Saturday, December 29, 2007

Shove It

A lot of ya'll took up my challenge and created your own My Favorite Stuff posts after my little take on the song A Few Of My Favorite Things from The Sound Of Music. Here are the ones I know of ...

Lois from Women of Mystery.
Mom in Scrubs
Clare2E from Women of Mystery
Josephine Damian

And then there was Monnik who twisted it around and posted her least favorite things.

That's also the direction I'm going today. So here goes a partial list of my anti-favorite things, all to the tune of Take This Job and Shove It written by David Allen Coe, but first made popular by Johnny Paycheck.

Take this lettuce and shove it I ain't eating that crap anymore
My doctor can complain bout my weight until his throat is sore
Don't give me that Cholesterol bore
Take your veggies and shove it cause I ain't eating that crap anymore

Well I've been writing these books for now on seven years
And there are times when rejections have caused a few tears
And I get sicking of work at the Post office day after day
But a man's gotta eat and you better hear what I got to say

Take this lettuce and shove it I ain't eating that crap anymore
Keep your damned twigs and berries away from this carnivore
Heath nuts let me show you to the door
And take your vitamins with you, I ain't eating that crap anymore

Open up MySpace, and all I find there is spam
And not the tasty kind that that comes in a can
No I don't wanna look at your picture on another site
trust me girl your not my type

Take what your selling and shove it I'm not buying that crap anymore
Your skinny, underfed women are fake to the core
But you probably stole that picture
So take your offer and shove it, I'm not in the market for an internet whore.

PS - I know rhyming whore and picture is a stretch for those without a Texas accent but read it like this Pick-Shore.

I could go on but that seems like a good place to stop. But let me say I still do not get the MySpace phenomenon. Yes I have a page which can be found here. It is worth a visit if for no other reason than to hear Robert Earl Keen sing, Merry Christmas From The Family, but other than reconnecting with a few lost friends I still have yet to find a worthwhile function of MySpace. Have any of y'all? If so, please elaborate.

Stay tuned, I think my next post is actually going to be about the craft of writing.


~SUV Mama~ said...

LOL! Thank you for the southern-ese instructions. It's like I used to tell people about how to say Nashville- rhymes with bashful.

While I'm sure your posts about the craft of writing are fabulous, I personally enjoy the craftiness of your songwriting.

I'm adding you to my MySpace, lookout!

Charles Gramlich said...

oh yeah, that reminds me. I have a myspace page. Never used. can I sell it to anyone?

Nan Higginson said...

That southern pronunciation factor is important stuff to me (whore rhymes with pick-shore, since I'm trying to capture the drawl and the cadence and the elaborate emphasis on vowels in my southern-based stories. (Can't help it that I was born in the north!)

I'm looking for a book full of Texan colloquialisms so that one of my characters can pull out a killer comment that leaves everybody laughing. Do you have any suggestions? (The more linguisticly accurate the comments, the better - I prefer to sound authentic, and am not sure I can pull that dialect-stuff off.)

Thanks for reminding me about that gap in my research! I'd better get busy!

Write On!

alex keto said...

David Allen Coe had some bad sides to him but his song "My long hair can't cover up my redneck" is a classic.

Pretty much summarized me when I hitchhiked across Texas about a million years ago

Penelope said...

I don't have a myspace page. Myspace creeps me out. Those teenage girls who run off with 40- old- men always seem to meet on Myspace.

I have heard smaller colleges look at the Myspace, Facebook, etc. pages of their prospective students. Scholarship committees do as well. It's an easy way to eliminate people on the grossness factor.

-- P

Merry Jelinek said...

As soon as you said, David Allen Coe, these lyrics passed through my head... actually, they're still stuck there:

Well, I was drunk
the day my mom
got outta prison
and I went
to pick her up
in the rain
but before I could get
to the station in my pickup truck
she got runned over
by a danged ole train...

and I'll hang around
as long as you will let
and I never minded standin
in the rain..
you don't have to call me darlin...

okay, enough of that... You'll be happy to know that's a favorite among the drunken tavern songs in the chicagoland area...

I really just stopped in to wish you a Happy New year and let you know that I've awarded you with a Roar

Now I'm off to check all the nifty songs you've spawned ;-)

Lois Karlin said...

I can't fathom MySpace, except that I know would-be employers and conceivably agents do look for any web presence. CrimeSpace makes more sense to me...focus on folks who love mysteries, whether to read them or write them. (As for the veggies, Travis...I'm a tad concerned. Come on lad...just take three bites of the brussels sprouts and you can leave the table....)

Travis Erwin said...

SUV - It's more like thievery of my songwriting. If I had to come up with a melody on my own it would be brutal.

Charles - Just don't sale it to a spammer.

Nan- There are several books I know of on Texas colloquisms. Next time I'm at the book store I'll look through them and let you know which one I think is most accurate. Southern and Texan are not always the same thing but sometimes they overlap. Anytime you want me to read something to see if it rings true to this particular Texan I'll be glad to.

Alex - Yep that is a good one. I once saw Coe play in a bar and build a huge pyramid of beer cans as he sung over the course of three hours. Great show but I'm still uncertain how one man can down that much booze and remain upright much less coherent.

Penelope - I don't know about teenage girls but I et a ton o invites from supposedly;y twenty something year old girls wanting to share intimate pics with me.

Merry- Yes that is a bar favorite here as well complete with a few added lines that are not fit to repeat during daylight hours. And thanks for the award I'll get to it in a few days.

Lois - Do not be concerned. My body is used to running on grease and protein. the sudden appearance of a veggie would send everything int o lock down. Someday I'll tell my three green bean story for y'alls amusement.

Cicily Janus said...

As far as myspace...well, I have found work as a writer due to it, (ala Chickens magazine style) I have met editors from Harper Perennial, I have talked with famous authors about their lives, met a few of them along the way, met an agent or two because they like my "music" selection on my page, I have met and talked with and even exchanged phone numbers with a number of actors/actresses, two of which are on actual TV shows...found a great friend or two and reconnected with a billion or so people whom I am suddenly glad they didn't die between the years of high school and now.

Not to mention, my blog...Which has great success there and very little here.

But, Myspace is great if you stick with it and build your network, just like Blogger. Except I get the privilege of sending utterly ridiculous images to my friends.

But for you...I love this, the blog, what you are doing here and wouldn't want you to change a thing.

And the song...well, now the line, Take this lettuce and shove it, I aint eating this crap no more, practically made me shoot diet pepsi out of my nostrils all over my lettuce wrap.

Love ya babe,


Moanna said...

Loved the poem. Being from Missouri, I found that it rhymed even before reading the footnote re pic-shore. Not that we have whores here. Cousins, yes, whores, no.

Church Lady said...


I've not been near MySpace. For me, it would be another time suck.

Patti said...

my space...


i don't wanna go...i don't wanna do it...but i did go look at yours. does that count?

Nan Higginson said...

Thanks, Travis, for your gallant offer of previewing books on Texan colloquialisms. Your offer to check my Tex dialogue is way cool.

Mega thanks!

Josephine Damian said...

First, LMFAO over your latest song.

Second, thanks for the linky love.

Third, before I forget, all the best in the New Year!

Fourth, you've got more than one new friend request on myspace, bro. Did not know you were there. If I was a snake I could have bit you.

My first week on myspace, the editor of a new start-up e-zine asked me to submit a story. I did. He accepted it. It's a start which will lead to more. As you say, one rung at a time.

I've friended a lot of big name crime writers, some of whom are eager for me to review their books (I post reviews on my myspace blogs), and some are willing to chat with me.

Sure, there's lots of perverts and trolls, but IMO, the benefits of myspace outweigh the drawbacks. You build up a large number of friends, (including agents who have pages) and send bulletins out. It's an easy way to get out news about yourself, your writing, etc. to a great many people with just one click.

I also use it to direct traffic to my blogs. Like everything else in life, it's all about moderation.

Monnik said...

oh Travis, I love it. Good stuff.

I have a myspace page too, but I only use it to get to my daughter's page to spy on her activity from time to time. It's not really spying if she knows I have the ability and choose to use it when necessary, right?

Merry, my DH sings that DAvid Allan Coe song at Karaoke whenever he can find it. He loves it. It is pretty funny stuff...

Mom In Scrubs said...

What a great one, you have a definite knack for this kind of thing!

And thanks so much for the link and the comments on my blog...for the longest time it was like I was blogging for Monnik and a few lonely chirping crickets (who, BTW, are simply incapable of leaving

Bubblewench said...

Good one! I have a myspace page that I rarely even go on. Nope, can't figure out what the point is either.