Dogging It

I've heard a lot of poetic waxing about the good ol' days. about a simpler time when a person's handshake actually meant something. Most of the time I think rants about the so-called good ol' days are simply the products of selective memories. After all no one wants to hold onto and remember the bad stuff, so I understand that inclination.

They way i see it there is a tragic flaw to the whole concept of a handshake, whether that hand shake be offered as the punctuation on a sealed deal or even as a simple greeting. And that flaw is that there is no commitment to it. It takes nothing to stick out your paw and grasp another.

Heck, just look at the handshakes most frequent users ... politicians and car dealers. That alone ought to be enough to shed the handshake in a negative light.

Step on any car lot in America and chances are you'll have some dude with slicked back hair and over-starched slacks reaching for your hand. Or get anywhere near a political candidate and see how eager he is to grab on and promise to represent your true interests. Neither of this fellas gives a damn about really helping you but they try to make it seems as if they do by simply shaking your hand.

Know what I say? Dogs are more advanced than humans.

Now I know that every comedian in the land has made mention of the way dogs sniff one another when they first meet. And like you I cringe at the very thought of walking up to a stranger and immediately taking a whiff of their butt, but you gotta admit that kind of get-to-know you gesture comes with a certain commitment that a handshake simply can't compete with.


And you gotta admit, we'd find out real fast just how bad that salesman wanted to make a sale. Or how far that candidate was willing to go for your vote.

And I myself will freely admit that I'd be a bit more forthcoming about my true feeling when encountering friends and acquaintances. Right now I'll stop and shake some former coworkers hand when I see him at the grocery store. Yes, even that guy who was a jerk and ratted on me for taking an extra break. But you can bet your dog biscuits that I'd walk right on by that idiot if we humans employed the same greetings as the canine world.

Matter of fact, I might not ever stop and talk to anybody ever again.



P.S. Please think of me the next time you pause to shake some one's hand.