How come everyone is always complaining about the crack of dawn. In one day, I read tweets that said things like ... my kid woke me up at the ass crack of dawn ... I can't stop yawing because I had to clock on at the butt crack of dawn ... Why are my neighbors loudest at the crack of dawn.
Dawn's backside gets more attention a whole swarm of plumbers derrieres. Even if you throw Ol' Joe and his butt in the mix.
All I can figure is that Dawn is one of those gals whose G-string is always showing thus creating all this attention.
But what about the beer gut of noon? Or evening's shaggy beard? Not once have I ever heard someone say, It was way past midnight's receding hairline before I got to bed last night.
If you too want to have these kind of mind opening discoveries sign up to twitter and read all the little tidbits of others lives. Yeah, it may be pointless at times but it is interesting. My twitter page can be found here.
Speaking of social networking sites, if you are a Facebooker or no anything about the site you have to watch this hilarious video.
And yeah I do have a Facebook as well, so look me up there as well.
But my favorite social site has to be, Goodreads. On this site you can see what books your friends have read and what they thought of those books. I have discovered some really good novels by checking out the rating of people who have enjoyed some of the same books I have. I don't have as many friends as I do on the other sites but just today women's fiction author Jennifer Weiner befriended me. Sure she has 673 other friends but I like to think I'm special. Seriously, I love Jennifer's books (Good In Bed, In Her Shoes, Little Earthquakes) and it made me smile to see she'd added me as one of her friends.
And thanks for all the great comments on my Amazon Breakthrough Novel pitch posts. The deadline is creeping closer and I'm still tweaking but for those interested here is my current version of the 300 word pitch.
Hank Zybeck never dreamed he'd become an outlaw. Then again, he never thought he'd have to work for a scoundrel like Junior Habershaw.
Hank has yearned to visit the Caribbean for so long, he can practically taste salt in the air, but his wife, Rachel, doesn't give a damn about his lifelong obsession with the islands. Her idea of exotic is Branson, Missouri, or The Mall of America, so no way is she going to traipse off to a foreign country only to get sand in her bikini. After thirteen years of marriage, Hank hasn't given up changing her mind, but when Junior takes over the Red Dirt, Oklahoma Ford dealership where Hank works, vacation destinations become the least of his worries. Junior is a skilled salesman himself, but he'd rather use his talents talking women into the backseat. And the woman he wants most just happens to be Hank's wife.
Junior hatches a plan to steal Hank's wife, job, and friends. Disregarding his foe, Junior even ridicules Hank for his lifelong pirate obsession. Anne Bonney, the Caribbeans most infamous female buccaneer spoke these final words to her condemned lover, “ ... if you'd fought like a man, you needn't be hang'd like a dog.” In this tale of misadventure, Hank sets out to prove that he's no dog, but even he doesn't know how far he'll go for the sake of love and the chance to live out his Caribbean dreams.
Plundered Booty is a comedic mainstream novel that blends the first person narrative style of a Kinky Friedman novel, with the laid back vibe of a Jimmy Buffet song. It goes well with either a cigar or a margarita, but don't lose that shaker of salt. You may need a few grains.
And I challenge you to come up with a new time of day/body part analogy. But creating one is the easy part what I really want to see is you use one of these phrases and then report back how it was received once you tossed it out for public consumption.