Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Tastes Like George Jones

I like animals. Really I do. And no, I do not mean I like them only when they are grilled and served alongside fried 'taters. My carnivorous eating habits aside I enjoys animals both domestic and wild. I own two dogs, a hamster, and it is rumored the Easter will soon be delivering a red-eared slider to the Erwin household to replace the ill-fated Captain Jack.

Captain Jack was a turtle that the boys found on the road near our old house, but sadly after being their pet for two years he was the lone casualty when our house burned.

But back to me and animals. Like I said I like them. I enjoy seeing and watching animals but, I could never live in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. No siree, those people are a bit over the top in their love for animals.

I'm sure you have all heard of Punxsutawney Phil. The groundhog that the folks up in PA have decided is Nostradamus and Al Roker all rolled into one. That's too much faith in a critter for me. Like I said I like animals but I ain't about to plan my next 6 weeks based upon the hunch of a fat hairy rodent. Or Al Roker for that matter.

But the townsfolk's lunacy for their furry friends doesn't stop there. To prove it, let me share a little news story I just read with you.

A Pennsylvania man was arrested Thursday for public drunkenness, after he was spotted trying to resuscitate a dead possum alongside the road.

State troopers said one witnesses called in after watching the man perform what appeared to be a seance over the roadkill. A second witness watched the man conduct mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to the marsupial.

Troopers arrived on the scene to find the suspect with his mouth very close to the animals, which had apparently been dead for several days.

As I said, I like animals, but never have I been tooling down the road only to spot a dead armadillo, and suddenly become overcome with enough grief to get out and provide aid to the roadkill. And I realize spring is just now arriving but even with cool temperatures i can't imagine a possum that's been dead for several days smelling very good. And yeah I realize the dude was plastered, but have you ever been that drunk?

Me neither.

Having a few too many and waking up with an ugly chick is one thing. Frenching, what is basically a giant rat, is another. Nope, there simply isn't enough Rum in the world for me to make that mistake.

Hate to think what this drunk man would have done if he'd spotted the town's famed groundhog dead on the side of the road.


Crystal Posey said...


Kristen Painter said...

When I first read that, I thought it said RESCUING. Resuscitating is something else entirely. Dude, what on earth was he drinking?

Monnik said...

Ack! That is completely horrifying.

That guy had to be more than just drunk.

His family (if they didn't disown him long ago) must be so proud.

Mary said...

Oh, no! I have the same question...what in the hell was he drinking or smoking?

Crystal Phares said...

Thanks Travis. I needed a good giggle today!

Jenn Jilks said...

OMG. You guys are having way too much fun south of the border!

Dizzy Ms. Lizzy said...

That is just SO wrong, on so many levels . . . *shudder*

Texanne said...

Normally I'm a fairly open-minded gal, but, Travis--Ewww!

And you put just the right spin on it.

Screwed Up Texan said...

Oh yuck! I guess that possum really wasnt playing dead!

Cloudia said...

Oh Travis!

Aloha from Hawaii my Friend!

Comfort Spiral

Beth said...

I will try to avoid hitting a creature on the road (yesterday I stopped for a stunned pigeon!) but mouth to mouth resuscitation? Never!

the walking man said...

Just trying to blow a little life into supper is all he was doing dude. what's wrong with a bit of booze marinated meat?

Bubblewench said...

being a PA resident, don't be pickin on our Groundhog! Dude rocks!

Now on to the drunk idiot. Think that says it all.

Wonder if it's the same guy they found break dancing naked in the street a few weeks back.

Lyzzydee said...

The evils of drink!! I think by the time I had drank enough for that I would be unconcious!!

Rick said...

That is scarier than any horrow story I have ever read.

Junosmom said...

OK, I didn't need to read this before breakfast. Now I won't need breakfast. Thank you very much.