There are few things under the sun as pure as the joy of a child. And nothing brings on that joy like Christmas morning.
I still remember that eager anticipation I felt the night before ... The vow to stay up and listen for even the faintest of sounds from Santa ... The straining to hear the tinkling of bells ... the heaviness of my eyelids.
Then the surprise come morning when i realize I did fall asleep. The bounding from bed and rush to the tree.
Yep, that was pure joy.
But what if? What if I arrived at the tree only to find this stinker of a gift idea.
Sadly this little gift for kids is real. and even worse it is making the hot items list. yeah it's hot all right. It's a regular steaming pile of ...
From what I gather the kids playing this game take turns walking this plastic dog which is crammed full of a Play Doh like substance. The leash has a button that when pushed makes "gassy sounds." Eventually the gassy sound is followed by a plop and the lucky kiddo gets to clean up the aftermath. The "winner is the first child that gets to scoop poop for the third time.
Hell, not even Charlie Sheen would call that winning.
Come on people. Bring back jack, pick up sticks, hell the Stretch Armstrong I got in 1977 was better that Doggie Doo. Sure I busted it pen and to this day that goo is still stuck to the baseboard in my dad's house but at least Stretch wasn't crammed full of shit, or a substance meant to replace excrement.
Where do we go from here? A game called, Who wants to Change Granny's Depends?
As kids we don;t realize it, but it ain't that far a trip from childhood until adulthood. The time will come when every responsible adult finds themselves int he backyard, shovel in hand, wondering where they tookt he wrong turn that lead to them shoveling Fido's crap on a Saturday afternoon. Let's not speed up that journey by ruining your kids Christmas with work passed off as play.
On second thought I might just buy my buy the special edition Scotch Bright SpongeBob Action Figure complete with particle removing scrub action. That way I can watch the ball game Christmas day rather than doing dishes.