribbler said...

Wow! I'm impressed!

That's hilarious.

preTzel said...

Hey - what's wrong with fat guys from Iowa? *Harumph* :D

Well, I don't want to go on a cruise and I hate flying so I think I'll keep my fat arse in Iowa catching Large Mouth Bass and Catfish. :D

Charles Gramlich said...

Geeze. I'm rolling on the floor here. That's hilarious, but probably more funny for us than it was for you and the wife a the moment.

yellowdog granny said...

boy howdy, it's nice to know i'm not the only person that is so deft at inserting foot in mouth..must be a texas thang

Michele said...

LOL! That would so be me.

And you will never catch me going on cruise. I've never known one person who has gone on one who hasn't gotten the flu (or other virus) with 250 other people or there's a news story about someone falling overboard or there's fire (like Patti's comment above...thanks for that! glad your in-laws are safe.) or there's bomb threat. Not to mention you're out in the middle of the ocean...I've seen Titanic (I don't care if it's a Hawaiian cruise). No thank you.

Um, can you tell I've thought about this a lot? ::shudder::

Barrie said...

Ouch!

Marla said...

That is too funny. What are the odds of that happening. I am from Iowa too.

Made for a great blog post.

Packsaddle said...

you're in vegas and asking us about odds?

btw, the odds were roughly 1:50 that he was from iowa.

not really, though, because he could have been from another country, which would have increased the odds to about 1:194.

of course, that doesn't take into account.....never mind.

Barbara Martin said...

Talk about putting your foot in your mouth, Travis. Priceless. I bet the guy from Iowa was thrilled. But thanks for the tale, great stuff.

Lana Gramlich said...

Isn't that EXACTLY how such things seem to go, though? As though the entire universe aligns just to make us look like idiots. If there's a god, he must be ROFL.

Beth said...

Thats the exact type of thing I do on a far too regular basis!

Anonymous said...

Jenn says:

Ohh Iowa men. I will be using that line quite a bit next week when we go fishing in New Mexico. Man I am glad I am fishing next to some fat guy from Texas.

DrillerAA said...

Been there done that! I'm sure that some days my breath smells like shoe leather.
I wouldn't mind seeing both sides of Alaska. I'd like to see the whales and iceburgs from the cruise ship, but I'd love to fly in to a fish camp with a guide and spend a week fishing with just an occasional bear as a companion.

Alyssa Goodnight said...

Yikes! Sounds like something that might happen to me. I'm always getting shushed. :)

Rocketstar said...

Hilarious.

holly said...

WHOA! you don't want that kinda karma, dude!

Mary Ann said...

It may not be as bad as you think. The fat guy probably thinks he's the great-looking guy from Iowa. Denial is not all bad.

lyzzydee said...

Brilliant, I so wish that I had been a fly on the wall for that one!!!

AA said...

And that, my friend, is why you're a writer. :P

Scott Lessard said...

Travis,

Thanks for stopping by my site and commenting...

We must be kindred spirits. Although from NY, I feel like I was meant for Texas, and I've even been to Amarillo a couple of times (my wife has family up there).

I just returned from Vegas, and failed to heed your advice about "not getting the casino back through the buffet". In fact, in preparation for the losses to come, I STARTED at the buffet.

Lastly, I am going to Alaska next month not for a cruise, but for some sightseeing and a couple of days of halibut fishing. No cruise for me.

Oh, and I've done what you did way too may times to recount.

Now, if you tell me that you like to hunt, we'll REALY need to talk.

SL

Melissa Marsh said...

hahahaha...

If you ever want to go to Alaska, I've got a friend up there who has a great fishing guide business. :-)

Monnik said...

Oh my gosh. Too funny!

But embarrassing.