Thursday, May 21, 2009

Blowholes and Gum Drops and Barley with Hops

Holier than thou, Priggish, Do-Gooder, Strait-laced, Prudish, Old-Fashioned, Puritanical, Prim, Proper, Conservative, Teetotaler.

All adjectives often used to describe people. People that fall into the goody-goody category.

Speaking of goody-goodies ... Why do they get all the gumdrops? Oh that's right, because the rest of us get all the booze.

Seriously, is there any sillier word grouping that goody-goody?

We don't don't call hell raisers baddy-baddies. And for good reason. Because they would kick you square in the arse if you labeled them with such nonsense.

No, I'm not going anywhere with this observation just simply sharing a recent nugget of my mind drippings. Matter of fact this entire post isn't going anywhere in particular. I'm just blogging to amuse myself I guess because I can't seem to string a cohesive thought lately much less a well put together post.

My youngest continues on with his fascination with animals butts. He calls ham pig butt, and back in hunting season he wanted to know why animals only have holes and not butt cracks. Last night he wanted to know, why whales, and dolphins are the only animals with blowholes. As if on cue his older brother released a bit of flatulence before I could answer and in perfect deadpan Z says, "See, that's why butts should be called blowholes."

I fully expect my wife to reprimand me for once again being gross on my blog, BUT (pun intended) being nice isn't all it's cracked up to be. After all, I don't want anybody calling me a goody-goody.

Saying that, I must admit that I do have a tender heart. Monday night my youngest child, the kid we've often called Baby Z since his arrival, the butt man himself graduated from kindergarten. I was and am quite proud of him because despite being a hoodlum of epic proportions at home, he is a model student. Respectful of his teachers, quiet and eager to learn, and if I do say so myself, downright brilliant at times.

But despite my pride, I was truly saddened to watch his class sing and accept their graduation certificates the other night. My eyes might have even teared up a time or two during the slide show. I can't believe how fast these first six years have gone.

Somehow it was easier with my older son. Maybe because I knew I had another child to come along a few years later. But Z is our last. There will be no more Erwin spawn to come along. I will never again have a kindergartner. Never again have a child lose their first tooth. Never again see that expression of pure excitement in my child's eyes at the promise of their first ever day of school.

Sure I know there will be lots of other exciting days to come. Of first times to experience and new adventures for us to have, but on that one night I couldn't help but think of all the ones we've already had. So go ahead and call me what you will, a nostalgic fool, a sentimental sap, yes even a goody-goody, but damn it, at least give me a gumdrop if you do.

And come on admit it, the title of this post is more accurate than Snips and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails.


David Cranmer said...

My pick for best post title of the year.

Rebecca said...

What about "Goody-Two-Shoes"? Where exactly did that one come from?

And, I just have to share this story because I think you'll enjoy son went to school a few weeks ago telling everyone that they just HAVE to play Pirates of the Caribean online because you get to learn how to shoot guns and drink rum.

powdergirl said...

Nice Post.
My boys are 13 and 11 and they're still pretty sweet, but I do miss the younger years when all it took to invoke awe in their eyes was turning over a rock or a spadeful of earth.
And I miss the pats on the cheek from their then little hands.

sex scenes at starbucks said...

I love watching the kids grow up. They all just get better and more fun as they go, don't they?

Penelope said...

What is it with five-year-olds and butt humor???


Heather said...

I'd take beer over gumdrops any day.

Love the timing of the blow hole ... !

I remember when TN was getting her shots for Kindergarten she screamed bloody murder that she did not want to go to school after all ... man, I miss those days. Now she tells me that William sits by her b/c he "likes her likes her" and she is 8.

Rebecca - love that your son told school about POC.

gigi-hawaii said...

When you have grandkids, you will again experience kindergarten graduations.

Reb said...

Love the title, of course, now the song is stuck in my head!

pattinase (abbott) said...

How about a dressy dress? I always liked that one.

Anonymous said...

Here ya go, Travis:

Next year, you get to experience the joys of HOMEWORK.

And yeah, the last kid does bring his own little melancholia, which is, I guess, why the baby of the family is always so spoiled. Spoil 'em both, in the best possible ways.

And get a puppy. They'll be losing teeth all over the carpet. Ouch.

the walking man said...

Dude...You may have teared up a bit when baby Z graduated kindergarten but it is nothing like the wailing and moaning that will go on during the teenage years as the boys and their friends descend on your house as locusts on a field and raid the refrigerator.

G said...

Oooooookay....I see we're traveling down the long lonesome tangent road this month.

Not that it's a bad thing mind you, because (at least for me), its an excellent way to jumpstart one's writing.

Or floundering.

DrillerAA09 said...

Well, goody-goody for you!
I know how you feel. Even as a grandpa, it does sting a bit when the youngest and last grandchild starts passing through the milestones of life.
Have a wonderful Holiday week-end.

Melanie Avila said...

I didn't have any type of graduation until high school. I feel like I missed out.

Congrats to your little one. :)

M. L. Kiner said...

"The Hong Kong Connection" is a legal thriller about a gutsy female attorney who takes on high ranking International officials. It's a taut, rollercoaster of a ride from New York to Palm Beach to Washington D.C. to Hong Kong. The plot is expertly woven, the characters persuasive, and the dialogue snappy and spot on.



laughingwolf said...

what about 'prissy'?

like a character on a cop show said: ipso this, ye prissy bitch! :O

more fun to come though, travis... my youngest turned 24 earlier this month... yup, time flies... i still remember the day he was born, as if it was yesterday

Charles Gramlich said...

What about the Sorta-naughties, sorta naughties?

Great post. I enjoyed this one much. Made me think of my own son a lot, who is already over 21 and I can't believe how it happened.

Cheryl Wray said...

Baddy baddies. I love it!!!

Ello said...

Awwwww, Travis! I understand. My youngest starts kindergarten in the fall and I am already starting to tear up about it.

Chris Eldin said...

You had me where your kids questioned the lack of animal butt crack!

No photos?
:-) Just kidding, that would be kinda gross.

Terrie Farley Moran said...

Goody goody is better than Goody Two Shoes which makes no sense to me!

Oh, I know that feeling. With each milestone a child passes, you can feel him walking out the door. fortunately you have many years left before the boys actually do.


Barrie said...

My youngest turns 9 next week. And I'm thinking I'd better enjoy my last year with a child in single digits!

Lana Gramlich said...

Geeze...High School Graduation's probably going to WRECK you! ;) (Hang in there, there's still a lot of life to go through with the chillins!)