Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Who's crazy Now?

This is the point in time when I start to get really sick of Oklahoma and Postal classes. Only two days left, and I'm doing my best not to st up residency in the lounge. Trust me Shiner Bock does help to calm the nerve and forget the weirdos.

Yes, the postal services National Center For Employee Development, or NCED is chocked full of weirdos. Sure I've met some good friends from all over the country here, but I've also been exposed to some real strange people, such as ...

THE TIN MAN - Used to be I saw this guy every trip to Norman and at least once I'd find myself alone on the elevator with him. Sometimes he wore a bright shiny metallic hard hat, others he would sport a ball cap with aluminum foil sticking out. One time my friend Steve looked at the guy and said, "Okay I'll bite. What's with the foil?"
The guy looked right at him and said, "They might get your brain but they won't get mine."

The Snappy Dresser - Again this guy used to be here all the time. I think there are characters that their home office kept them away at school just to reduce problems at home. This guy was a large, tall and rather hairy man, at least he was a man until all the surgeries were finished, that wore dresses and pumps.

Mr. I'm Smarter than the Instructor- Every class is issued one. they argue about ever little fact and keep you in class thirty to forty five minuted longer than need be. Think Cliff the mailman from Cheers mixed with Screech from Saved by the Bell.

The Athlete- This guy is all pumped up about the organized sports here, basketball, volleyball, softball. At least he is on Monday. Tuesday he smells like BenGay and Wednesday he can barely walk.

Then you have a plethora of run-of-the-mill oddballs. Black Sock Man. SpeedoMan at the pool. Napkin Lady, the one in the dining room that covers her entire torso with napkins and then wraps up a thousand pieces of fruit to stow away in her room, GluttonMan, the guy who eats mounds and mounds of food every meal just because its free and he thinks he's sticking it to somebody. There are more but you get the idea.

And yesterday I saw two, count them two vehicles painted like the Dukes of Hazard car, The General Lee. Okay I'll admit it back in the day I liked the show, cheese and all, but what was that twenty years ago. Sure I know they made a new movie but it stunk so bad I couldn't watch it and besides who paints their vehicle to look like a movie or television car?

Yes, I'm talking to you all you Starsky and Hutch freaks, you Mystery Van drivers(unless you got a dog that can talk and solve crime, cause then 'll let you slide), anyone with fur covering their van. Okay rant over, but man am I ready to go home.


alex keto said...

""One time my friend Steve looked at the guy and said, "Okay I'll bite. What's with the foil?"
The guy looked right at him and said, "They might get your brain but they won't get mine." ""

Hell, sounds convincing to me. Thanks for pointing out the danger. Now, if I can just finish this whole pack of juicy fruit gum, I'll have enough tin foil to cover my frontal lobes. It's a start.

alex keto said...

Follow up:

With the tin foil, Captain Kirk is no longer talking to me through his tri-corder.

Good deal.

With just a little more, I can probably also block Spock from doing his Vulcan Mind Meld routine at 8:16 p.m. every night.

Anonymous said...

Alex is kinda freaking me out knowing a little too much about Star that even how they spell it? Up until about a year ago I thought it was Dark Vader...even though I know they are two different shows.

So is the foil Shiney side up or dull? I did not know there was two sides to that either until recently.

Come home already your children are driving me insane. I need a bar...oh yeah kinda have one, but they will not go to sleep.

Anywho, killed the squash plant. I think it missed you. In reality I think I flooded it, if that is even a word. Blabbing aimlessly so I guess I will go empty the dishwasher. The real dish washer is in Oklahoma with his fellow crazy people.

Katrina said...

No wonder I have a problem getting my mail! I can't begin to tell you how many time I've been told the "checks in the mail". Could it be my checks were intercepted by aliens?

Now that I think about it--I think I talked to The Tin man on the phone. A couple years ago "a mad relative" submitted a change of address to the post office & not only got our personal mail moved somewhere else but also our business mail & checks. When I complained at the local office they gave me an #800 number to call. The man I talked to told me he couldn't tell me who or where my mail was moved to because he needed to protect that persons identity.
Never mind that it was MY MAIL! Let's protect the thief? Had to be the Tin Man--so glad now I have an explanation!

alternatefish said...

this is explains a lot about the mailmen I've had over the years...

alex keto said...

I always have the tin foil gum wrappers on my head shiney side up because the juicy fruit gum sticks better to the dull side which keeps it in place.
Might be crazy, but I know my tin foil gum wrappers.