Monday, October 4, 2010

Top 10 Signs You Have Partook In One Adult Beverage Too Many

DAY 4 of ... Ten straight days of Top 10 lists in anticipation of the arrival of October 10th, 2010.  Why do I care so much about 10/10/10? Hell if I know, but a guy's gotta blog about something right. Feel free to join in any or all of the days with your own lists or expand on any of mine.


Top 10 Signs You Have Partook In One Adult Beverage Too Many


10. Line dancing begins to seem fun and not simply an excuse for ugly people to dance sans a partner without embarrassment.


9. You begin to wonder if Bed Bath & Beyond sells those jello shot utility belts.


8. You are convinced the olive floating in your glass just winked at you.


7. You head up to the DJ booth to request some Right Said Fred and then prove the integrity of the lyrics by removing your shirt and dancing on the table. And while you may be sexy dare I say so sexy it hurts. At least it will when you fall of that table.



6. After getting kicked out of the bar you find yourself trying to explain yourself to the nice man wearing the badge. "No Mr. Olice Pofficer I did not create a scene. I was just trying to have a little fun. Perhaps I was a bit too sexy for them to handle."

5. You use your one phone call to let your ex know you are a  television star and will soon be making your screen debut on an episode of Cops.

4. Laying down, you dangle your foot off the cot in the corner of the cell and while the maneuver does make the cinderblock walls stop spinning, the same cannot be said of the contents in your gut.

3. Somewhere behind you you hear a voice say, "Here sweetie let me hold your hair back for you." It sounds kind of like Lindsay Lohan but you're too sick to turn around and check.

2. Staring into the toilet you say , "Wow! I don't remember eating that."

1. Someone whispers in your ear, "I'll show you my shank, if you show me yours.,"and you're not sure if it's a threat, or a pickup line.





15 comments:

savannah said...

YIKES! that list is enough to put anyone off drinking (in public) to excess again! *snickering* xoxox

Charles Gramlich said...

Enough to make me swear off drinking too.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Owwww, my head hurts vicariously!

Old Kitty said...

These are enough to make me go teetotal! :-)

Take care
x

Laurel said...

loving the top ten lists! And friends don't let friends request Right Said Fred.

pattinase (abbott) said...

Always like the top ten lists.

lyzzydee said...

That right said Fred line is so true!!!!!

ANNA-LYS said...

lol :-)
tnx 4 visiting my place!

Teenage Bride said...

haha thank you for that. what a laugh hahaha

Posey said...

LOL

This 10/10/10 is a cool idea. Nice work.

Rocketstar said...

Nice.

Hilary said...

Too funny.. #5 cracked me up.

David Cranmer said...

Ha. Jello shot utility belts. I dig.

the walking man said...

I guess no one ever heard of a pony tail when drinking to excess.

March to the Sea said...

they make jello shot belts?!