Sunday, July 12, 2009

Blood Sucking Fat Guys in Corduroy

Can't believe I have posted since last Tuesday. The good news is I've been busy writing and querying. I've changed the name of my novel A River Without Water to Waiting On The River. I also revamped my query and have been sending it out while I revise Plundered Booty.

The two novels are vastly different, one is a romance and the other an absurd comedy but I enjoy writing different things. One of these days when I finally break in I'll concentrate on building my name in one genre and style but until then I'll keep writing and telling the stories that come to mind. Waiting on the River has gained some interest from several agents so I'm hoping it finds some legs.

It's been hotter than the thighs of a fat dude wearing corduroy here in the Texas Panhandle, so I've also been watching more TV than usual.

Any of you ever watch the HBO series True Blood?

My wife pointed out something as we watched the other night. Unlike Edward's ilk in Twilight, the vampire's of True Blood cannot be exposed to sunlight, yet Bill had a definite tan line around his bare butt. I hadn't noticed, but leave it to my wife to scrutinize Bill's buns with great intensity. Truth be told, I think she'd rather have a look at the fella that plays Edward. Of course Johnny Depp would be even better.

Speaking of vampires, do they all have weak necks? If not why does every actor that portrays one tuck his chin down close to his chest and stare at menacingly beneath furrowed brows. Come on vampire dudes, raise your chins and stare menacingly straight at someone.

For the record, I haven't read any of the Twilight or Sookie Stackhouse novels, but I have seen the movie and the series, and my money would be on Ol' Bill to whoop Edward in an all out UFC style vampire brawl. Sure Edward climbs a tree like a squirrel on crack, but Bill wields a mean bar tap.

And Bill has the better side of things when it comes to lovers. Give me Sookie's sugary sweet southern drawl over Bella's uber-anxious whining any day.

But Twilight wins in the dietary category. I'd rather drain the blood of a deer, than suck down the dregs of some synthetic concoction from a bottle.

And Edward has a much cooler car. Bill doesn't even seem to own one. He's always forced to drive that goofy little yellow contraption of Sookie's.

I give it to both for getting rid of the old standard Transylvania accent. After all, Sesame Street's Count is the only one who can really pull that dialect off.

All in all I prefer to the vamps of True Blood, but to my way of thinking the HBO series Rome was the cable network's best effort to date. Yes, even better than The Sopranos.

Differing opinions?

23 comments:

pattinase (abbott) said...

We like TRUE BLOOD, but it took a while to get into it.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Your wife has a keen eye -- tan line, LOL!

MTBLaura said...

"Speaking of vampires, do they all have weak necks? If not why does every actor that portrays one tuck his chin down close to his chest and stare at menacingly beneath furrowed brows."


Bwahahaaaaha!! Too funny. I really hope your absurd comedy does get picked up by someone. I for one will definitely be one who wants to read that!

Now, I just may have to watch True Blood just to see what you are talking about because evidently all the *cool* kids watch it. I feel so out of the loop. :-)

Jason said...

Uhm. No. Nothing was better than the Sopranos. Fuhgeddaboudit.

sybil law said...

Rome - I freaking LOVED Rome, but better than The Sopranos? Hmm.... they're just two different things to me, and I loved them both completely for what they were.
But I can't help you on the vampire front, because I haven't seen Twilight (nor do I have any desire to), and I've not seen True Blood, either.
However, I am willing to bet that an older, more buff vampire would kick that scrawny, emo vampire's butt any day.

DebraLSchubert said...

I'm SO not into vampires, although, I do love The Count on Sesame Street. No one could do it better, so why try? If I was ever to watch such a thing, I'd hope to do so with your wife's keen eyes.;-)

Jenn Jilks said...

You always know how to get a headline!
We are still cool, with clouds and low temperatures. You are welcome to visit My Muskoka! Glad your REAL writing is going well.
I wrote a poem today. It was a good feeling.

Melissa Marsh said...

I've never seen TRUE BLOOD or TWILIGHT and I don't expect that to change anytime soon. I am just not a fan of vampires. Never have been, not even when Brad Pitt was a vampire. I just find the whole concept uber creepy and downright gross. ;P

jjdebenedictis said...

Blood Sucking Fat Guys in Corduroy

Now there's an idea for a humorous vampire story. Why do these vampire dudes all seem to be hunky? Does one really need to go get six-pack abs to chase down prey, especially when one is preternaturally strong and fast? Of course not. One could feed on couch potatoes exclusively.

Angie Ledbetter said...

Great news on the querying progress! And I think today's post title would make a great one for a short story. :)

Teresa said...

I'm not into vampires, but I loved the simile "hotter than the thighs of a fat dude wearing corduroys". You have a way with words, Travis. Hope both your novels get printed and sold by the 1000s.

writtenwyrdd said...

I just watched True Blood's season one last week, and I really liked it. They did sex it up and change it somewhat for the small screen, but it worked really well.

Twilight the movie was way more lame than the books. the sparkly vampire schtick was silly as hell in the movie, but I could ignore the shimmery visual while reading. On the big screen it gave me giggle fits.

sex scenes at starbucks said...

I miss ROME!!! I loved that show.

True Blood is very well done (last year better than this year, but still, it's better than most of what's on). Twilight makes me sort of shiver like I might throw up. Ever since I read a hilarious synopsis of it, I can't help but just laugh.

Of course whats-her-face is laughing all the way to the bank.

Reb said...

I haven't seen either one, not sure I will though. I like a bit of time between similar series. I think my favourite vampires have been George Hamilton in "Love Bites" & Rutger Hauer in "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" - the movie, the one that started it all. Never watched the tv show of that, can't stand SMG. Did like the spin off of the vampire - whatshisname though ;)

stu said...

I've read the Sookie Stackhouse books, but still have to wait another week for the series.

the walking man said...

I have the opinion that I still don't have HBO.

Melanie Avila said...

We get the commercials for True Blood her (every five minutes) but we don't have HBO. I'm very curious about it though. I've read/watched all the Twilight nonsense and think I'd like Bill better, unless, of course, there's a Jacob in the midst. :P

March to the Sea said...

I watched Season 1 off Netflix and it didn't blow me away. I feel like something is wrong w/me because so many people love it. I liked the fact most people (females mostly) wore clothing 1 size (at least) too small but it was "ehh" I will probably rent season 2 and see if it does anything for me then.

WordVixen said...

I'll go with Johnny Depp. I'm so not into vampires, but I might reconsider for him...

By the way, I love the title of this post, and you'll never convince me that it wouldn't make an awesome vampiric sit-com.

Barrie said...

What an interesting vamp comparison!

lyzzydee said...

I think they have weak necks because they are tryinmg to protect them from other vampires.....silly!!!!!

Travis' Wife said...

Bil has a car you ding dong. It is a good show. Johnny Depp would make a good vamp he looked good as Mr. Todd the crazy barber he would just need teeth. I cannot wait for Alice in Wonderland to come out it looks good. Steve Burton is just the right kind of guy for the job.

your other wife or ex wife now? said...

who knew you liked vampires so much!!!!