Yo-ho me hearties! Listen up, this be yer Captain talking.
As a rum swilling, bushy-bearded, Plundered Booty writing pillager I am obligated by the code to take part in Talk Like A Pirate Day. But hold on to yer sails, landlubber, because I was issued a challenge by me piratey brethren, Bubblewench. She bet me that I wouldn't yank me cutlass and cross swards with her, so to speak.
Her challenge? To help Save the Ta-ta's.
Now for ye who hasn't docked their ship in many a port let me tell ya. The ta-ta's aren't that string of islands on the leeward side of the Tortugas, so if that's what you're a thinking then more than your leg is wooden.
Ta-ta's are as soft an billowy as a sail in a gentle sea breeze. They be the jewel of a many a man's eye. Yet they can be as dangerous for a pirate as being pinned between a hurricane and the Royal Navy. Many a sailor has been blinded by the pursuit of the one treasure ye can't bury.
Least not without her getting a might chapped at ye.
Some of the port side wenches have figured out how to earn a pretty coin with their ta-ta's. Others guard their bounty and not even the shiniest of Spanish galleon can persuade them to share the booty. Shameless I tell ye, but that is a tale for another day.
Bubblewench has commissioned me to talk about the risk that lurks within the reward. Like the curse of Davy Jones there be a dark force that threatens the ta-ta's. It goes by the name of Cancer. And by clicking here you can help wenches, maidens, and other assorted girlies get their business checked over with a mammogram. That appears to be some kind o' fancy looking glass apparatus, but that alone t'ain't good enough.
Doc's got nothing on us brave buccaneers. We pirates got a sixth-sense about danger so why not let us do a bit of exploring as well. Finding one of those cursed cancer cells can't feel no different than finding a pearl inside an oyster. A bit of squeezing and checking from a set of skilled hands just might save yer life. So share the bounty and help yourself live to sail another day.
Seriously, that was a crappy pirate post, but by clicking here you can help make it possible for women to get checked out.
By the way the above pic of me was from last Halloween for those who were not reading back then.