Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Never Scrimp on Beer, Toilet Paper, Or Prophylactics

The title of this post is solid advice. Words to live by if you will.

I'm known as a cheap frugal guy and while I personally only buy two of the three items above, I felt obligated to warn the rest of you since I have no idea what your state of family planning is.

Now it's no secret my employer, the United States Postal Service is going through some tough times financially. You people simply do not mail the volume of letter you used to. I get cutback and all but come on Uncle Sam. One-Ply toilet paper ain't the way to go.

And I'm not talking about soft one ply I'm talking about rough one ply with the feel of a wino's three day stubble. The texture of gift wrapping tissue paper and cliche as it sounds ... thin enough to read a book through.

Oh you don't believe me?

Now lucky for me I'm a social media whore guru. You see I belong to Klout. Klout measures a person online presence if you will and sometimes awards perks from companies based on your so-called fields of expertise.

Here is a little video about my latest Klout perk.

Now strange as this product might seem let me tell you given my employers decision to sand my ass off one breakfast burrito at a time this free sample of One Wipe Charlies has been a life saver.

And might I say that little peppermint tingle does add a jauntiness to your step.

Yeah I realize that my social media presence has obviously led the fine folks at klout and One Wipe Charlies to think I'm full of shit.

Maybe they are right, but hey, free is free. And for a cheap frugal guy like me that's A-Okay.


Cloudia said...

Perfect motto!


Charles Gramlich said...

Egads, man. Just egads.

Phats said...

This is great haha love it

Anonymous said...

As a casual observer I can testify that Travis is an avid user of the paper product, no matter how thin. I cant imagine the pain he must go through...

the walking man said...

have you had your semi annual psychological evaluation yet?

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