Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Dear John

I just read this story in the USA Today.

An Ohio fourth grade teacher, who moonlighted as a prostitute, arranged an afternoon tryst on her school computer. They ditched a class to go meet her John.

Talk about a wide range in career choices. Maybe she just really got into that old Van Halen song Hot For Teacher. In the video for that one the teacher was an stripper or exotic dancer of you want me to be politically correct.

I suppose this is yet another sign of the times.

In other news, house hunting is no fun. I wanted to say it sucks, heck given the lead in for this post I wanted to say it sucks harder than a 4th grade teacher with a second job, but I thought no, that's not appropriate. Of course now I've gone over that bridge anyway.

I did enter my novel Plundered Booty (geeze I didn't realize how bad this random post was going to get when I started writing it but the theme just won't die) in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel contest. I'll find out sometime around March 16th of I made the cut from 10,000 down to 500.

In other writing news , I've gotten back to work on my creative nonfiction project that is based on my old feedstore chronicle stories. Writing humor has been good for my mood though it's not the easiest task when you have a million things on your mind.

In other randomness my oldest son had his first communion last Saturday night. The first time he put on his suit he proudly looked at himself in the mirror and proclaimed, "I look like money."

And now that I've covered Elementary School hookers, the vacuum that is house hunting, Plundered Booty, and well clothed Catholicism I'm going to bow out. Doesn't get much more random than that.

50 comments:

Annie said...

I look like money...bet the teacher said that too!

LMAO

Needed this today! Thanks!

Dawn Anon said...

HAhahahaha! Your paragraph that started with "In other news" made me laugh so hard that I believe the neighbors probably heard!

Then i come to comment and Annie nearly made me wet myself!

haha... great stuff folks, great stuff.

Patti said...

first communion, house hunting, book in a comp...things are poppin'!

(not to mention the teacher. HEY! i figured since you went there....)

Crystal Phares said...

I love randomness.

The teacher thing....yeah, well, that's interesting.

Glad you are doing better, and I totally agree, house hunting sucks!

Hestias Gem said...

Thanks for the giggles

Barbara Martin said...

Good luck with your 'Plundered Booty'.

huddlekay said...

I love randomness. Makes me feel like I'm not so alone in the world. I go through so many random thoughts in a day, it's scary!

Georgie B said...

Love the random thought post.

Haven't done one myself in a while (probably because I found full length topics to bloviate about), so it's nice to see a good structured one elsewhere.

Jenster said...

Picturing my 4th grade teacher moonlighting as a hooker makes me laugh heartily.

"I look like money". LOL!!

May you find the house of your dreams ASAP!

Beth said...

why oh WHY do all the crazy people have to come form OHIO????

Zoe Winters said...

LMAO @ "It sucks harder than a 4th grade teacher with a second job" You're just a little evil haha.

And that cracks me up about "range of career choices"

OMG contests will make you insane. Good luck! If there is any public voting, let me know.

Josh said...

dam, that is a wide range of a blog if i have ever seen one man :)

Charles Gramlich said...

"I look like Money." sounds like a line you'll have to use in a book. Good luck with Plundered Booty.

Monnik said...

ha - random posts are the best.

Congrats to your little man on his first Communion. "I look like money." good stuff.

Mystery Robin said...

Your kids sound hilarious! I think they need to meet Holly Kennedy's boys!

Phats said...

Wow this post has a little bit of everything. I am glad that you warned me not to set up my prostituting adventures on a work computer. I can't believe this lady was a teacher how awful

Lana Gramlich said...

Good luck w/the house hunting & Plundered Booty! I'm sure the PERFECT house will find you soon.

Cloudia said...

And yet . . . 18 folks like it and want to say: "Aloha,"
YOU Money, Travis!

Teresa said...

Good luck with the house hunting and with your Plundered Booty. Warn your sons about 4th grade teachers, especially when they look like money.

cher said...

phats-look at you-reading n everything.

Travis- did you heart that? did you lock the door?

the walking man said...

12 months of house hunting here...and still looking.

Chris Eldin said...

I love your randomness!
I saw that article and shook my head. I would argue that what she does after hours is her business...but apparently this wasn't after hours. Geez! Feel sorry for the parents who have to come up with explanations....

Janna Qualman said...

Huzzah, for every gosh-darn random bit of goodness! :)

kim said...

I love how you managed to string it all together anyway.

Great post to start the day with a laugh.

Beth said...

Random is good - gives us a glimpse into how your life is going.
Love your son's observation!
And best of luck with the novel.

Melanie Avila said...

This post made me smile. :)

Good luck getting into the top 500!

Deborah Elliott-Upton said...

Looking for a home? Check out my blog today at www.criminalbrief.com Travis. It seems we are traveling the same circles yet again.

Beans said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Beans said...

They say you don't go into teaching for the money, guess you have to earn a little extra somehow in these hard times! :) Best of luck with all of your uncertainties right now. Glad you are doing well.

WendyCinNYC said...

My fourth grade teacher was a very old, very grouchy woman. But who knows--some people go for that thing. I shudder at THAT particular image.

Poetry Sue said...

ha ha ha ha.... what a great unintentional theme to a random post... LOL

Michele said...

Love this post...hilarious! And the comments! LOL

Good luck with the house hunting and with Plundered Booty. :)

And congratulations on your son's First Communion.

theneatos said...

zomg ... the visual of the 4th grade teacher (being that my 4th grade teacher, Mr. Rice was bald, had thick glasses and wore pants with a stitched in front seam) sucking like house hunting ... man ... great visual. Thanks for that. I think I am scarred now.

jerseygirl89 said...

Wow, I'm pretty sure that was the best random post I have ever read.

Good luck with the book and with house hunting!

laughingwolf said...

lol... good stuff travis ;)

have fun with the tales...

Melissa Marsh said...

Man...love what your son said! Hahaha. Yes, house-hunting does suck. Hope you find one that fits your needs soon.

lyzzydee said...

Ah bless him, I bet he looked a picture. Are you buying a new house? Not rebuilding??

WordVixen said...

OMG- This will teach me to have too many tabs open. I thought I was reading a friend's mommy blog... First I laughed hysterically that she would post about a prostitute teacher. The house hunt didn't tip me off since she and her hubs just split... But then I read the entering Plundered Booty, and it freaked me out! Then I glanced over, saw your pic... had a *lost my mind* moment, and now I'm fine.

But I'm going to be much more careful about multiple tabs in future.

Reb said...

LOL, wonderful random post. It's great how you managed to run a wee theme through it all.

Good luck house hunting and with Plundered Booty.

Lauren said...

Wow, that's a crazy story.

Good luck with your submission. I'm sure you'll do great!

Passage of a Woman said...

And yet the theme persisted - right down to the "I look like money." What a great giggle. Thanks for sharing. Life really is funny.

Barrie said...

I wanna look like money!

J. L. Krueger said...

That was great laughs! You do a good job of producing coherent randomness.

Vodka Mom said...

The funny thing is, I totally followed that post. What does that tell you???????

Stacy said...

"I look like money"??

That's priceless. Be sure to tell him he looks like money on his wedding day.

dee said...

well, you know you have to look at multiple sources of income when the economy tanks, she's just a little more creative than most....on another note,

One of our new authors with TAG Publishing is a humorist as well and wrote about his misadventures camping and fishing..the book is coming out right before father's day....when (not if) you finish your creative nonfiction, we would love for you to consider sending it to us to review for possible publication....

Bina said...

Not sure what to say about the prostitute/teacher. I guess what she does on her OWN time and OWN computer is her business, but dang, right there where anyone can access it? STUPID!

And wow! Good luck on Plundered Booty! I am SO rooting for you!

And in all honesty, I LOVE house hunting when I was getting a divorce. Maybe it's the feeling of accomplishment I got from it. I mean, here I was getting ready to be single mother, and I could afford to buy my OWN freaking house! And a brand new one at that. A one that no one else had ever lived in. I would spend weekends just driving around new subdivisions and stopping and walking through houses. I didn't have an agent, I would just ask the contruction people if I could look and ask who was building the house.

I have an idea. You want ME to come look for a house for you? LOL

Junosmom said...

Hi Travis - I'm sending you Cloudia's book on Monday. Remember to link to where you got it, to where you send it, and do a little blurb on it. Maybe we can do some other books like that of this circle of writers. I'm interested to see where her book ends up.

Nice ramble today. Gotta let the words go where they will.

Alyssa Goodnight said...

Good for you in entering the Amazon Breakout Novel Contest! Best of luck!

And your son must be a chip off the old block. :)

angel, jr. said...

Congrats on his first communion!