It's still Tuesday so I'm going to chime in for Two Line Tuesday, the weekly web feature brought to you by the fine minds over at the Women of Mystery blog.
From an as yet untitled short story ...
I'd heard the resonating heart beat of my child before, but today the thunderous twang rang louder, more definitive, and sounded exactly like a saw blade being bent to a steady rhythm.
The ultrasound technician squinted at the monitor before saying, "He's going to be a big one."
I can't decide if I want to stick to first person or write the story in third.
And from my recent reading of Me talk Pretty one Day by David Sedaris. I think writers will relate with this passage.
Unlike the faint scurry of fingers on a plastic computer keyboard, the smack and clatter of a typewriter suggests that you're actually building something. At the end of a miserable day, instead of grieving my virtual nothing, I can always look at my loaded wastepaper basket and tell myself that if I failed, at least I took a few trees down with me.
While I got a chuckle out of Sedaris's passage, I for one am grateful for the ease of writing and editing on a computer. The clickity-clack of an old fashioned typewriter might be comforting, but with my fat fingers and poor typing skills it would take me years to finish a novel.
How about y'all?
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
The Confession Booth
For as long as I can remember, my grandmother has had a somewhat morbid obsession with obituaries. She reads nearly every last word of the snippets about the recently deceased, and then guesses what caused the unlucky soul's demise.
These diagnoses go in spurts. A few years back diabetes seemed to be her favored method of death, especially if the small picture of the person seemed obese. Too skinny and she surmises AIDS to be the fatal disease. For teenagers suicide is nearly always the call, even when there is a front page story about a car load of high school students in a fatal crash.
Death is not a funny subject but this has gone on for so many years that her habit has become a source of teasing in our family. If one of us throws out a wild guess or comes across as being a bit nosy the retort is usually something like, "Now you sound like granny."
Well I'm saving them the trouble. Today I'm using this blog as sort of a confessional.
I used to work with a guy whom I never got a long with despite we both being avid sports fans. We talked, said hello, and never had a confrontation of any real sort, yet it always seemed like a competition somehow. I guess we were what you call Frenemies.
A few months back he got fired. Truth be told I didn't feel all that bad for him. He'd screwed up and he paid a price for it. His wife had left him a few months before. Then another friend saw him and told me both his car and house had been repossessed. Again, I didn't feel any great surge of sympathy.
Today I came into work and there was a note taped to the time clock. The man had died. I stood staring at the stark black ink on the white paper taped there. Shocked, I muttered, " Shit."
And then I did what my grandma has done for years. I made a wild assumption. My mind immediately whispered, "I bet he committed suicide." He'd lost everything ... his wife, his daughters, home, job, car.
I asked myself if I could have done something. He'd needed a friend. I could have picked up the phone and called. I felt true sympathy and a good bit of guilt. Then I heard that I was wrong. A massive heart attack had claimed his life. I'm still saddened that a man in his mid-forties dies so young and left behind young kids, but I m glad that he didn't just give up. I'm glad that his daughters won't wonder why he chose to leave them fatherless. And yes, I am a bit ashamed at my quickness to assign the cause of his death.
These diagnoses go in spurts. A few years back diabetes seemed to be her favored method of death, especially if the small picture of the person seemed obese. Too skinny and she surmises AIDS to be the fatal disease. For teenagers suicide is nearly always the call, even when there is a front page story about a car load of high school students in a fatal crash.
Death is not a funny subject but this has gone on for so many years that her habit has become a source of teasing in our family. If one of us throws out a wild guess or comes across as being a bit nosy the retort is usually something like, "Now you sound like granny."
Well I'm saving them the trouble. Today I'm using this blog as sort of a confessional.
I used to work with a guy whom I never got a long with despite we both being avid sports fans. We talked, said hello, and never had a confrontation of any real sort, yet it always seemed like a competition somehow. I guess we were what you call Frenemies.
A few months back he got fired. Truth be told I didn't feel all that bad for him. He'd screwed up and he paid a price for it. His wife had left him a few months before. Then another friend saw him and told me both his car and house had been repossessed. Again, I didn't feel any great surge of sympathy.
Today I came into work and there was a note taped to the time clock. The man had died. I stood staring at the stark black ink on the white paper taped there. Shocked, I muttered, " Shit."
And then I did what my grandma has done for years. I made a wild assumption. My mind immediately whispered, "I bet he committed suicide." He'd lost everything ... his wife, his daughters, home, job, car.
I asked myself if I could have done something. He'd needed a friend. I could have picked up the phone and called. I felt true sympathy and a good bit of guilt. Then I heard that I was wrong. A massive heart attack had claimed his life. I'm still saddened that a man in his mid-forties dies so young and left behind young kids, but I m glad that he didn't just give up. I'm glad that his daughters won't wonder why he chose to leave them fatherless. And yes, I am a bit ashamed at my quickness to assign the cause of his death.
Monday, September 1, 2008
My Town Monday - The Lazy Edition
I've tried to write two different My Town Monday posts and both have been lackluster at best. So I'm taking the lazy way out and posting a video I found on You Tube. I've introduced y'all to most of the things in the video already but there are girls in bikinis, meat sizzling on the grill, and some great shots of Palo Duro Canyon. Sorry, it's the best I can do this week.
Posts from other My Town Mondayers with more gumption than me this week.
Linda McLaughlin -- Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Patti Abbott -- Ann Arbor, Michigan
Barbara Martin -- Toronto, Canada
Reb -- Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
Lyzzydee -- Gouda, Holland
Barrie Summy -- Del Mar, California
Maria Geraci -- Redneck Riviera, Florida
Sam Winston -- Montchauvet, France
Yellow Dog Granny -- West, Texas
Britta Coleman --Fort Worth, Texas
Debra -- Peninsula, Ohio
Junosmom -- Kentucky
PreTzel -- Des Moines, Iowa
Posts from other My Town Mondayers with more gumption than me this week.
Linda McLaughlin -- Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Patti Abbott -- Ann Arbor, Michigan
Barbara Martin -- Toronto, Canada
Reb -- Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
Lyzzydee -- Gouda, Holland
Barrie Summy -- Del Mar, California
Maria Geraci -- Redneck Riviera, Florida
Sam Winston -- Montchauvet, France
Yellow Dog Granny -- West, Texas
Britta Coleman --Fort Worth, Texas
Debra -- Peninsula, Ohio
Junosmom -- Kentucky
PreTzel -- Des Moines, Iowa
Saturday, August 30, 2008
What I'm Up To
Last night I went to watch my first high school football game of the year. Canyon Eagles versus the Andrews Mustangs. My nephew is a senior this year and starts on Canyon's defensive line. He played well despite being double team most of the time. He did especially well in the second half when his size and strength began to wear down his opponents. The only down side to his game was when he took a 15 yard personal foul late in the first half for a blow to the opposing Quarterback's head.
Here is what an article about the Texas Panhandle's top recruits has to say about him ...
Josh Risner, Canyon
Senior, defensive tackle, 6-3, 275
Scouting report: Missed some time as a junior with an injury, but has the size and strength to be an interior force.
If you happen to know any college recruiters whisper his name in their ear.
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What else is new? I have to work all three days of the long weekend. yes, even Monday. And you thought all postal employees got the holiday off.
I've been writing a new short story but I keep going back and forth on whether it should be told in first or third person.
Still trying to decide what my next novel length project will be. I actually have far more idea than I do time to write them.
I have been querying for my comedic novel, Plundered Booty. I've managed a few partial requests and one full but overall response times from agents have been slow in coming. Maybe things will pick up now that summer is almost history.
I've done a crappy job of keepin up with my blog reading as of late, so I'll try and pop around to your sites sometime over the next few days. Adios for now.
Friday, August 29, 2008
God Hates Who?
I told those that follow me via twitter that I'd blog about my being called the anti-christ by one of my coworkers, but that is rather a long story and I'm not quite up to it today, so I'm going to tell a shorter one along the same lines.
I work with a handful of people whose political and religious leaning are to the far right. I also work with some who are just as far to the left, but most of us, myself include are somewhere in the middle. One of my flaws is the fact i like to argue. A good debate keeps your min alive and when you are toiling between the windowless, cinder block walls of a governmental agency all day you need to infuse all the excitement into the job you can. More than once I've sparked a robust discussion by taking the contrarian stance to someone opinion even though I sort of agreed with them. It's a lot more fun to play devil's advocate.
There is one particular fellow that likes to argue as much as me. 99% of the time we get along just fine but we have had some doozy debates over the years. He is a staunch Republican, and a strong believer in the religious right. Today, I'll tell you about the first time I made him mad enough to spit.
A few years back a tornado hit the small town of Happy, Texas which is just a bit south of Amarillo. Here is a picture (see note at bottom) of that very storm.
The next day the newspaper headline read something like ... Tornado Kills Two In Happy Trailer Park.
The smaller story at he bottom of the page was about the same twister destroying the community's Baptist Church.
My coworker was reading the first story at the break table and had the paper folded so that I could see the other story while sitting opposite of him. It was upside down but I could still read the Headline. Tornado Demolishes Baptist Church.
Right about now my work buddy says of the article about the husband and wife who died in their single-wide trailer house, "This is further proof that God hates mobile homes."
I chime in and point to the other article, "He must hate Baptists too."
I was simply using the same logic as my coworker, but needless to say he wasn't amused.
I probably should point out I was raised attending a Baptist Church and most of my family are still Baptists. I find it funny that people often get the maddest when you turn their own words or logic back on them.
What's the maddest you ever made a coworker?
By the way the above tornado picture came from a website called Tempest Tours. If you ever wanted to be a storm chaser and chase down a tornado give them a visit to learn how you can.
I work with a handful of people whose political and religious leaning are to the far right. I also work with some who are just as far to the left, but most of us, myself include are somewhere in the middle. One of my flaws is the fact i like to argue. A good debate keeps your min alive and when you are toiling between the windowless, cinder block walls of a governmental agency all day you need to infuse all the excitement into the job you can. More than once I've sparked a robust discussion by taking the contrarian stance to someone opinion even though I sort of agreed with them. It's a lot more fun to play devil's advocate.
There is one particular fellow that likes to argue as much as me. 99% of the time we get along just fine but we have had some doozy debates over the years. He is a staunch Republican, and a strong believer in the religious right. Today, I'll tell you about the first time I made him mad enough to spit.
A few years back a tornado hit the small town of Happy, Texas which is just a bit south of Amarillo. Here is a picture (see note at bottom) of that very storm.
The next day the newspaper headline read something like ... Tornado Kills Two In Happy Trailer Park.
The smaller story at he bottom of the page was about the same twister destroying the community's Baptist Church.
My coworker was reading the first story at the break table and had the paper folded so that I could see the other story while sitting opposite of him. It was upside down but I could still read the Headline. Tornado Demolishes Baptist Church.
Right about now my work buddy says of the article about the husband and wife who died in their single-wide trailer house, "This is further proof that God hates mobile homes."
I chime in and point to the other article, "He must hate Baptists too."
I was simply using the same logic as my coworker, but needless to say he wasn't amused.
I probably should point out I was raised attending a Baptist Church and most of my family are still Baptists. I find it funny that people often get the maddest when you turn their own words or logic back on them.
What's the maddest you ever made a coworker?
By the way the above tornado picture came from a website called Tempest Tours. If you ever wanted to be a storm chaser and chase down a tornado give them a visit to learn how you can.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
I Think I'm Pregnant
Sure laugh at that title all you want but look at the evidence.
1. My gut is swollen up like three day old roadkill. Sure it's been that way a decade but maybe I have a long gestation cycle.
2. For the last week I've been hungry all the time. Even after a Vegas buffet I was hungry a half hour later. this fact has greatly added to fact number one by the way.
3. I have odd cravings. How else do you explain that I spent nearly four bucks in the vending machines at work so I could have peanuts floating inside my bottle of Coke. The salty fizz was quite tasty yet it did not satisfy fact number 2.
4. As of yet I haven't cried for no apparent reason, but I did feel queasy this morning. Then again I feel that way every morning that I have to crawl out of bed and head to work.
5. I haven't been able to get comfortable at night and therefore haven't been sleeping well.
6. My bladder seems to be shrinking as I've had to get up several times a night the last week or so which has only added to the dilemma in number 5.
I would take a leak on one of those fancy sticks but I'm half afraid of what the results will be.
1. My gut is swollen up like three day old roadkill. Sure it's been that way a decade but maybe I have a long gestation cycle.
2. For the last week I've been hungry all the time. Even after a Vegas buffet I was hungry a half hour later. this fact has greatly added to fact number one by the way.
3. I have odd cravings. How else do you explain that I spent nearly four bucks in the vending machines at work so I could have peanuts floating inside my bottle of Coke. The salty fizz was quite tasty yet it did not satisfy fact number 2.
4. As of yet I haven't cried for no apparent reason, but I did feel queasy this morning. Then again I feel that way every morning that I have to crawl out of bed and head to work.
5. I haven't been able to get comfortable at night and therefore haven't been sleeping well.
6. My bladder seems to be shrinking as I've had to get up several times a night the last week or so which has only added to the dilemma in number 5.
I would take a leak on one of those fancy sticks but I'm half afraid of what the results will be.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
I Smell Pigskin
This afternoon I make my debut as a head football coach. I've assisted an a dozen teams over the years but this season I am the man for the juggernaut St Mary's Catholic School 2nd grade flag football squad. Should be a lot of fun. We might not win a game, but I'll consider the season a success if everyone is smiling after the last game.
Now off to a meme that Steph tagged me with and since it' s been awhile since I did one.
The rules:
1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Mention the rules.
3. Tell six unspectacular quirks of yours.
4. Tag six bloggers by linking.
5. Leave a comment for each blogger.
This isn't an easy chore since by now I've discussed most of my quirks, but here goes anyway. I'm keeping to a single theme.
1. I'm a mean video game football player. Madden or NCAA football by EA sports. Go ahead challenge but I'll warn you I like to run up the score, yes even on my seven year old. I have no mercy when the controller is in my sweaty palm.
2. I play fantasy football and have every year since 1991. Yes I am one of those guys.
3. Despite my tenure as a high school football ref I continue to curse the refs whenever I feel they have slighted either my beloved Nebraska Cornhusker or New Orleans Saints.
4. I once heckled Deion Sanders from the top tier of the Superdome. He played for the Cowboys at the time and the place was virtually empty. He was out there long before the other players to test his sore toe and I was fueled by one too many Blackened Voodoo Dixie Lagers and I harassed him until he shot me the bird. I was satisfied once I knew he'd heard my robust critique.
5. Back in my younger days I sued to wager as much as $1500 dollars a weekend on college and pro football. and this was at a time when I only earned a fourth that much each week. Those were in the days I worked at the feed store and I stopped when my boss, who bet twice what I did, got subpoenaed after our bookie was arrested.
6. While in Vegas last week I bet a whopping ten dollars on the Saints to win the Superbowl this year. Should they actually pull that off I'll get $160 dollars back.
So tell me, are you a football fan? College, NFL, or both? Who do you root for?
Now off to a meme that Steph tagged me with and since it' s been awhile since I did one.
The rules:
1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Mention the rules.
3. Tell six unspectacular quirks of yours.
4. Tag six bloggers by linking.
5. Leave a comment for each blogger.
This isn't an easy chore since by now I've discussed most of my quirks, but here goes anyway. I'm keeping to a single theme.
1. I'm a mean video game football player. Madden or NCAA football by EA sports. Go ahead challenge but I'll warn you I like to run up the score, yes even on my seven year old. I have no mercy when the controller is in my sweaty palm.
2. I play fantasy football and have every year since 1991. Yes I am one of those guys.
3. Despite my tenure as a high school football ref I continue to curse the refs whenever I feel they have slighted either my beloved Nebraska Cornhusker or New Orleans Saints.
4. I once heckled Deion Sanders from the top tier of the Superdome. He played for the Cowboys at the time and the place was virtually empty. He was out there long before the other players to test his sore toe and I was fueled by one too many Blackened Voodoo Dixie Lagers and I harassed him until he shot me the bird. I was satisfied once I knew he'd heard my robust critique.
5. Back in my younger days I sued to wager as much as $1500 dollars a weekend on college and pro football. and this was at a time when I only earned a fourth that much each week. Those were in the days I worked at the feed store and I stopped when my boss, who bet twice what I did, got subpoenaed after our bookie was arrested.
6. While in Vegas last week I bet a whopping ten dollars on the Saints to win the Superbowl this year. Should they actually pull that off I'll get $160 dollars back.
So tell me, are you a football fan? College, NFL, or both? Who do you root for?
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