Monday, November 12, 2007

Oh Susanna, Don't You Cry For Me!

Going out of town and not blogging for a week creates several problems. You know what he biggest one is? trying to get back in the swing. I reread the post I put up the other day and I rattled on like a squirrel on crack. Making matters worse I didn't relate have the things I meant to and the ones I did put out there sounded idiotic. I'll try to do better today as I wrap up my Vegas trip and move on to other things starting tomorrow.

Okay, so my wife went along for the first couple of days but she flew back home to Texas early Tuesday afternoon, leaving me and my buddy from work, Kim - yeah Kim is a guy, unchaperoned. I could lie and say that is when the real fun begins or I could do as Cher suggested in the comments and coyly say, What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but actually I can say once my wife left that is when my gambling losses really started. Her departure meant I no longer had to worry about entertaining her so I could full out concentrate on throwing my money away and helping the casinos pay their light bill.

Tuesday night I voluntarily took beatings at poker, blackjack, Let It Ride, roulette, and the table game three card poker. Like a trip to a proctologist named, Knuckles -- it hurt.

Wednesday afternoon started much the same way and there wasn't a drop of Vaseline in sight so I said to Kim, "Let's get a cab and head downtown to Fremont street. Maybe a change of venue will bring Lady Luck around."

So we trudge out front of the Sahara and hail a cab. Msot of the cabbies in Vegas are men. Most are foreign, generally either middle-eastern or asian.

But the cab that pulled up was driven by a blonde. A very pretty blonde I'd say in her early forties. In a sexy exotic accent she asks, "Where you guys headed."

"The Horseshoe I say since it is kind of the mecca for Texas Hold 'Em players. The place where it all began. She chats with us as she drives and of course the tally keeps clicking upward."

Finally she says, "Where are you guys from?"
"I love your accents," she says in her own.
So I ask. "How about yourself."

I kid you not, and I hope you read the old posts if you missed them, she says, "Bulgaria."

I should have gotten out and walked right then and there. First our cab bill was nearly twice as much going as coming back. Down on Fremont I again took a beating, and my luck never improved. I am certain that Lady Luck did in fact send a Bulgarian woman to deliver me to my demise but unlike the hairy weightlifting gal I suspected she sent a pretty one with a cool accent.

What are the odds of me getting in the cab driven by a Bulgarian woman after my earlier posts?
Whatever they are don't bet them. Trust me Lady Luck is a fickle-hearted whore.

On a accent related note here is something else I forget to tell you about.

Not once, twice, or even three times, but on four separate occasions some one looked at me as I was talking and said, "Where are you from, Alabama?"

Now nothing against the fine folks of Alabama, but by the fourth one I wanted to scream "What do I have a banjo growing out of my knee. Hell no I'm not from Alabama."

And for the record I do have a bit, just the slightest, tiniest, of Texas twang in my voice, but Alabama? I bet Lady Luck or Karma put them up to it. Yep, that must be it.


Patti said...

their nerve!! alabama. sheesh....

Michelle said...

Alabama?? And I think people from Alabama have seriously thick accents. Maybe your accent is thicker than you are willing to admit? LOL

preTzel said...

You shore seem like an Alabaman to me Travis. I mean no one in Texas is named in Alabama your name would be Tray - vis. ;) So I think we should all call you Tray - vis from now on.

My aunt, who still resides in Texas, has the thickest Texan accent you could ever find. What I don't like is Texas "transplants" who are there for a short time and start spouting "y'all" and all that silly nonsense. You either have it or you don't. Apparently you don't Travis because you're more an Alabaman than a Texan. Be careful, don't say that too loud, they might just run y'all's ass out on a rail. *wink*

Adriann said...

This Alabama transplant is laughing her butt off!!!!!!! Sounds like a great trip.

Design Goddess said...

I thought EVERYONE could tell a Texan accent from ANY other accent! Heck, even this Yank can!

Phats said...

haha!! I totally wanna go next time I love Vegas!!!! Did you play Craps?

Sounds like a great time. I wouldn't want people thinking I was from Alabama either! It's bad enough I am from Indiana

HelenMWalters said...

Sounds like a great trip!

Sherry said...

Loved this post...what happens in Vegas always stays in Vegas..but I really loved you carrying on like a squirrel on crack!!! Made me laugh out loud!! (and I don't even know you!!) :)

Travis Erwin said...

Patti - I know

Michelle - I'm sure you would lump me in that thick accent category, but ask me I say say what accent?

pretzel - Me more Alabaman than Texas. Keep saying that and y'all are fixin' to make me mad.

adriann - Glad I could make you laugh. I got nothing agaisnt Alabama but we Texans got our pride and if you're going to try and get cute by calling me a redneck at least pick the right kind of redneck. That's all I'm saying.

Design Goddess - I proably thre them off by not wearing shit stained cowboy boots and a Stetson. But as a true Texan I do own both.

phats - no craps this time. i do like to roll the bones, but my coworkers I was with doesn't and craps is more fun if you have a group gathered arpound a table. I even have a short story that I am shopping aropund that deals with craps and lady luck. If you care to read it I'll email it to you. And I go to Vegas a couple of times a year som come on. I'm sure we'd have a blast.

helenmh - Vegas is always fun and interesting. And never the same.

sherry - Thanks. We all need a bit more laughter and if I can be resonsible for some one smiling I feel good about my posts. Thanks for stopping by. Hope to see you here again.

Charles Gramlich said...

Man you have more courage than me. I simply cannot throw away money on gambling. I hate to even lose a quarter.

Travis Erwin said...

Charles- You call it courage, others call it stupidity.

Brooke said...

I was born in New Jersey and have lived in New Jersey my entire life, save for going to college in Connecticut. All that and our IT guy once described me as "That girl with a North Carolina accent."

Monnik said...

oh my gosh, Travis. This post CRACKED me up. The images you used to illustrate your point, the Bulgarian woman, and the banjo coming out of your knee-Alabama thing. Funny stuff.

Ha. :)

The Egg said...

Hehehehe! You have great stories.

Bubblewench said...

Bulgaria! OMG! Hysterical!