Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Random Socializing

I'm going to start this post with yet another thought that first occurred to me while reading the brief thoughts of others on twitter.

How come everyone is always complaining about the crack of dawn. In one day, I read tweets that said things like ... my kid woke me up at the ass crack of dawn ... I can't stop yawing because I had to clock on at the butt crack of dawn ... Why are my neighbors loudest at the crack of dawn.

Dawn's backside gets more attention a whole swarm of plumbers derrieres. Even if you throw Ol' Joe and his butt in the mix.

All I can figure is that Dawn is one of those gals whose G-string is always showing thus creating all this attention.

But what about the beer gut of noon? Or evening's shaggy beard? Not once have I ever heard someone say, It was way past midnight's receding hairline before I got to bed last night.

If you too want to have these kind of mind opening discoveries sign up to twitter and read all the little tidbits of others lives. Yeah, it may be pointless at times but it is interesting. My twitter page can be found here.

Speaking of social networking sites, if you are a Facebooker or no anything about the site you have to watch this hilarious video.



And yeah I do have a Facebook as well, so look me up there as well.

But my favorite social site has to be, Goodreads. On this site you can see what books your friends have read and what they thought of those books. I have discovered some really good novels by checking out the rating of people who have enjoyed some of the same books I have. I don't have as many friends as I do on the other sites but just today women's fiction author Jennifer Weiner befriended me. Sure she has 673 other friends but I like to think I'm special. Seriously, I love Jennifer's books (Good In Bed, In Her Shoes, Little Earthquakes) and it made me smile to see she'd added me as one of her friends.

And thanks for all the great comments on my Amazon Breakthrough Novel pitch posts. The deadline is creeping closer and I'm still tweaking but for those interested here is my current version of the 300 word pitch.

Hank Zybeck never dreamed he'd become an outlaw. Then again, he never thought he'd have to work for a scoundrel like Junior Habershaw.

Hank has yearned to visit the Caribbean for so long, he can practically taste salt in the air, but his wife, Rachel, doesn't give a damn about his lifelong obsession with the islands. Her idea of exotic is Branson, Missouri, or The Mall of America, so no way is she going to traipse off to a foreign country only to get sand in her bikini. After thirteen years of marriage, Hank hasn't given up changing her mind, but when Junior takes over the Red Dirt, Oklahoma Ford dealership where Hank works, vacation destinations become the least of his worries. Junior is a skilled salesman himself, but he'd rather use his talents talking women into the backseat. And the woman he wants most just happens to be Hank's wife.

Junior hatches a plan to steal Hank's wife, job, and friends. Disregarding his foe, Junior even ridicules Hank for his lifelong pirate obsession. Anne Bonney, the Caribbeans most infamous female buccaneer spoke these final words to her condemned lover, “ ... if you'd fought like a man, you needn't be hang'd like a dog.In this tale of misadventure, Hank sets out to prove that he's no dog, but even he doesn't know how far he'll go for the sake of love and the chance to live out his Caribbean dreams.

Plundered Booty is a comedic mainstream novel that blends the first person narrative style of a Kinky Friedman novel, with the laid back vibe of a Jimmy Buffet song. It goes well with either a cigar or a margarita, but don't lose that shaker of salt. You may need a few grains.


And I challenge you to come up with a new time of day/body part analogy. But creating one is the easy part what I really want to see is you use one of these phrases and then report back how it was received once you tossed it out for public consumption.

42 comments:

writtenwyrdd said...

The receding hairline of evening? That's a good one!

Michele said...

That clip is hilarious! LOL

And love your observations about the Dawn getting all the attention... good point. :)

Kristen Painter said...

The muffin top of late afternoon.
The cleavage of evening.

Now I'm going back to watch the clip.

Poetry Sue said...

the finger nail of mid afternoon

Leon Basin said...

Thanks for following me. Wonderful blog:)

Janet said...

I love the video! But you still haven't converted me to Twitter, I'm afraid. I have my hands full with AW, MySpace, and Facebook.

dizzblnd said...

you know, I never realized what a bad rap poor Dawn got before now. I've got nothing as far as a different analogy.


The new pitch is Stupendious

Patti said...

when i woke up at half past a crusty eye-booger (eye-boogers are technically body parts cause everyone knows just when you think you've extracted it, you discover there's more)this morning i was wondering what was new on the internets. facebook BURN!

Melissa Marsh said...

I LOVE that video!

Clare2e said...

Kristen- the muffin top of late afternoon, indeed!

Travis- I am liking the pitch, especially the evocative ending.

Snooty Primadona said...

I guess today was just a butt-crack kind of day. Hehehe...

spyscribbler said...

Okay, that video is HILARIOUS! Houston, we have TEARS! Isn't that the truth?!

Have you thought of starting your pitch with a big hook, a one-liner to grab everyone's attention?

(I don't know much about writing pitches. You and others know better, I'm sure! Just my two cents. :-)

Aaron said...

That video was awesome.

Here's another one to share the love:

http://vimeo.com/2944140

Paul Brazill said...

Thanks for joining the gang Mr E!

Reb said...

Loved the video. Great pitch, I'd probably read the book from that.

McKoala said...

I'm scared of losing my life to Twitter, but I'm on Facebook under my kind of secret, but most people know it, real name. I'll look you up! If a strange woman from oz friends you, that'll be me.

Cloudia said...

"But what about the beer gut of noon? Or evening's shaggy beard?"
You crack me up BIGtime! I still think of you and laugh when I see that lady in the rooster/sleeping comercial. SNORT, LOL ;-)
Aloha, Travis

Shauna Roberts said...

Maybe I'm just getting old, but I couldn't read a word of your pitch because my eyes couldn't distinguish the brown type from the black background. Have you considered using white or yellow type?

That said, I'm sure your pitch is brilliant.

alex keto said...

The last graph is a very good way of doing what is normally the boring marketing stuff.

Michelle said...

Great clip! Funny post! :)
Can't come up with a catchy body part phrase though... the baggy breasts of dusk? Nah... ;)

Hilary said...

That vid is exactly why I avoid Facebook.. from the crack of dawn until the love handles of twilight.

Josh said...

lmaol

the walking man said...

The well formed breast of the noon sun.

momcat said...

Due to the constant cloud cover and rain we hardly ever get to see Dawn's crack properly - I think we're seriously missing out!

Lauren said...

That is so funny. You crack me up. I love the receding hairline of the evening. lol.

But I agree with you about dawn getting the short end of the straw and I don't understand why. Everything is so fresh and new in the morning. I love to wake up early and feel like I'm getting in things before everyone else. It's so much easier to be productive in the morning for me. Even on vacation I'm like "sun is up so we should be too"!

Crystal Phares said...

I love the new pitch. Makes me want to read Plundered Booty even more!!

M. L. Kiner said...

"The Hong Kong Connection" is a legal thriller about a gutsy female attorney who takes on high ranking International officials. It's a taut, rollercoaster of a ride from New York to Palm Beach to Washington D.C. to Hong Kong. The plot is expertly woven, the characters persuasive, and the dialogue snappy and spot on.
www.StrategicBookPublishing.com/TheHongKongConnection.html

D said...

LMAO on Midnight's receeding hairline.

I also like KP's "The muffin top of late afternoon".

I'll let you know if I can come up with a good one, I have a friend who's perfecto at this!

Charles Gramlich said...

Such colorful language. I've wondered about the "crack of dawn" cliche. I guess I always thought it had to do with a sound. Not sure though.

Anndi said...

The booty dimples of happy hour?

I spewed my tea when I watched that video... oh, and um.. will you be my friend?

::poke::

Teresa said...

I liked the body parts of day analogies. Very Funny.

The first, second, and last paragraphs of your pitch are perfect, but I'm not sure how you segue to the quote from the female pirate. Maybe it's just because I was staring a Dawn's ass this morning after admiring Midnight's receding hairline last night, so my brain is not tracking as well as it sometimes does.

pattinase (abbott) said...

I loved GOOD READS until I started getting dozens of updates of what people were reading every day. I wonder if you can eliminate that feature.

holly said...

that vid is so frickin' funny it's unbelievable.

i confirm it.

right, i gotta go, it's the zit of tea time.

David Cranmer said...

I have now officially switched to the beer gut of noon. That vid clip was a riot!

Live and Learn the Hard Way said...

I got nothing new for you, but that clip was a riot.

Georgie B said...

"The receding hairline of the evening" sounds so much better than me saying I had a bald moment.

Glad to see you still got your warped sense of humor.

Virginia Lady said...

I like the pitch, gives a good overall of the characters and plot.

"Why am I dragging like an old woman's boobs as the sun sets?"

Lame, but the best I can do on four hours sleep and a trip to the dentist.

Note to Shauna, click 'show original post' on the comment page and you can see black type on white sceen. I do it all the time since my eyes are not what they were when I was six.

Dawn Anon said...

ahahahahaHAHA...

well, your theory about Dawn and Gstrings is not valid... waking up at the crack of Dawn is much older than Gstrings as outerwear..... trust me. I know.

personally.... I LOVE LOVE LOVE your challenge...

:)

angel, jr. said...

Funny clip...so true about facebook or any of those sites.

Lana Gramlich said...

I'm not up to a challenge right now...just too swamped.
Personally I always loved dawn. Perhaps because I worked midnights for 14 years straight.
I've seen that clip. I just deactivated my FB account...again...because of security issues (among other things.)

Linda McLaughlin said...

Years ago I had a friend who called it the "crap of dawn". I guess there are lots of people like me who don't do mornings. ;)

Melanie Avila said...

ROFL!