Tuesday, June 12, 2007

My Life of Crime

It is probably never a good idea to confess to crime on the internet. Much less on a blog with my name plastered all over it, but for the sake of your entertainment I'm gonna do it anyway.

The Golden Light Cantina sits along sixth street in Amarillo. Back in the day this was part of historic Route 66. Now this particular stretch of the famed roadway is lined with antique stores and bars. For my money The Golden Light is the best live music venue in all of the Texas Panhandle. You'll have a hard time finding a night when they don't have something worthwhile going on.

So there we were Saturday night at the Golden Light listening to Lee Sheetz and Borderline play. Those present were myself, My wife, Cicily Janus, Kensington Editor Hilary Sares, and Jeff Campbell.

Now me and my wife are regulars at the small bar, or at least we were before we had children, but everyone else was from out of town. Cicily and Jeff, are from Colorado and of course Hilary is from New York City.

So there we were having a good time, listening to some tunes, taking an occasional turn around the small dance floor. Over the years I've known her Hilary has become quite adept at the Texas Two-Step. As a group we were four or five pitcher of Shiner Bock into a good evening when Hilary motioned for me to follow her over to the other side of the room.

Whispering the best she could over the loud music she pointed to a poster on the Ladies room door and asked me how much trouble she'd get in if she took off the wall and ... well for lack of a better term -- STOLE IT.

Now I'm not one to let my guests get thrown in jail so I volunteered to get the poster for her. About a foot and a half by two foot the poster was for a musician scheduled to play later in the month.

I went back to my table, waited for a few songs and then calmly walked over opened the women's restroom door, we're talking small one-seater bathrooms here, and while I had it open I popped the poster free from the door. Then I shut it, did what anybody who'd consumed a fair amount of beer would do, flushed and walked out with the poster in my hand. Luckily there was a back door only a few feet away and the thing was propped open to allow for better ventilation. So I walked out deposited the poster in my vehicle and then rejoined my group. All in all a heist in about forty-five seconds. Maybe I can get a part in Ocean's Fifteen or whatever number they are up to now.

What I didn't tell you earlier was that not only is Jeff Campbell a writer, but he also used to be a state policman in New Mexico. So I knowingly committed a theft with an ex cop right there to witness, but what I really want to know is how many of you reading this will be willing to contribute to my bail when the authorities read this blog?


David said...

"I have no idea who this man is, officer, but he doesn't look like the type who would commit such a crime. I think you should investigate the ex-policeman who was with him. I mean, you of all people should know what those guys are like."

Jenn said...

Good Grief, I think doing the Hokey Pokey in public is more of a crime then some card stock poster. You shaking stuff all about. I would not bail you out, but I would bring you a candy bar. Just leave the Hokey Pokey on the down low in the Pokey. That kind of stuff might give the wrong impression. Even if the Hokey Pokey is what it's all about.

Patti said...

the best part is that you flushed the toilet...genius!

Anonymous said...

"A friend will bail you out of jail, but a great friend will be sitting right next to you saying, Damn that was fun..."

I will not bail you out, but turn myself in as an accessory to the crime and then sit there with you. Maybe we could do some two-steppin in the cell or the Hokey Pokey...

I had a blast that night despite the pure exhaustion from the weekend...And your swift moves on the heist of the "poster" are those to be envied.


Jenster said...

Your stealth and cunning are epic!

Angel said...

I love this story! that is right up my alley...stealing stuff. I want to go out with you and your crew next time so you can steal me something!

so you write women's ficiton, huh? I would have never thought that, by looking at you. Never in a million years. a Lumberjack, maybe, but.......!!

Travis Erwin said...

Felling trees, penning emotional stories ... its all the same.

Sorry bluefingers, but i gotta go wtih my wif on this one, doing the Hokey Pokey in jail would not be condusive to a healthy environment.

And yes for those who did not know Jenn is my wife and so far she is the only one who has said they would not bail me out.

MommaMonkey said...

Oh crap. If stealing posters is a crime, I could have been put in jail at least ten times (that I can remember) back in my college days. Hope your friend frames that sucker. It's the least she could do, since you put your freedom on the line for her.

Thanks for visiting my blog! I'll be back.

alex keto said...

Come on Travis, Jenn said she would bring you a candy bar. I mean, isn't that enough?

Anonymous said...

Oh, that is TOO funny! I love the Golden Light Cantina, and I know all too well the convenience of that backdoor always being open, Ha ha. Wish I could have been there, maybe next year? :)

WordVixen said...

Hey- I'd totally bail you out. How else would I get my Feedstore Chronicles fix?

Think $5 would be enough?

Jenn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sabine said...

Is it even illegal to steal a musician's poster? I mean, it should be, but few people generally care about musicians... I know since I'm one myself... but no hard feelings, i probably would have taken it too if it was a cool poster.

Mom In Scrubs said...

If I were the musician, I would be flattered.
My only question: did you leave the seat up?
Of course you didn't.