Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Man Detergent

"Smell my face."

That's an odd command anytime, but when it comes from an 8 year old boy there is extra cause for concern. I'd just picked up my boys from my mom's house when T the oldest made that very statement.

Needless to say I declined, but he insisted. "Come on Dad. Just smell my face."
"Why?" "Because Meme bought me some man detergent at Wal-Mart."
"Some what?"
"Man detergent," he said with a bit of extra bravado to his voice.
"What is man detergent?" I asked.


Now before I go on let me say that T has always been a bit girl crazy. He got in trouble numerous times in preschool for kissing one particular school. When I told him he couldn't kiss girls at school he said it was okay because she wanted him to. Then in Kindergarten he got in trouble again for kissing this time a first grader. Once again I lit into him about kissing girls particularly at school. His answer. We went out in the field so we weren't really at school. Over the years we have gotten his lips under control but he has proposed to three different girls all at least 8 years older than him.

Yes I fear what will happen once puberty really strikes, but back to my question of what man detergent is.

"You know Dad. Like perfume for boys. The stuff that smells good. Meme bought me some and it's going to drive the girls WILD. Now please smell my face."

I wish you could have heard the excitement in his voice when he uttered the word wild.

"It's called cologne not man detergent," I explained. "And you can't wear it to school when it starts."
"Why not?"

At this point he dug in a Wal-Mart bag and produced a bottle of Gillette After Shave Lotion for Sensitive Skin.


I hid my smile. Here T thought he had Love Potion #9, when in actually he had little more than liquid deodorant. But at 8 that was about all he needed so I said, "Okay let me smell."
He proudly jutted out his chin.

"Yep, I said. "That will drive them wild alright."


At this point my youngest, Z, who is 6 chimed in. "Let me smell."

Now Z would rather eat worm dirt than get caught so much as talking to a girl. He's also a world-class trash talker who spends a lot of free time attacking his older brother with both verbal and physical barbs.

Z took one whiff, leaned back and said, "Now your face smells like Dad's armpits."

Somehow, I kept from laughing out loud.

28 comments:

Janna Qualman said...

I'm so glad you've posted this for posterity! Awesome story.

Carrie Wilson Link said...

Thanks for visiting my blog! How'd you find me?

Good luck with your novel!

Melanie Avila said...

There's something to be said for a nice-smelling deoderant. Mmm...

Debra She Who Seeks said...

LOL! Very cute story!

Angie Ledbetter said...

Little acorns didn't fall far from the oak, did they?

PS Get ready for when Lady Killer gets ahold of some Axe. *eww*

Cloudia said...

LOL!
Aloha ha ha
What a bunch you have ;-)


Comfort Spiral

WordVixen said...

Wow- and I thought my 5 year old nephew was precocious for finally choosing one of three girls to propose to. He choose the only one who's name he knew... Smart boy.

DebraLSchubert said...

Gotta love that man detergent! I proposed to David Cassidy, Michael Jackson, and Donny Osmond when I was 10. I probably sprayed some of my mom's perfume on for good luck. Still waiting to hear back from David and Donny. Pretty sure it's a no-go with Michael... (Ouch. My karma's gonna kick me in the butt for that one!)

Monnik said...

Ha - so cute. I love it! "Man detergent" That's good stuff.

Deanna said...

That is hilarious! I can so hear that conversation taking place. Thanks for the laugh.

LucieP said...

I love boys! My 8 year old wants to wear Axe body spray because, "it makes the ladies come."

Oh really.

I personally wear old spice deoderant and love it...it keeps me dryer and I don't have to wear any old lady powdery stuff! :)~

Rebecca said...

That's hilarious!

Jenn Jilks said...

OMG - you'll have to watch that one! I recall confiscating spray 'Man Detergent' from my gr. 7's, who thought their rapper heroes were kewl for wearing this stuff. They'd keep it in their lockers and douse each other after gym class. I had to send one to the john to wash it off. We couldn't breathe! Hygiene, humpf!

pattinase (abbott) said...

You've got a world of trouble coming down your road.

Teresa said...

This is so funny, Travis. Thanks for sharing the story. I love the term "man detergent." Boys sound like so much fun!

Miriam S.Forster said...

You didn't laugh? I admire your stoicism. I giggled just READING the story. Harharhar...

sybil law said...

That is freaking adorable!

Charles Gramlich said...

Wow, he's precocious on the girl front.

the walking man said...

OOh man now I got to not go smell that stuff, I could handle smelling the kids face but...*shudder* the image of me smelling your pits...dude why did you have to do that to me.

Hilary said...

I'll bet he also smells like trouble. Too funny. :)

Aaron said...

These boys are going to make you rich; I can just smell it.

Beth said...

Had to laugh at the interaction between your boys – and smile at their unique personalities. Parenthood can be such fun! There are always laughs to be had.

lyzzydee said...

brilliant!!!

Travis' Wife said...

Yeah and I get to live with these 3 boys!!!! I never wanted a boring life...you know what they say about what you ask for.

fakefrenchie said...

What Z said was so funny

your other wife said...

I just love those boys!!!

Barrie said...

From the mouths of babes... (or younger brothers!)

Rocketstar said...

I can't imagine what I will need to deal with having two girls in there teens in 10 years... I don't look forward to that. I'll be trying to keep boys like T away from them I guess ;o)