Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Too Old For Jersey Shore, Too Young to Crochet

Taking a look at my recent output it's hard to imagine I once was a prolific blogger. And truth of the matter is I've had plenty of things I wanted to share with you but sadly I'm not allowed to. Not yet anyway, so I've been going with the philosophy it's better to say nothing at all than to risk saying too much. But I miss you guys so I'm going to try and be a bit more present in the blog world not only here, but at the various blogs I miss reading as well.

Life was hectic last month, not only writing wise but everyday life as well. My wife had knee surgery to replace her ACL after attempting a daring, one-legged stop of a soccer ball during my son's practice. Okay it wasn't all that daring, but it did prove to be dangerous. She now has a cadaver ligament and I can only hope someone like Pele was the donor so that next time Jennifer can boot that ball back with style.

The recovery period nearly drove my wife insane. I came home one day at lunch to check on her only to find her watching Jersey Shore. The next day she dispatched me to Hobby Lobby to purchase her yarn and crochet needles. On day three she delivered the best line of the whole ordeal when she said, "I'm too old to watch Jersey Shore and too young to crochet.

Now some dating advice from me in the form of some random photos from my phone. Why? Because I can't really talk about what I want to. 

Begin your date by freshening your breath with some of these ...


 because what gal doesn't love the smell of patted meat?

And when dinner is served don't forget to wash it down with some of this fine Texas beer.

And last but not least folks, if your speed date goes particularly well ... you can expect one of these.


Hilary said...

That's a great line your wife delivered. I hope she heals quickly.

Wendy said...

Tell her I said you are never too young to crochet!

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Cadaver ligament . . . Pele . . . LOL! I hope your wife is much better soon.

Old Kitty said...

Why are you being so mysterious!??! What can't you reveal!?? Stop teasing!! LOL!!

Spam mints!??! What a waste of spam! LOL!

Hope Jennifer gets better!! I think knitting. Knitting is totally ageless! Take care

Charles Gramlich said...

Spam mints. An idea whose time has come.

Pearl said...

I had a speed hump once.

It was fantastic.


p.s. speedy recovery to your wife -- and what is it you can't talk about? Hmmm?

Melissa Amateis said...

I know how your wife feels. I've been recovering from my hysterectomy since April 3 and I'm STILL not recovered. It takes a LONG time and apparently I'm a really slow healer. Anyway, I have refused to succumb to bad cable shows and have instead watched marathons of "Hogan's Heroes."

Can't wait to hear your news!!!

the walking man said...

Best to your Jill and her dead mans ligament...may it serve her well brother--unless of course it's your ass she's kicking one legged.

So Travis do tell what you can't tell or we'll start rumors about whatever it is and they will be like Feedstore Chronicle rumors not like pirate ones.

Where else could you go with spam mints except for a speed hump?

Miriam Forster said...

WOO HOO for things you can't share!!!!

Wait, those are good things right?

Adriann said...

It's been a while since I've visited but I had to stop by when I saw the title. Your wife is a hoot...like you! Praying for a speedy recovery.