Tall, dark and handsome. We've all heard women say that was what they are looking for.
Well I'm tall -- 6'5" to be exact.
My hair is mostly black. Yeah the percentage of gray ones increases every day, but at least for a few more years I'll still qualify as being dark.
That only leaves handsome. Given the fact I've never had to beat the ladies off with a stick this must me the category I fall short in. Nevertheless, I did get hit on at Wal-Mart this weekend.
Let me set the scene.
My buddy Rob and I are headed out to his tract of land for a bit of fishing, hiking, and gun shooting. My two boys are along to get their dose of outdoorsy adventure. We head out a little after 7:30 but we decide to stop at Wal-Mart to pick up fishing worms, tortillas and kielbasa.
My boys stay out in the truck with Rob while I run in. At that time of morning the store was nearly empty so I grab the worms to feed the fish and the meat to feed us. But then I decide o buy the boys some donuts. And nothing goes better with a donut than milk so sitting my purchases on the counter I look in the cool drink cases between the registers to see of they have any milk in them.
The clerk is busy ringing up the only other customer in line but she sees me looking and asks if I need help.
"Is there milk in any of these drink coolers?" I ask.
The Wal-Mart lade shakes her head. "No, I don't think so."
It was at this point that the customer in front of me, a somewhat plain, but decent enough looking lady in her early thirties , sized me up by letting her eyes roam up and down my body. Apparently deciding she liked me she lowered her voice and in a sultry tone, said, "I have some milk at my house."
Now let me stop here and analyze this.
I'm not the kind of guy who gets hit on often so that alone was a bit surprising. But to get hit on before 8 AM from a gal that seemed totally sober was a real shocker. Maybe she liked my worms. Maybe it was the phallic shape of the kielbasa that suddenly got her in the mood. Maybe my Irish Spring soap made her feel lucky enough to go after a pot of gold. Maybe she just digs big hairy dudes. I don't know, but I applaud her for originality. it ain't often you can use something as wholesome as a milk as the basis of a pickup line.
Maybe this particular gal simply has a different set of criteria ... Tall, dark, and not lactose intolerant.
So now I must ask the question. What's the strangest pickup situation you've ever experienced?