It's been a while since I did one of my Riddle Me This posts, but after a recent conversation the idea for this post has been percolating in my noggin.
Feeling tired and run down? A bit sluggish. Need a pick-me-up that goes beyond the norm?
Well, grab yourself a funnel, a length of rubber hose, a jar of Vaseline, and a pot of coffee. (May I suggest you let it cool first.)
Yes, my friends I am serious. Okay, I don't really know if those are the tools of the trade but those are the things my mind says you will need in order to give yourself a ... coffee enema.
That was precisely my reaction when a friends casually mentioned that her mom often gave herself coffee enemas.
Why? Was my next question.
To detoxify her body. She swears by them.
First off, if somebody bent me over and poured a pot full of java down my bum I'd be swearing too, but that's not even my point. Other than my odd mental image the thing that occurred to me was who thought this up.
"Hey, Frank. I'm bored," said Bob
"Me too," answered Frank.
"Let's go play a round of golf."
"Nah I'm a little tired and run down."
"Drink some more coffee. The caffeine will make get you going."
"I drank a pot already. Besdes I tunred the burner off. It's cold by now."
Bob nodded. "Cold coffee tastes like shit."
And with one innocent phrase an idea is born.
Turning to the internet I learned that the major difference between your coffee enema and the plain vanilla (meaning saline not ice cream) enema is the caffeine. With that in mind why not go with a Mountain Dew enema. The caffiend in a can of dew combined with the carbonation bubbles ought to get you felling all tingly inside. Literally.
Actually the possibilities are endless. Starbucks can expand and have little rooms in the back. someone can invent a cardboard sleeve to go around the tubing so you won't burn your finger tips. Wait, never mind, the coffee has to already be somewhat cool. Otherwise you'll have worse problems than burnt fingers.
Doffee shops are already interesting places, but imagine sitting there with you espresso. You're munching on a scone when some guy walks in and orders a Venti Crappaccino.
So I say Riddle Me This ... explain the logic if you are a believer, deliver a testimonial. Or tell me why you would or would not ever go for a coffee enema. Me? I don't even like coffee except for the chicory kind you find down in Louisiana, and it already makes me act like Cornholio from Beavis and Butthead fame so there will be no coffee enemas for me.