Sunday, October 3, 2010

Ten Literary Characters I Would Totally Make Out With #3 of the Ten for 10/10/10

Ten straight days of Top Ten lists in anticipation of the arrival of October 10th, 2010.  Why do I care so much about 10/10/10? Hell if I know, but a guy's gotta blog about something right. Feel free to join in any or all of the days with your own lists or expand on any of mine.

Okay this is actually a repeat of a post I did back in 2007 but it is one of my faves and this seemed like a good time to toss it back out there.

Ten Literary Characters I Would Totally Make Out With If I Were Single and They Were Real But I’m Not, Single I Mean, I Am Real, But I’m Also Happily Married and Want to Stay That Way So Maybe We Should Forget This..."

I agree, but I'm going to add a few things. In order for me to hook up with any of these fictional creation I too would have to be fictionalized and inserted into the novels in which they appeared, so a couple of my choices had to do as much with my desire to be in a certain book as it does with their sex appeal. And since I am a one woman kind of guy in real life I have to believe my fictional self would be as well. So, I am going to list nine runner-ups,(why they made the list and why they missed being at the top of my list) and one winner as the premiere object of my fictional affection. In reverse, David Letterman style ...

10. Stephanie Plum from the Stephanie Plum Novels by Janet Evanovich -- First off she has that whole Jersey Girl mystique about her. There have been songs, books, and movies about Jersey Girls and the closest I've ever come to meeting a Jersey Girl is a couple of Literary Agents at various writing conferences. Oh, and Jennifer, but I only know her via the blog world. Stephanie Plum has that aura of excitement and danger about her that would be fun for a while but in the end I do not think a good ol' boy from the Texas Panhandle and a gal from the Burg would have enough in common. Besides, too much stuff gets burned to the ground around here and I like my meager possessions in their current un-ashed stated. (Even more so since my home burnt to the ground after I originally wrote this)

9. Victoria Roubideaux from Plainsong and Eventide by Kent Haruf -- From the last meme you know how I feel about these books so I'd love to be written into them. Plus I feel sorry for Victoria she could use a good guy in her life, but since pity isn't the best aphrodisiac she fails to make the cut.

8. Daisy Buchanon from The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald -- I mean her allure can not be questioned. Look at the lengths to which Gatsby went to pursue her. But then again, wanting something at any cost is always dangerous so would I really want to get mixed up with her. I do think it is a shame that we've had to endure bell bottoms twice but that whole 20's flapper look has never came back in style.

7. Hermione Granger from the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling -- No I'm not a pedophile, but there was nothing in the rules of this meme that says I couldn't be written in as a teenage fictional character. Hermione is smart, loyal, brave, and cunning, but maybe a bit too bossy as well. Besides, she couldn't be all that hot. Harry spent all those weeks alone in that tent with her in the last book and not once did he make a move. And don't tell me that was out of friendship to Ron. First off Harry was mad at his friend and secondly I know full well what is at the forefront of all seventeen year old boy's minds.

6. Sophie Dempsey from Welcome To Temptation by Jennifer Crusie -- First off let me say I just want to be in a sex scene written by Ms. Crusie cause I'm afraid to admit it, but in the real world I'm not nearly as limber and flexible as her characters tend to be. Sophie sticks out in my mind as the most memorable character from a Crusie novel, but she's got a bit of conman in her as well, and she could whoop me in pool so again she doesn't quite make it to the top of the list. Her sister was hot too although I can't remember her name off the top of my head.

5. Juliet Capulet from Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare -- Okay I know it was a play and not a novel, but isn't this the love by which all others are judged? Course I don't want even my fictional self to die so this one would need an alternate ending before I was willing to take part. And wouldn't it be interesting to see how Shakespeare would have handled my Texas drawl. Of course he did use yonder. But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?
And how about this ... "Oh Travis, Travis! Where are ya Travis? Forget your pa and forget your family name! Or at least swear you love me."
Okay, so it doesn't have the same ring as ... "O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?Deny thy father and refuse thy name!Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love."
4. Scarlett O'Hara from Gone With The Wind by Margaret Mitchell -- Come on what fan of fiction wouldn't want o be written into GWTW

3. Star Wood Leigh from Star by Pamela Anderson -- Okay I haven't even read this book. But I do know it is a thinly veiled biography of Pamela Anderson's life, and therefore the character has to look like her. Yes, I'll admit it, I kind of have a thing for Pamela Anderson, even after she dissed Kid Rock who I am a big fan of. Hey, we all got to have fantasies, but since that is all this is, number four is as high as I could go.
2. Lady Brett Ashly from The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway -- Hemingway introduces her this way ... Brett was damn good-looking. If Hemingway says it, I believe it. She left a wake of men in her trail. Heck she even had impotent men lusting after her. Now that is sex appeal. But to make the top of my list a woman has to be compassionate and capable of returning my affection. Lady Brett comes up short in those departments.

And the winner is ...

1. Nymphadora Tonks from the Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling -- This gal has it all. First off the name Nymphadora practically has the word nympho right in it. Add in the fact Tonks has the ability to change her appearance on a whim. Blond one day, a redhead the next. I small petite nose or a big honking pig snout. Whatever floats your boat she can be it. Besides the physical side she's smart, tough, funny and an evil-fighting Auror. What more could a man ask for? And ... in book seven she married a werewolf -- which means she likes hairy guys. Yes siree ... Nymphadora Tonks is my choice as the fictional character I'd most want to go out and howl at the moon with.


Anonymous said...

This is totally hilarious and I must contemplate the opposite list sometime. But off the top of my head, I could definitely say Rhett Butler from GWTW.

As far as Jersey girls go - my MIL is a Jersey girl and we bonded cuz I'm a California girl. So it does make me wonder what would happen if you had a California girl/Jersey girl face-off. :)

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Hey Travis, not only is 10/10/10 coming up but this month of October also has 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays and 5 Sundays -- something which happens only once in 823 years apparently. So clearly this is a month for big things!

Charles Gramlich said...

Dejah Thoris for me, man.

Old Kitty said...

Hopefully none of them are vegetarians! LOL!

Take care

Jenn Jilks said...

I WAS ALMOST AFRAID TO READ THIS POST! One never knows what to expect with you.
Fun and funny, as always.
Cheers from Cottage Country !

Jenn Jilks said...

I WAS ALMOST AFRAID TO READ THIS POST! One never knows what to expect with you.
Fun and funny, as always.
Cheers from Cottage Country !

Mark Terry said...

Great post.

mielikki said...

I love your choices... Inspired!

Anonymous said...

*spews tea out*

Dawn said...

I love that post!!